


The Demon Who Loved Me

by QueenOfDestielLand



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blackmail, Crowley (Supernatural) Being an Asshole, Dark Castiel, Demon Castiel, Dom/sub, F/M, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Family Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Master/Pet, Mpreg, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Parental Bobby Singer, Parental Jody Mills, Parents Castiel & Dean Winchester, Pregnant Castiel, Protective Castiel, Redemption, Slow Build Castiel/Dean Winchester, Slow Build Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Smut, Temporary Character Death, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:03:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 56,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfDestielLand/pseuds/QueenOfDestielLand
Summary: Dean Winchester is a single father and a hunter in a world full of monsters. With his younger brother Sam by his side, they fight the good fight in an effort to save other families from going through the same tragedies that they have. When he takes his daughter Rhapsody to the park one day, he meets a man in a trench coat who will change his life forever. He just doesn't know it yet...Castiel is a fallen angel - a demon - banished from Heaven by his Father for being different. But he isn't like the other demons, either, and so he lives a life of solitude, being the King of Hell's personal lap dog and occasional lover. He's miserable, and he prays every day for death. Until one afternoon he goes to the park to feed the ducks, and ends up meeting Dean Winchester, an infamous hunter who hates his kind. Despite the danger that comes with hiding what he is, Castiel feels himself pulled into Dean's life, and falls deeper than he ever imagined he could.





	1. The King of Hell's Favorite Pet

**Author's Note:**

> I have been slowly trying to transfer my stories from my other account to this one, so if this story seems familiar to you, that's why. I hope you enjoy it, as I will be editing it and completing it hopefully within the next few weeks.

Castiel had been fallen for a very long time. So long, in fact, that he could hardly even remember being an angel at all. The images of Heaven seemed more like vague dreams than actual memories. Perhaps he had imagined the whole thing - like his large, raven black wings that shimmered sapphire blue - emerald green in the sun. The way his grace sang with sheer joy whenever his brothers and sisters were near. The way he could sit in his favorite spot in Heaven and eternally watch the autistic man fly the kite. Maybe it was a dream... the delusional aspirations of a damned man who couldn't accept the harsh reality of it all.

Not a man, though. A _demon_.

He supposed it was nothing less than he deserved. He had a different opinion from the flock, and being different only earned you contempt, not praise or respect. Certainly not honor. 

Castiel once had the job of following his Father's orders, no matter what they were. He had been so _proud_ of doing Heaven's bidding. Now, he was doing dirty work for the King of Hell - Crowley. Most of the time it was being a crossroads demon, the lowest of the low. Sometimes he was an enforcer, eliminating those that got in Crowley's way. He never complained about it though, because what could he do, really; Resign? Go find a new job as a barista in some overrated coffee shop? Hardly. His choices were limited, and so he took the souls of the desperate in exchange for whatever they desired. Love, money, a brand new house. There was no limit to human greed and gluttony. Despite it all, he still loved humanity, and grieved whenever he was ordered to kill one of them.

The once proud Seraph of Heaven had been reduced to a common street thug. 

Now he stood in front of Crowley, his tan trench coat hanging off his hunched frame like a second skin. It was one of the only things he had that kept his own humanity intact. It was a curious thing, because he couldn't even remember where he had gotten it.

"Twenty souls this week. Good job, Castiel."

The former angel knew that he should be happy to be praised, but he wasn't. He just felt as dirty as the throne room they stood in - blood staining the floor, various fluids dripping from the walls. It was a far cry from green grass and rainbow kites.

"Castiel?"

He started, finally looking up at the King - _his_ King, his Master, he supposed. It's not like his own Father would ever take him back. "Thank you," he said, his gravelly voice echoing off the worn concrete.

Crowley nodded, glancing down at the clipboard in his hand. "Well, you _are_ my best salesman, after all. I'd expect nothing less."

Castiel wasn't sure what to say in this situation, so he simply stood there silently awaiting his next orders.

"Something on your mind?" Crowley asked, waving all the other demons off. They quickly filed out, some of them whispering and snickering at Castiel. They all knew the affection the King carried for his young protégé. Castiel didn't feel the same way, but he still went along with the rough, violent sex against the dirty walls they often had just so he could feel something other than despair. It never lasted long, but he was always grateful for the slight reprieve.

"Nothing that I can think of," Castiel replied, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

"You just seem awfully distracted today." Crowley rose from his throne and walked closer to his favorite pet, his dark eyes raking over the demon's form.

"I am just eager to continue with my work, Master," Castiel said, watching as Crowley circled him like some kind of predator. "So if there's nothing else..." Inwardly, he hoped Crowley would just dismiss him, because he wasn't in the mood to be the King's plaything today.

Crowley sighed, as if he could read the other demon's thoughts. He turned away, slowly sipping the glass of Craig in his hand. "Not really."

Castiel turned to go.

"Well, there is _one_ thing..."

He paused, wondering what dastardly deed the King had for him now. "Yes?"

"I want you to kill Aaron Biggs. Here's his address." Crowley handed him a small slip of yellow paper.

"What has he done?" Castiel asked, still wondering why he even bothered to question his orders after all this time. Crowley eyed him speculatively, then shrugged, plopping back down on his throne. "He's trying to find a way out of his deal. He's a hunter. Been offing demons left and right. Get rid of him."

Castiel put the paper in his pocket. "Alright. It will be done as soon as possible."

"Definitely sooner, rather than later."

"Of course."

The demon quickly poofed out of the throne room, landing in a driveway in Lexington, Kentucky. He saw Aaron standing a few feet away, throwing duffel bags into the back of his truck with some urgency. Maybe he had already gotten wind that there was a bounty on his head. Hunters were known for their gossip.

Castiel watched for a moment as the man, who wasn't more than 22 years old, picked up a brand new blue teddy bear and held it in his hands for a long while, just staring at it with tears streaming down his face. The demon remembered the deal Aaron had made over a year ago, and just how badly it had fallen apart. Aaron had wanted to have a baby with his wife, who hadn't been able to conceive no matter how hard they tried. After meeting Castiel on the crossroads, the wife gave birth 9 months later to a healthy baby boy. They were stuck by a drunk driver on their way out of the hospital parking lot the next day.

Aaron was the only one who had survived.

The hunter angrily tossed the bear into the cab of the truck, then paused, slowly turning around to face his unwelcome visitor. His eyes went wide with surprise, then recognition, and fury, and he surged forward with his hands extended wide. "You!"

Castiel stood still while the punches and kicks landed on his form, not really faulting the other man for the intense rage he had for the situation.

"How could you do this to me? We had a deal!" Aaron shouted, one of the punches causing Castiel to slightly reel back from the impact. Castiel supposed it was mostly guilt that made him stand there and let the human take out some sort of revenge without retaliation. "I am truly sorry that happened to you," he said.

"No, you're not!" Aaron spat in his face. "You did this on purpose! And now you want my soul? You bastards already fucking took it when you took my wife and son!"

Castiel wiped the spittle off his cheek with the sleeve of his coat. "I had no idea that was going to happen."

Aaron huffed and took a step back, his eyes puffed and red. "You did it on purpose."

"I don't control fate, Aaron."

"Don't talk to me as if you know me, _demon_!" the hunter seethed. "You are nothing but a con artist. A charlatan!"

"To be fair, you made a deal with Hell. You did get what you asked for. A baby with your wife." Castiel knew his attempts at diplomacy were falling on deaf ears at this point. He wasn't even sure why he was trying to placate the man.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Because having my son for less than a day was a real _fucking_ deal, wasn't it? Asshole! I demand that you take me to your boss so he can give me what I'm owed!"

"He already knows what your issue is. That's why I'm here."

"So... he's going to give me my wife and son back?"

"No."

"Then why are you... oh. You intend to kill me, is that it?" Aaron started to walk towards his truck but Castiel simply appeared in front of him and blocked his way. Aaron stared at him for a moment, before laughing bitterly. "It figures. You fuckers are going to take the last thing I have to give. My life."

"For what it's worth, I don't want to do this," Castiel said softly.

"Then don't!" Aaron exclaimed, the fury draining from his face. "You have a choice to do the right thing!"

Castiel felt saddened by that statement. If only it were true... if only he could just walk away and leave this already broken man in peace... "No, I don't." In one quick movement, he brought up his angel blade from his sleeve and stabbed the hunter with it. Aaron let out a surprised gasp, before crumpling to the ground.

The man grabbed onto the demon's trench coat, his blood covered hand leaving a red print on the tan fabric. "Now I can... be with them again," Aaron gurgled through a mouthful of blood. Castiel didn't have the heart to tell him that the hunter was going in an entirely different direction.


	2. The Winchesters Three

Dean Winchester had been a hunter since he could walk. Maybe even before that - it was in his blood, after all. Though he doubted this was the life his parents wanted him to have. Fate was funny that way. No matter what choices you made, you always ended up in the same place that destiny wanted you to be. Dean had tried many times to prove that he was in control of his own life, and always ended up failing miserably.

There was a kind of peace that came with acceptance. You no longer had a war inside your head, two sides trying to make you believe in the impossible. When one of his various one night stands came into his life eight years ago and shoved a baby into his arms, he had thought being a father would be just as impossible as trying to change fate. Tiffany had died a week later, the cancer finally overtaking her frail body. In some ways he was relieved that she wouldn't suffer anymore - in others he was terrified for the future of his family.

He had tried to quit hunting altogether, at first. But when your name was Winchester the life always drags you back in, one way or another. It came in the way of Sam losing Jess to a demon, and back they went on the road. Saving people, hunting things. The Winchester business. Hiding his little girl wherever he could while he fought like Hell to survive. How he had managed to live this long, he had no idea. His surrogate father Bobby often took care of her while Sam and Dean went off on a new case, though, so she wasn't always in danger. He wasn't _that_ horrible of a father.

Every few months, they took a much needed break and spent a week or two at Bobby's house. Sam and Dean had practically been raised there themselves, when their father John had dropped them off during his own hunts. Bobby had converted part of his old salvage yard into a playground for Rhapsody, or Dee, as the rest of her family called her. She was named after her mother's favorite song, the very one that they made love to, in fact. For one crazy night, they had just laid in the Impala together and listened to classic rock, dreaming of a world that wasn't so terrible. He never thought he would see her again after that... but now he saw her everyday in their daughter.

The 8 year old was incredibly spoiled, and never doubted for one minute that she was loved. Even if she did have a big target on her back just for sharing a last name with Sam and Dean, but she didn't have to know that. Her room was full of toys and stuffed animals, even a dollhouse that Bobby had built from scratch. Sam read her stories at night, mythology and fairy tales that she ate up with enthusiasm. Dean would play his guitar and sing to her while she danced, and it never failed to bring a goofy, happy smile to his face. His life may have been full of monsters, but no one would be able to take away the moments that made it all worthwhile.

He was worried now, as he paced in front of the window, watching Rhapsody play on her swingset while Bobby pushed her. None of them had heard from Aaron Biggs, a good friend of theirs, and Dean suspected the kid had gotten himself into trouble. He knew the hunter was offing demons left and right in an attempt to get his contract changed, or maybe even his family back. Surely someone downstairs would be more than a little pissed off at that and want revenge. So Sam had gone out to meet a hunter contact to see if she knew anything.

Dean smiled as he watched Bobby push the little girl on her swing. At first, the older hunter had been less than thrilled about a new baby coming into their lives. It didn't take him long to warm up to her though, and to step into the role of Grandpa.

He turned as he heard the all too familiar rumble of the Impala as it cruised up the driveway, and Dean ran to the door, eager to find out whether or not his buddy was dead. Sam walked in a moment later, the crestfallen look on his face all too telling of Aaron's demise.

"Damn." Dean ran a hand through his hair. " _Shit_. I told him to stop fucking around with demons and just let it go!"

Sam tossed him the keys and sat down on the couch. "Yeah, and he listened just about as well as we did."

Dean plopped next to his brother, sliding the keys into his pocket. "I thought he was going into hiding. Didn't he say that the last time we talked?"

"Guess he didn't get very far. They found him outside his house, stab wound through the chest. His truck was all packed and ready to go." Sam frowned, glancing over at him. "At least he was _kind of_ listening to your advice."

"Lot of good that did him. They still got to him. Bastards."

The two of them hated demons more than any other kind of monster - mostly because it was demons who killed their mother, father, and Sam's girlfriend Jess.

"There's nothing we can do now," Sam told him, leaning back against the couch cushions. "I know he was your friend..."

Dean had been trying to mentor the guy, who had only recently stumbled into the life when a couple of vampires had killed Aaron's parents and grandmother. Now he just felt like some kind of failure. "Yeah. S'ok I guess. Did it... did it look like he suffered?"

Sam shook his head. "No. According to the reports, the cut was clean, right to the heart. So whoever did it wanted to kill him quick."

"At least it was some kind of mercy," Dean mumbled. "Could have been worse."

"Daddy!"

Dean wiped the devastation off his face and replaced it with a smile as his little girl ran inside and jumped into his lap. He hugged her close, her red hair tickling his nose. She looked very much like Tiffany did, except for the striking green eyes and freckles that were so very Dean. "Hey, sweetheart. You have fun with your Grandpa?"

"Yeah! He told me he's going to take me to see the new _Hotel Transylvania_ movie later!"

Dean rolled his eyes, wondering why Hollywood insisted on glamorizing vampires. He had seen enough of them to know they weren't about to fall in love with you, or welcome you to their exclusive monster hotel. Luckily Rhapsody knew the difference, and never mistook real life for fantasy. "Well, that's nice of him."

Bobby walked in behind her, a little out of breath.

Dean chuckled at the sight. "You okay, old man? Wouldn't want you to have a stroke just for pushing a kid on a swing."

"Shut up, ya idjit." Bobby gave him one of his stern faces and sat down at his desk. "Ya hear anything about Aaron yet?"

Dean gave him a pointed look, and the older hunter got the message loud and clear. "Damn. I was worried that would happen."

"Dee, why don't you go upstairs and play with your dolls for a bit? We need to talk about some grown-up stuff."

"Okay, Daddy!" Rhapsody pressed a kiss to his cheek, gave one to Sam, and then ran upstairs to her room. They waited until they heard her playing one of her Disney movies before they continued.

"How'd it happen?" Bobby asked, resting his arms on his desk.

"He was stabbed," Sam recounted, stretching out his long legs. "Didn't seem to be tortured or anything, so maybe it wasn't demons at all."

"I don't know. Sounds like a hit of some kind."

"Demon hitman?" Sam said incredulously.

"Hey, nothing surprises me anymore." Dean frowned. "Nothing more we can do. I don't want to risk pissing someone else off by getting involved, here. I cared about the guy and all, but I don't want us to be put in their crosshairs anymore than we already are."

"I get it," Sam replied with a nod. "Aaron wasn't exactly staying under the radar. You kill a bunch of demons trying to get out of a contract, and someone's going to notice."

"Exactly."

"Are you wanting to pick up another case soon?" Sam asked him, rising to his feet.

Dean paused, listening for a moment to the sound of Rhapsody's laughter coming from upstairs. He wasn't sure that he was ready to leave her again just yet. "Nah. Let's take a few days, let things cool down before we get back on the road."

Sam nodded, understanding his big brother more than anyone, and headed towards the stairs. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me for dinner, jerk."

"Don't count on it, bitch," Dean fired back.

"Ya both are idjits," Bobby said fondly.

"Hey Bobby?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I don't say it enough, but thank you."

"For?"

"You know. For taking care of Dee for us when the hunts are too dangerous. For always being there when we need."

Bobby adjusted his trucker cap. "Come on now, boy. No need to get all sappy with me. You know you two are like sons to me, and I'd do anything for ya. That's my job."

"I know it didn't have to be."

"No. But I _chose_ it to be. Now go upstairs and watch The Little Mermaid with your kid before we both start growin' lady parts. I need to do some research for a couple hunters who called earlier."

Dean laughed, putting his hands up in resignation, and climbed the stairs. His daughter was laying on her Avengers blanket - her favorite one - and moving her arms in time to the song. Dean just watched her for a moment, never imagining in a million years he would have this. A part of him ached to have something more... perhaps even _someone_ , but he knew his job was far too dangerous for them, much less anyone else. No, he would be grateful for this little piece of bliss. He walked into the room and sat next to her on the blanket, cradling her in his arms while they watched the movie for the millionth time.

This. This was happiness.


	3. My Brother the Trickster

"Excellent work, Castiel. You are _such_ a good little pet."

"Thank you."

"Come with me to my chambers. Let me show you just how proud I am of you."

Castiel readily accepted the King of Hell's invitation and followed the King down the familiar hallway. It was the only way to make life even remotely easy for himself.

He barely even noticed all the usual glares as they passed by the other residents of the Pit. They had never really accepted him, after all, even before he was made into Crowley's prized pet. They knew he was different. They knew he hated being a demon like the rest of them. He sometimes wondered if they could sense the tiny bit of grace that lingered deep inside his vessel, entrapped within the vortex of evil and damnation that made up who he was. Maybe that was the ultimate punishment, because instead of taking all of the grace that made him an angel, his Father had left him with just enough to remind him that he wasn't.

As he disrobed in front of the demon, he felt nothing but guilt over his actions the night before. Aaron wasn't the first one he had killed, and he probably wouldn't be the last, but the last few words he had spoken had resonated with the former angel...

_"For what it's worth, I don't want to do this."_

_"Then don't! You have a choice to do the right thing!"_

Maybe his Father had been right in casting him out, if his current choice in bedfellow was any indication.

Castiel didn't give Crowley the details on Aaron's death, and thankfully the King didn't ask. The truth was, he hadn't wanted the man to suffer anymore than he already had. Spending all that time in an obsessive quest for vengeance had burned the young man out... it had been written all over his face. There was nothing for him to live for anymore. Perhaps it was why he hadn't fought back as hard as he could have. Aaron was no veteran to hunting, but he had been trained by someone who was probably the best hunter in the world - Dean Winchester. Castiel had almost wished that the hunter had managed to dispatch him, because he would have happily accepted his own demise.

He could feel the thrusts begin to slow behind him. Thank God. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. He thought having dirty, shameful sex with the King would help distract him by trading one regret for another. It didn't work quite as well as he'd hoped. Now all he had was two more reasons to hate his very existence.

Yes, excellent job _indeed_ , Castiel.

Crowley collapsed on the bed beside him after he came, his silk pajamas clinging to his sweaty body, and Castiel slowly got dressed. They never spoke after these sessions, and Castiel was grateful for that. He wasn't sure that he could muster up a dialogue even if he wanted to. He slipped out of the bedroom and walked down the hall, his black dress shoes making loud clicking noises on the concrete floor. The other demons looked at him once more with disgust as he did his walk of shame, feeling their envious eyes glare into his back. He didn't want their envy - he would gladly trade places with them in a second if he could. But for some reason Crowley liked him the best.

_Lucky him._

He closed his eyes and pictured one of his favorite places in the world. It was a park in Sioux Falls, South Dakota - a beautiful place that had a small pond with ducks and geese. Often he came here when he wanted to be alone and think - which was ironic since the park was rarely empty. He found a bench that sat along the water's edge, and retrieved a baggie of bread crumbs from his pocket. Carefully, he distributed the crumbs to the ducks that clamored around him, smiling ever so briefly for the first time in a while. Had he done this sort of thing when he was an angel? He could hardly remember...

He felt his brother's presence before he actually saw him and stiffened on the bench.

"Hello, little brother."

The voice, which he would know anywhere, caused his breath to hitch. For a moment, it felt like he couldn't find the right words, or maybe he even forgot them altogether, so he closed his eyes, focusing on the grace from the angel who had once held him tightly in his arms. Despite how much his demonic side fought against the closeness, it did give him some semblance of comfort. "Gabriel."

At one time, Castiel's grace had glowed bright at the proximity of another angel, but now the tarred, blackened thing inside his body recoiled angrily instead. The smile dropped from his face, and he resisted the urge to simply teleport away. He knew that this talk was long overdue however, and so he continued to sit there, feeding the ducks and geese who were oblivious to the turmoil beneath the surface of his skin.

"What are you doing?" Gabriel spoke the words slowly, carefully, as if worried Castiel would go off at any moment.

"I'm... feeding the water fowl. They seem to enjoy breadcrumbs."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

Of course he knew it. It just wasn't a conversation he was ready to have right now, especially not with him. "Why are you here, Gabriel?"

"I'm worried about you."

Castiel nearly laughed out loud at that. It had been at least a century since he had seen the angel. Maybe even longer. "Why should you worry about me _now_ , when I could have used your concern all those years ago?"

Gabriel glared at him in response. "Don't bring _that_ up here!" he hissed.

"Where should I bring it up then?" Castiel asked. "When I'm in Hell with my demonic lover? When I'm stabbing another innocent man in the chest? Tell me, Gabriel. I really wish to know!"

The other man clenched his fists at his side. "This was a bad idea. I should have just let you keep falling - "

"I have already fallen," Castiel said bitterly. "I have fallen farther than any angel should. Why should you care about me anymore?"

"Because you're still my brother," the angel whispered. "You will _always_ be my brother."

Castiel paused to trail his fingers over the downy wings of a baby duck. Those wings were very much like that of an angel, and it caused his hand to tremble and shake. "What good does that do, when I am still trapped either way."

"And sleeping with the King of Hell is going to make this better?" Gabriel snapped. "Is it making you _feel_ better?"

Castiel pulled his hand away from the small bird, staring down at the nearly empty bag of crumbs. "No. It makes me feel disgusted with myself."

"Father might let you back in if you changed. Wasn't that the whole point of this? To teach you a lesson?"

"A lesson about what, brother? Falling in line and not speaking my mind? Following orders without question - "

"Isn't that what you're doing now?"

Castiel looked at the angel next to him, those whiskey gold eyes full of grief. He knew that if anyone would mourn him turning into a demon and losing his grace, it would be Gabriel. "He accepts me. No one else will even speak to me."

Guilt flashed in those eyes now and Gabriel looked away. "A lot of our brothers and sisters don't want to end up like... they don't want to break the rules. If a good angel like you gets cast out, then how do they know they won't be next?"

"A pathetic excuse to pretend I do not exist." Castiel shoved the baggie in his pocket. "Why did you really come? To gloat? To make me feel worse than I already do?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I still care. I'm sorry it took so long for me to come to you, I just..." Gabriel sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "I just don't know what to do. I've begged and pleaded with Father to give you another chance, but he won't budge. He just keeps saying the same thing."

"Redemption."

"Yeah." Gabriel raked a hand through his hair. "What does that even mean? Do you spend a few hours at a soup kitchen and you're good again? I just... I feel so fucking helpless, Cassie." He stopped short, his eyes widening as he spoke the old nickname he used to call Castiel when they were growing up together.

Castiel tried to ignore the way his blackened heart leapt at that, or the way he now yearned to lean over and hug his brother. "I don't know, either," he said, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

"Killing innocents is going to turn you so dark that there won't be any coming back from it," Gabriel continued, one hand slowly inching towards Castiel. He caught what he was doing at the last minute and snapped it back to rest on his leg. "Please, Castiel... you have a choice."

Those words again.

Castiel gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. "Just get out of here, Gabriel. Please. Don't damn yourself, too."

"But, I - "

"Go!"

"As you wish."

He felt it when Gabriel was gone. The swirling vortex inside him calmed down, like a churning sea after a storm. He hadn't expected the visit from his brother. Why _now_ of all times? Had something changed? He was so caught up in his thoughts, he hadn't sensed the presence of the other person standing in front of him.

"Hey, man. You okay?" a deep voice said in concern.

His eyes snapped open and he looked up... right into the bright, beautiful green eyes of Dean Winchester.


	4. Meet Cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse

The decision to go to the park had been random.

Rhapsody was still so jazzed about seeing _Hotel Transylvania_ that her energy had been all over the place. She was so energetic, in fact, that not even Sam had been able to keep up with her. Dean then packed them a lunch, grabbed her hand, and walked down the street.

As she chatted nonstop about the various characters in the movie, Dean couldn't help but smile at his daughter's excitement. He was going to miss that when he and Sam hit the road the next week. They had been at Bobby's for far too long as it was, and monsters were still killing people. A small part of him wanted to find out who had killed his friend Aaron, just because the kid deserved better than to be stabbed in his own driveway, but he didn't want to put his family in danger, either.

"Why aren't vampires that nice in real life, Daddy?" Rhapsody asked, skipping along beside him.

"Dunno, kiddo. I wish they were, because it would sure as hell make my life easier."

"Have you ever tried just talking to them?" she asked, pausing to examine a small lizard that skittered across the sidewalk.

Dean rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. He had always been honest with his daughter about what he and Sam did for a living, though he tried not to give her too many details. Unfortunately, there was a few times when she had to be there in person, hiding in the shadows while her dad and uncle took care of business. It wasn't what he wanted her life to be, but until the big bads stopped killing humans, he had to do it. "They don't usually give me a chance to," he replied, grabbing her hand again when she lost interest in the lizard.

"So are all monsters bad, then?" she continued, her bright red hair flowing in the wind. Sometimes it amazed Dean just how much she looked like her mother. He and Tiffany may not have been in love or anything, but they had a connection. If it weren't for the fact he was a hunter, he might have considered calling her again after their passionate night in his Impala. He didn't want to risk her safety, though.

"I've never met one that was good," he answered, adjusting the lunch bag in his left hand.

They walked a little further in silence, the birds chirping around them, the sound of kids playing in the distance as they got closer to the park. Dean hadn't been here in a long time, but it still brought back memories of when Bobby had taken him here to play catch when he was younger.

"What about angels?" she asked suddenly.

He paused, thinking about the question. It was something Sam had even asked about once, but he had no answer to give even then. No one he knew had ever seen angels, or any evidence that they even existed. That was a whole other side of religion that he didn't want to think about. Dean had never been the type of guy to believe in God - there was far too much pain in the world to believe He was real. "I don't know," he said honestly, pausing at the edge of the street and looking both ways. "But I suppose if they were real, they wouldn't exactly be monsters."

"I bet they have white fluffy wings and robes with glitter," Rhapsody said, her green eyes full of wonder. "And they have halos made from the sun."

Dean had always adored his daughter's creative imagination. He ruffled her hair with a laugh, then led her across the street. "Well, if I ever see one, I'll tell you what they look like."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Look at all the ducks, Daddy!" she exclaimed. "They really love that man over there!"

Dean followed her line of sight, noticing the lone man sitting on the bench, wearing a tan trench coat. That was odd - it was barely early October. As they got closer, he realized the man looked upset about something, his eyes pressed tightly closed, his hands shaking in his lap. The hunter in Dean wanted to grab his daughter and get the hell out of there, but the compassionate guy inside wanted to make sure the stranger was alright. It was a hard line to walk sometimes.

"Why don't you go play on the swings," Dean told Rhapsody. "But stay where I can see you."

"Okay!" She happily ran off towards the playground, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste. She definitely got that part from Dean.

"Hey, man. You okay?" he said, once he reached the bench.

The man's eyes opened and he stared up at Dean with a shocked look on his face. Dean realized that not only was this guy incredibly hot, but he had the bluest eyes that the hunter had ever seen. For a moment, the two of them just gazed at one another, sapphire locked on emerald, neither one of them seeming to find words. Finally, Dean forced himself to look away, focusing on his daughter on the swings for a moment.

What was  _that_ all about?

"Sorry, I - nevermind. You alright, buddy?" he asked again, awkwardly clearing his throat.

"That's a very complex question," the stranger replied, with a deep, gravelly voice.

 _Damn, that's sexy,_ Dean thought to himself. _Get it together, Winchester!_

"I suppose it is," Dean agreed. "May I?" he asked, gesturing to the empty space beside the man.

He seemed confused for a moment, his gaze swinging to whatever it was Dean had pointed at, then nodded. "Of course."

Dean slid onto the bench, giving another quick glance at his daughter. She had found a small group of children to play with.

"Is she yours?"

"What?"

"The red haired girl on the swings."

Dean paused before he answered. The guy seemed harmless enough, but he could never be too sure. "Why?"

The stranger seemed almost insulted, and put his hands up. "I don't intend to hurt her. I was just... making conversation. Isn't that what people do?"

It was a strange choice in wording, but maybe the guy was just socially awkward, if that trench coat was any indication.

"Sorry, man. Just a bit tense today, I guess."

The man huffed a laugh. "I think I know the feeling."

"Yeah, I got that when I first saw you." Dean offered him his hand. "I'm Dean."

The other man hesitated for a moment, then offered his own. "Castiel."

"Interesting name."

"My... Father was deeply religious."

"Ah, so biblical, then."

Castiel smiled a little, and Dean thought it was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. Geez, why was he being such a sap about this random dude? "You could say that."

"So, wanna talk about it?"

"Excuse me?"

"Whatever was bothering you. You don't have to, of course. Just seemed like you needed a shoulder or something."

Dean glanced at the ducks that swam lazily around the pond, feeling a bit silly for pushing the subject. Not everyone wanted to spill their feelings, after all. He was usually one of those people.

"That too, is a complex question." Castiel folded his arms in his lap. "I guess you could call it - family troubles."

"I hear that."

"You hear what?" Castiel tilted his head quizzically.

"It's just a saying, Cas. Can I call you Cas? Just seems easier to remember."

"Yes."

"Anyway, it's just that with family comes trouble. There are good days and bad days. I'm guessing today was a bad day?" Dean didn't know why he was so interested in the stranger's personal life, but there was something about Castiel...

"My brother came to visit me for the first time in... years. He hadn't even spoken to me since our Father cast me out."

Dean felt pity for the guy. He knew what it felt like to be tossed aside because you weren't good enough. "I'm sorry, man. Really."

"I had hoped that that maybe he was here to tell me I could go home. That our Father had finally forgiven me. But he was just here to criticize my life, and tell me how much he disliked my choice in lover."

His lover. It figured. How could this good looking dude not have a lover? He was probably straight, too.

"Why doesn't he like her?" Dean asked, trying to sound nonchalant about the whole thing.

"It's a 'he', and it's because he is... a bad guy."

Dean sat up in his seat, worry evident on his face. "What do you mean, he's a bad guy? Does he hurt you?"

Castiel looked unsure on how to answer that question, and that in itself was telling to the hunter.

So, poor Cas was being abused by some asshole. He felt a surge of anger rise in his chest. He had laid out more than a few douchebags over the years who had hurt his friends. He didn't know Castiel that well, but he still didn't tolerate that bullshit in any shape or form. "Listen, if you need help, just tell me," Dean whispered, leaning closer. "I've seen this scenario enough times to know it never ends well. If you don't get out soon, he might end up killing you one day."

Castiel's blue eyes filled with sadness. "Maybe I bring it on myself. I stay with him because I deserve the punishment."

The statement made Dean's heart clench, and he put a hand on the guy's shoulder. "No one deserves to be abused, Cas. No matter what you think you did, or what you think you deserve." He spoke from experience. There were many times over the years when he had blamed himself for the death of his parents, even the death of Sam's girlfriend Jess. No amount of alcohol and despair could bring the ones you love back from death, though. He had tried.

"You don't understand the things I've done..."

"That doesn't matter."

Castiel rose from the bench, a panicked look on his face. "I have to go. I shouldn't have told you all this."

"Cas, wait." Dean stood too, reaching into his pocket to grab one of the various business cards he always had with him. He shoved it into the man's hand. "If you ever need anything, even if it's just someone to talk to, you can always reach me at this number, okay?"

Castiel stared down at the offered card, then slipped it into his pants pocket. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

Dean watched as the man in the trench coat hurriedly walked away. He was worried about the guy, after what he told him. He wished he could help somehow.

"Daddy!"

He turned as Rhapsody came running up to him, pulling her into his arms. When he looked back again, the man was nowhere to be found. He sighed, pressing a kiss to her hair. "Did you have fun, kiddo?"

"Yeah! Is your friend okay?"

"He's... I hope so. Let's eat some lunch."

There was nothing he could do further except wait. He just hoped Castiel wouldn't wait until it was too late to seek help.


	5. Doorways to Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse and torture

_I just met Dean Winchester..._

Castiel's mind was a flurry of thoughts as he landed in a empty part of Hell a few moments later. His hands were clenched tight, his face a mask of disbelief at the events that had just unfolded at the park. Had that really just happened? Surely he wouldn't have lived to tell the tale if it had been real. Was the whole conversation with Gabriel his imagination, too?

He scrubbed a hand across his face, remembering the panic he had felt when he looked up to find _Dean_ of all people standing there. His first instinct had been to teleport away (which would have given him away instantly), but the hunter didn't seem to have noticed that Castiel wasn't human. He seemed... concerned for him, in fact. Worried about the demon's well-being. The only other one who had shown him that they cared lately was Gabriel - but he suspected that was mostly out of guilt.

_"Listen, if you need help, just tell me. I've seen this scenario enough times to know it never ends well. If you don't get out soon, he might end up killing you one day."_

Dean's words flashed through his mind again, and he huffed a laugh. If only the human knew how true that statement was. Castiel had no doubt that once he outlived his usefulness Crowley would just kill him and move on to someone else. That's what demons did. Part of him hoped that going to happen soon, because it would mean the end of his torment. The other part of him, however...

"I just want to be an angel," he whispered to the silence, his fingers playing with the edges of the card Dean had given him. He would never call Dean, though, because eventually the green eyed man would discover what Castiel really was. Hunters were known to check each other with salt and holy water whenever they reunited, and Castiel would probably be no different.

He ran a hand through his dark hair in frustration. Why was he even thinking about this? He had no intentions of ever seeing Dean again. They had met _one_ time, had a short conversation, and he had managed to get away unscathed. He needed to count that as a win and get on with his life. Besides, it wasn't like Dean could actually do anything to help. What was one man against a whole army of Hell? The human would be killed, and that would be yet another reason to feel guilt that he didn't need.

That, and Dean was also a father of a little girl, and she didn't need to be orphaned on Castiel's account.

He sighed, leaning back against the wall. He didn't even care that it was covered in dirt and grime. He just felt so utterly exhausted with everything that had been happening lately. Gabriel wanted Castiel to change so that he could come home, but how could he? He didn't even think he'd be allowed to go back to Heaven if they knew what he had done, or all the people he had killed. Somehow his brother was aware of his 'relationship' with Crowley though, and that was bad enough. For them to discover how dark he had become... No. There was no going back and he needed to accept that truth.

 _Gabriel._ He had been the only one who had even looked saddened by the fact that Castiel was going to be cast out. Still, the archangel said nothing when his younger brother was tossed from the fields of Heaven into the pits of Hell, with all of their family watching. Castiel could still remember the way his wings had burned off, each feather slowly turning to ash the closer he got to his new home. His tiny spark of grace was fighting like mad against the black slither of darkness that was creeping inside him. No matter how loud he screamed, the pain only got worse. When he finally landed at Crowley's feet, broken, bloody, and defeated, he had no fight left in him. The King had nursed him back to health and took him under his wing. Crowley was there when no one else was.

When no one else cared if he lived or died.

Life for him had been far from perfect though, because when he refused to kill people on command, he earned time on the rack just like anyone else who opposed the King. He was tortured and flayed and beaten until he was unrecognizable, the process repeated every day until he did what Crowley wanted. Maybe it was that small bit of grace that was still inside him, or the fact that he didn't want to submit so easily to a monster, but he didn't budge. It wasn't until Crowley threatened to kill Gabriel that Castiel finally accepted his fate. Even if his brother hadn't spoken up for him, he would speak up for his brother.

His kills began to blur together after awhile, each face a vague memory that he forced himself to forget. Dwelling on them too much might lead to doubts, and that would inevitably cause Gabriel's demise. He laughed bitterly at the irony that Gabriel was disappointed in what he had become, when he was the reason that Castiel was even doing it at all. Castiel would never tell his brother that, though, because his guilt was his own. It was his hand that lifted the blade to strike down humans and monsters alike. It was his blade which spread death and destruction across Hell and Earth. He closed his eyes, listening to the screams of the latest victims in the distance. He had been one of them once, a naive angel in the land of abominations and misery. He hadn't expected to live longer than that first day, but here he was. Crowley's hired hand. Loyal to a fault.

_"No one deserves to be abused, Cas. No matter what you think you did, or what you think you deserve."_

He wondered if Dean would still want to help him if the hunter knew exactly what it was he had done. No, the human would most likely kill him just as he did all the supernatural beings he met. There was no gray areas to hunters like him.

He lifted the card out of his pocket, ready to toss it into the sea of lava in front of him. The name Agent Dean Collins was written in bold lettering, along with a phone number and his 'credentials'. Collins? It must be one of Dean's aliases. He had forgotten it was one of the many ways hunters got their information for cases. He tried to throw the card into the lava again, but something was making him hesitate. He knew it was foolish - they could never be friends and Dean could never know what he was. So why was he already so attached to a simple piece of paper?

He slipped the card back into his pocket again. Well, it wouldn't hurt to keep it handy in case Castiel needed some information later. He knew that excuse was flimsy, but he would take it.

"Well, looky what we have here, boys."

He recognized the voice instantly, and quickly turned around. Standing a few feet away from him were Crowley's guards that usually stood watch whenever he and the King were being intimate - if one could call it that. Three demons who never hid their distaste for his very existence. Castiel knew they would eventually try to do something like this, but they had really _terrible_ timing.

He started to walk past them, but Victor, the leader, stopped him. He was a big burly guy with red hair and a beard that hung down to his chest. The others were Damon and Rodrick, both in the vessels of Japanese businessmen.

"What are you doing? Let me pass," Castiel told them, eyes narrowing in anger.

"You must think you're so fucking special, don't ya?" Victor continued, ignoring Castiel's annoyance. "Just because you're the King's favorite."

Castiel put his hands up. "I don't care whether I'm his favorite or not. If you want the position so badly, then go talk to him about it."

The three demons sneered at him. "I _did_ have the position before you came here, asshole!" Victor snapped, his green eyes flickering to black. "But a pretty boy Angel comes along and suddenly I'm not good enough. Suddenly all I'm good for is to keep guard while he fucks you."

His two lackeys murmured their agreement.

"I'm not... an angel anymore," Castiel said slowly. "I'm just like you."

"That's not entirely true though, is it?" Victor walked closer to him, those dark eyes peering into his like two voids that could swallow him whole. "We can sense it, you know? Just barely, but it's there. That disgusting, holy grace you got that's trapped inside you." Victor jammed a finger into Castiel's chest. "You ain't like us. You might be more demon than angel, but you're still nothing but a fluffy winged freak!"

Castiel shoved Victor back roughly. "I don't have my wings anymore! They were gone by the time I got here!"

The three demons burst into laughter at his response. "Wings or not, you still have a conscience. You still cry late at night over the pathetic little humans you killed." Victor moved close again, the stench of decay and sulfur floating off him in waves. "Do you deny it, Angel?"

"Stop calling me that!" Castiel yelled, shoving Victor away again.

"Tell me, Angel... what do you think your Father would say if he knew that nearly every night you have your lips wrapped around the King of Hell's cock?"

The words hit home, and he felt his heart clench with pain and fury. Before he could reply, the demons descended on him, like a swarm of bees attacking their prey.

He fought to stay on his feet, matching punch for punch and kick for kick, but before long he had fallen to the ground, that tiny bit of grace recoiling whenever they touched him. He closed his eyes, willing them to just go away, but the attacks just kept coming. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they left him there, laughing and high-fiving each other at what they had done as they strolled away. For a long time, he simply laid on the ground, feeling the bruises and welts forming on his flesh, his hand absently reaching into his pocket for that business card. He had never cried before but he could feel tears threaten to fall down his cheeks. The card, simple as it was, made him feel better the longer he clutched it in his palm, not caring that the edges of it made little cuts on his skin. No, he could never call Dean, because doing so would just put him in danger.

He had brought this on himself.


	6. Family doesn't Start With Blood

It had been a week since Dean met Castiel.

He couldn't stop thinking about the trench coated man for some reason, no matter how hard he tried. He attributed it to just being concerned about the guy since it was pretty clear Castiel was in some kind of abusive relationship with an asshole who didn't deserve him. He was worried because silence could mean many terrible things, including death. What if Castiel's boyfriend had found the business card and got angry at him for having it? Dean didn't like that thought at all.

The two brothers packed up the car on Tuesday morning, ready to get back to work and take on a case that sounded a lot like demons. Neither of them wanted to go, but they knew that they had to. Life was still going on outside those doors, and people were still getting killed.

Dean bent down to kiss his little girl on the cheek and hugged her tightly to him. "You be good to your grandparents, hear me?" he said to her, trying to ignore how much this hurt every time. He knew his daughter was safest here, but it didn't make it any easier to leave her behind.

"Yes, Daddy!" Rhapsody said, her tiny hands clutching his blue flannel, lower lip trembling. "But I wish you and Uncle Sammy didn't have to go!"

"Me too, Princess," Dean said, trying to keep it together. He kissed the top of her head. "I always miss you so much, but maybe we could stay a little longer if you really wanted."

"You're going to save people though, right?" his daughter asked, her green eyes staring intently into his.

"Yes, but-"

"Then you have to go, because that's what heroes do, right?" Rhapsody kissed him on the cheek. "And you and Uncle Sammy are both heroes."

Dean felt choked up at the statement and had to look away. "I try to be, sweetheart. Doesn't always work out that way."

"You'll always be one to me, Daddy. No matter what." She put a hand on his arm, very reminiscent of what Sam used to do to him. Damn, the kid made him melt like an ice cream on a hot summer day.

Dean took a shuddering breath. "Thank you, Dee."

Rhapsody ran over and hugged her Uncle Sam, who looked closer to tears than Dean was.

The older Winchester felt a bit of victory at that. He turned around and finished packing the last duffel bag.

"We'll miss you guys," Sam told Jody, giving her a warm embrace.

Sheriff Jody Mills, who had finally gotten Bobby to pop the question after many years of awkward tension, looked like she was close to tears herself at the goodbye scene. She handed Sam a bag of food that she had put together earlier. "Here you go. So you don't have to just rely on cheap diner food."

"Hey! there's nothing wrong with diner food!" Dean said indignantly, straightening up and grabbing the last duffel from the floor.

"I don't know how you two have managed to avoid having heart attacks all this time," Jody continued, wagging her finger for emphasis. "But I wish you'd at least try to eat better. It's bad enough you're constantly in danger..."

"To be fair," Sam chimed in, before she could go on another motherly tirade. "I do eat fruit and salad. Dean's the one who has a greasy cheeseburger everyday."

"Thanks a lot for ratting me out, bitch."

"Anytime, jerk."

"Shut up, ya idjits. Now get out of my house already," Bobby said, giving them each a rough pat on the shoulder. Bobby had never been one for emotional goodbyes, either, but he said how he felt in his own way. He gently lifted Rhapsody up into his arms as Sam and Dean walked out the door. "Take care of yourselves," he added.

"Call us when you get into town!" Jody called after them. "The second you arrive!"

"Yeah, we will!" Sam replied, sliding into the passenger seat of the Impala, shaking his head at how over-protective the woman was. Still, it warmed their hearts to know she cared.

Dean gave one last look to the house he had grown up in, his green eyes wistful as he gazed at the two people he loved like his parents, and the little girl who he would die for. "Gonna miss em', Sammy," he said softly, resting a hand on the roof of the car.

"I know, Dean. They'll be okay, though."

"Yeah. Just... can't wait til' we can actually retire one day." Dean slid into the drivers' seat and started the engine. "Think we'll ever be able to do that?"

"I hope so," Sam replied, running a hand through his long hair. "Maybe retire on a farm in the country or something. Take up woodworking."

Dean slowly pulled out of the driveway and onto the street. "That would be nice. Maybe we could get some animals for Dee to play with."

"She'd love that. And if you're lucky there will be a pond for you to fish in."

"Yeah. I'll be happy to teach you how, if you wanted."

"Of course."

They drove in companionable silence for a little while before Sam glanced at him again. "Hey, did you ever hear back from that guy?"

"What guy?" Dean of course, knew what guy Sam was talking about, but he didn't want to make it obvious that he had been thinking about him, too.

"You know. The one you met at the park."

"Oh. Casti-something or other."

"Yeah. Him." Dean scrubbed a hand across his jaw. "Dunno. Maybe everything is okay and he didn't need my help, after all."

"Maybe." Sam didn't sound convinced though. "Did you ever go back to the park and see if he was there?"

Dean had in fact done that, several times that week, but to no avail. Even the ducks and geese looked confused about his absence. "Couple times," he said, with a shrug of his shoulders like it was no big deal.

"Huh." Sam looked out the window, brow furrowed in thought. "Hope he's okay."

"You don't even know the guy," Dean laughed, trying to make light of the situation.

"So? Obviously you care about him."

Dean's laughter was cut short, and he stared intently at the road in front of them, hands gripping the wheel tight. "I barely met the dude one time, and talked to him for like 20 minutes. How can I care about him?"

"It's how I felt when I first met Jess," Sam answered, his voice laced in emotion. "All it takes is one time to... Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Jessica Moore. Yet another life Dean couldn't save.

He gritted his teeth. "I know what you're getting at, Sammy, but I don't do love at first sight. That's for cheesy rom-coms and guys who aren't me."

"Really? What about Tiffany?" Sam continued. "You told me yourself you felt something."

The memory of Tiffany was still a painful one, even though it had been 8 years. He wasn't sure if it was because of that rare connection the two of them had, or the fact he now had a daughter because of her, but it still hurt like a bitch to think about.

"Something, yeah. Not sure what."

"Love, maybe?"

Dean hated having chick flick moments, especially with his little brother. He resisted the urge to tell Sam to shut the hell up, because he knew the guy meant well, but it didn't mean he had to like this line of questioning. "I don't think I've ever been in love, Sammy. Not really. Maybe I don't know how. Maybe I'm just broken."

"That's not true. You _do_ know how to love. You raised me, didn't you? You've been raising a little girl for 8 years and she turned out great."

"I had to. What else was I gonna do, leave you to rely solely on John Winchester's A+ parenting? Or put Rhapsody up for adoption? I'm no deadbeat. I did what I needed to do."

"And you don't think that's love?"

Dean sighed. "Of course it is. I'm talking romantic love, here." 

Sam gazed at him for a moment before looking towards the road again. "Do you think if you had given Tiffany a chance, you could have loved her?"

It was a question Dean had thought about a lot over the years, especially as he watched his daughter grow up to look just like her. Rhapsody had the same curiosity about the world that Tiffany had, too - a trait that had nearly scared Dean to death when the little girl decided to leave Singer Salvage to go looking for rabbits. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he had cried like a baby when he found her sitting by a tree and cradling a bunny in her arms as if nothing was wrong.

"Possibly," Dean replied finally. "But in our line of work, we can't afford attachments, Sammy. We have enough trouble keeping our family safe, much less trying to add a civilian to the mix."

"So in that scenario where we retire on the farm..."

"It'll just be us, my kid, and Bobby and Jody, God willing that we're still alive then and some asshole demon hasn't offed us."

Sam looked sad at that, and reached down to turn on the radio. The sounds of Metallica drifted in the air and Dean was grateful for the reprieve from talking. He didn't think he could handle anymore of it. The truth was, they probably _wouldn't_ live to see that beautiful country farm with the pond, because that's just how it was. Hunters had low life expectancies and another one would just pop up when one would fall. He had made peace with himself about that. He just counted himself lucky that he had been able to experience fatherhood and being a big brother, because most people didn't get that chance.

Especially if your last name was Winchester.


	7. A Stab in the Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Mentions of abuse, threats to a child

Castiel didn't realize he had passed out until he awoke in the all too familiar bedroom of the King of Hell himself.

He felt a throbbing pain all over his body, and his head felt like it was going to explode. He didn't think it was possible to feel such human vulnerabilities, but here he was - lying on Crowley's black satin sheets and wishing they had just shoved him into the pit of lava and been done with it.

But he had never been that lucky.

"Good morning, sunshine."

He glanced to his left, where Crowley was sitting in a plush, crimson colored chair, a disappointed look on his face. The last time Castiel had seen it, he had ended up on the rack.

He quickly tried to sit up, but the sharp pain in his temple caused him to slump back down again with a groan. "What happened?" he murmured, pressing a hand to his forehead. "How long have I been out?"

"Don't you remember? A week or so. You got your ass kicked." The King's voice was casual, as if they were just discussing the weather, and not how Castiel had been assaulted by three of their own.

"I remember that... But how did I get _here_?" Surely Crowley hadn't been nursing him back to health. 

Crowley tapped a couple fingers on the armrest of the chair, his eyes scrutinizing the demon on the bed. "Someone had to carry you. I guess the pain was just too much for you to handle." His words were mocking, as if he had expected Castiel to absorb the hits like some omnipotent God. Castiel almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of that. He would have liked to see how Crowley would have fared against three guys himself.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," he said, not bothering to hide the snark in his words.

Crowley just glared at him. "It _is_ an inconvenience when I find my best salesman and enforcer lying unconscious on the ground." The King raised up his right hand, and Castiel could feel his stomach drop at what was in it. "And clutching this in his hand."

Castiel just stared at the business card that was now stained with his blood. How was he supposed to explain that away? Maybe Crowley had no idea who Dean Collins was, and wouldn't even connect him to the hunter. He tried to remain nonchalant as he answered, slowly attempting to sit up in the bed again. "An F.B.I Agent saw me in the park and was asking me some questions. He was investigating a murder of some kind, but I had no information I could give him." He gave a shrug of his shoulders. "I doubt I'll ever see him again."

The King studied him for a long while, those dark eyes boring into his. "Is that so?"

"Yes. He handed me his card and... told me to call if I thought of anything relevant to the case." That seemed plausible, right?

"And why were you holding it so fiercely when I found you?"

He really had no answer to the question, and so he decided to try to change the subject. "What happened to Victor and his friends?"

Crowley wasn't deterred though, and he snapped the card towards him. It hit Castiel square on the bridge of his nose, then landed in his lap. He stared down at the name AGENT DEAN COLLINS emblazoned on the front, feeling guilt churn in his chest. "Tell me the truth, Castiel, or you _will_ be sorry."

"I told you the truth! He's just a harmless F.B.I Agent -"

Crowley jumped to his feet. "You must assume I'm a bloody moron!" he shouted, the anger rolling off him in waves. "Don't you think I know _exactly_ who this guy is? Don't you think I'd know a Dean _fucking_ Winchester alias when I saw one?"

Castiel swallowed hard. He knew. Of course he knew. "I didn't make the connection," was all he could say in his defense.

The silence and tension in the room was heavy, and Castiel averted his eyes to look at the roaring fireplace. He had spent many a night here in this place, just gazing into the inferno and trying to forget his worries - mostly while Crowley fucked him from behind. It was the only way he managed to keep his sanity when he felt like everything was spinning out of control. Ever since he had become a demon, all that order and structure he was used to had been thrown into chaos. He had no idea if he would live to see another day, or if one morning Crowley would decide to terminate him forever, or even stick him on another torture rack and forget him.

"Do you like him?"

Castiel glanced back at the King, whose face was now unreadable. He couldn't tell if the answer was out of jealousy or simple curiosity, but he had to handle it delicately. While he didn't know the hunter well, obviously, he didn't want to be the reason another innocent man died - even if Dean did go hunting Castiel's own kind. Not that he could blame the human for that, of course. He wished he could do the exact same thing.

"No. I just met him once, and it was very brief."

"What did the two of you speak about?"

_How I needed to get away from you before you killed me._

Castiel wasn't sure if Crowley was aware of Dean's daughter, but he wasn't going to be the one who told him. He carefully plotted out what he was going to say though he had little time to do so. "I was telling the truth about the case. He went to the park to find out information. Then we talked about the ducks."

"The ducks."

"Yes."

"Why would he be interested in ducks?"

Castiel shrugged. "I do not know."

"What happened next?"

"He gave me his card and left. I flew back here. That's when Victor and his friends jumped me. I must have still had the card in my hand when they did it."

Another plausible excuse, and Castiel just hoped the King bought it.

"Sam and Dean Winchester have been a thorn in my side for far too long."

"Sam?" he asked. Was that was the little girl's name? A derivative of Samantha, perhaps. He held his breath as he waited for the answer, hoping that it wasn't. Dean had been rather reluctant to give him the name the other day, even after they were on friendlier terms.

"His younger brother. Haven't you ever heard of him?"

Castiel hadn't, and he suspected that was probably Dean's doing somehow. The man seemed to be over protective of those he loved and cared for. "Oh, I see."

Crowley was studying him again, and Castiel hated the invasive way it felt. He squirmed under the scrutiny, trying to focus on something else, but he knew that whatever the King was about to say, he wasn't going to like.

"Are you loyal to me, and me alone, Castiel?" he asked.

"Yes, Master. of course."

"How certain of that are you?"

 _If I had a chance to destroy you, I would,_ he thought to himself.

"I am 100% sure that I am loyal to you, My King."

"Then prove it."

Castiel looked back at him in question. "How?"

Crowley slowly sat back down in his chair, a grin appearing on his face. Castiel didn't like that at all. "I want you to kill Sam and Dean Winchester."

There it was. The point of no return. The lesson he would have to learn. Somehow Crowley knew that in that brief meeting with the hunter, Dean had gotten under Castiel's skin. if he refused now, Crowley would know the truth. If he went along with the command, Dean's child would be fatherless, and the world would be without a righteous man who had saved countless lives. But then again, maybe Castiel was just being paranoid, and Crowley had no idea.

"Well?"

"I'll do it." He stuffed the card back into his jacket. "Do you know where they'll be?"

"No, but you will." That evil, maniacal smirk was back on Crowley's face again.

"I don't understand."

"The card you have, genius. Call Dean and tell him that you're in trouble. Tell him some strange men with black eyes have kidnapped you."

A trap. Castiel nodded slowly. "And you assume he will come rescue me."

"Of course he will. That's what he does." Crowley materialized a glass of Craig into his hand. "Now go get it done, Castiel."

The demon slowly climbed off the bed, his limbs still hurting from the beating he had taken. His healing was slower than usual, and he just hoped it would be over soon. As he reached the door, Crowley stopped him.

"One more thing."

He didn't turn around, knowing he would like this even less than his assignment. "Yes, your Highness?"

"If you fail - either by dying at their hands or refusing to kill them, I will kill his darling little girl, and I'll do it slowly, too. Remember that if you try to be a bloody hero."

Castiel's throat felt dry as he nodded again. Dammit! Crowley already knew all about her! "Understood." It was all he could say.

He felt sickened at the thought of Crowley hurting the child. Now his hands were tied, just as the King had planned. He closed his eyes, picturing the park in Sioux Falls once more. He didn't know if Dean would still be there or not, but he would have to try. If he had to guess, the hunter would rather die anyway than let his daughter be killed. He slipped the card out of his pocket, as well as the phone Crowley had given him. He slowly dialed Dean's number, bile rising in his throat as he planned out what he was going to say. How had it come to this?

Dean picked up after two rings. "Yeah?"

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas? Is that you? Man I've been worried, I -"

"Dean, I'm in trouble!"

"Shit. Is it your asshat boyfriend? Tell me where you are!"

"I'm in Sioux Falls... I think. Some strange men with... black eyes have kidnapped me."

"Are there any markers around, Cas? Something that could help me find you?"

"They're monsters, Dean! I know it sounds crazy but they weren't... _human_."

"We're coming back home, okay? I will find you as soon as I can. Hang in there, Cas. Please!"

"I'll try, Dean - Oh no! They're coming!"

He clicked the phone off, that all too familiar guilt settling in his chest again. Even if he let the hunters kill him, Crowley would still kill _her_. What the hell was he going to do now?


	8. Panic

"What happened?" Sam asked worriedly as Dean tossed the phone on the seat between them.

"Cas - some bastard demons took him. Said they were 'men with black eyes'."

"What? Where is he?" Sam put his hands on the dash as his brother made a sudden U-turn in the middle of the intersection, earning angry honks and glares from the other drivers. Dean flipped them off and kept going.

"He thinks hes still in Sioux Falls. He sounded scared as hell." Dean slammed his hands on the steering wheel as the Impala flew back towards town. Luckily they had only been an hour away, but still. That hour could be the very difference between finding Castiel alive, and him becoming a demon's chewtoy.

"Relax, Dean. We'll find him."

"I fucking hope so. I swear if those assholes hurt him..." He trailed off, green eyes focused on the road like it had done him a personal injustice. It was times like these that he wished he had the ability to just fly to his destination. He still didn't understand why he was so concerned about the man's situation - they barely knew each other, after all, but something about him had gotten under Dean's skin. He just would never admit it out loud. "I wonder if his dickhead boyfriend had something to do with this."

"Hiring demons to kidnap Castiel? Seems a bit far-fetched," Sam said softly.

"I just knew something was wrong, Sammy," Dean ground out, his jaw clenched. "I could feel it in my gut."

"Hey, you gave him your number in case he needed help. And when he needed help, he called you." Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "That should tell you something."

"Shit. How the hell am I going to explain demons to him? Dude looks like some kind of tax accountant - I doubt he'd be able to even process it."

"We'll figure something out. Right now we just need to get to him before it's too late."

"How the fuck are we gonna do that?" Dean snapped. "I don't even know where to begin. His number was blocked when he called."

"Calm down, Dean. We can take the phone to Jody and have her track it down that way." Sam pulled out his own cell and pressed 5. "Jody? It's Sam. Listen we got a major problem we need help with. Yeah, we're fine, but a friend of Dean's isn't. He just called and said he had been abducted by 'men with black eyes'. Yeah, I know. We're about an hour away, although - " He gave a worried glance to his big brother. "It might be a lot less than that with the way Dean's hauling ass. At home or the station? Okay. See you soon." He ended the call and scrubbed a hand across his face. "She said to meet her at the station. It'll be faster to track it down there."

"Good."

"And for you to keep under the speed limit."

Dean shot him a glare. "I don't have time to obey laws."

Sam put a hand up. "Sorry, I'm just relaying a message." He was silent for a few minutes before he continued. "Why is this so important to you?"

"What? We're hunters. Saving people from black eyed assholes is what we do."

"You just seem more upset that it was him who got taken, that's all."

"No chick flick moments, Sammy."

"Dean - "

"Sam. I don't have time for romance or relationships. What did I just tell you not one hour ago? Now shut the hell up and help me think of places they would have taken him in the meantime."

Neither one of them were any closer to Castiel's location by the time they reached the police station (in a record 30 minutes) and Dean had barely parked the car before he was already out the door and heading inside the precinct. His adrenaline was surging now, his eagerness to find Castiel making his patience thin. This was why he fought so hard for people who had no idea the big bads existed. He liked keeping them in blissful ignorance, so they didn't have to draw salt lines around their windows, or demon traps under their welcome mats. Even if he hadn't been given that luxury, he didn't want to deny someone else the chance.

He found Jody in her office, still dressed in the casual jeans and yellow cashmere sweater she had worn that morning. Sam finally caught up to him, Bitch Face #12 firmly in place, but he said nothing out loud about Dean's actions. Dean quickly handed her the phone. "Here."

Jody took it from him with a sympathetic look and began working on tracking it, while Dean shuffled from one foot to another. "Did he give you any clues where he was?"

"No. He was more terrified about the fact that demons had grabbed him." Dean sighed, trying to calm down his frayed nerves. "But maybe he doesn't know that they're demons."

Jody nodded thoughtfully. "That's true. We could always tell him that they were under the influence of a very dangerous new drug?"

Sam and Dean exchanged glances. "Yeah, that might work," Dean agreed. "I just don't want the poor guy to have to worry about monsters on top of everything else he's been dealing with."

The sheriff raised a brow. "Everything else?"

"Yeah, he... I got the impression when I met him that he had an abusive boyfriend. Told me the guy was bad."

Jody sighed, giving a shake of her head. "Guys like that are just trying to make up for their small dicks."

The brothers both gaped at her. "Jody!" Sam exclaimed.

She waved him off. "Don't act so shocked. It's true. They've got so much built up rage that they compensate by being a controlling douchebag to the only ones who can actually stand them. Seen it a hundred times." She glanced up at Dean. "Why did he call you, though? You never told us about him before."

Dean got a little red-faced and rubbed the back of his neck. "Met him the other day when I took Dee to the park. We got to talking and I gave him my card in case he needed help. Though at the time I thought it would be for an asshole problem and not a demon one."

"Aren't they pretty much the same?" Sam asked, sitting down in a chair and stretching out his legs.

Dean huffed a laugh, despite the tense situation. "You ain't lyin', little brother."

An eternity passed while they waited for Jody to track the phone. Dean couldn't stop the erratic beating of his heart as he paced, his eyes darting out the window every now and again as if he expected Castiel to come walking up or something. It made no sense to him, but he could still hope for a miracle. Didn't they deserve one after all this time?

"I think I got something."

The brothers gathered around the computer, staring at the screen.

"What is it?"

"If this is correct - which I hope it is - then your friend is about a block away from the park," Jody said, pointing at the blinking light. "Do you know where that is?"

Dean studied for a moment, then recognition lit up his face. "Yes. That's Mrs. Thompson's bakery. Why the hell would they hold him there?"

"I don't know. But you better get going. If you need any uni's then call me right away," Jody was saying, but Dean was already heading out the door.

"Sure will, Jody. And thanks," Sam said, getting up from his chair to quickly follow his brother. "Sorry."

"Be careful!" she called after them.

Dean jumped in the Impala and started the engine. Sam had barely gotten into the car before Dean was speeding down the street towards the bakery, anticipation for a potential battle causing his heart to race. He was also worried that they would be too late, and Castiel would be dead by the time they got there. He couldn't fail this, not now. Not when Castiel had trusted him to save him.

Wait a second... Why didn't he just call the cops?

The thought vanished as soon as he had it, and he once again focused on the mission ahead. Saving Castiel was what was important right now.

They drove by the park and he briefly glanced at it, his eyes landing on the bench where they met just a week before. The ducks waddled around, as if looking for their caretaker in the trench coat. With any luck, Castiel would be back on that bench throwing breadcrumbs to his heart's delight by the day's end. The bakery appeared to the left and he parked a few doors down in an alleyway, not wanting to raise any suspicion from the demons that could potentially be inside.

The brothers silently climbed out of the car, going to the trunk and removing their weapons. With a quick glance around, they headed towards the back of the building. It was a silent, synchronized dance with the two of them. They had been doing this gig for so long that they could communicate without a single word. Sam kept a look out while Dean focused on where they were going. When they got to the door, Sam picked the lock with quick precision and they slipped inside, not really knowing what to expect. They were greeted by darkness when they stepped in the kitchen, a single flickering light bulb the only illumination in the place. Sam pulled out a flashlight while Dean kept his shotgun held high, just in case some pissant demon decided to surprise them.

With a nod to each other, they slowly began looking around the small building. Luckily, it only took a few minutes, but with no signs of demons or Castiel, Dean had begun to lose hope. Until his brother pointed out that they still hadn't looked inside the bathroom.

Slowly, Sam pulled open the door, and Dean felt his heart leap to his throat at what was inside.

No. Had they been too late? Castiel was laying motionless on the ground, covered in blood, his clothes ripped and torn, a horrific wound on the side of his head.

Dean ran towards him, falling to his knees and shaking the dark haired man. "Cas! Wake up! Please!"


	9. Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters

Castiel walked for a long time once he made the call to Dean. His heart felt heavy in his chest, though he had no need to use it. The only thing heavier than that useless organ was probably the ever present guilt he wore like another layer of clothing. If he wasn't already a demon damned to Hell, he had no doubt that he would burn for this.

He stopped in front of a bakery that appeared to be closed for the day, and debated if this would be a good place to let Dean make his last stand. He didn't think Dean deserved to be struck down in a dirty abandoned warehouse like so many of his kin seemed to prefer. His eyes trailed over the various cakes and pies on display in the window, briefly wondering if the hunter liked pie. Castiel himself had never had it before. Well, it didn't matter now, he supposed. That was a conversation they would never be able to have, especially during a fight to the death.

He teleported inside, the sweet scent of baked goods hitting his senses and he just took a moment to inhale it, enjoying the temporary reprieve from his own dark thoughts. Maybe he would take up baking as a hobby - not that he needed to eat, of course, but just as a way to do something with his hands other than kill people. He slowly pulled out his phone and dialed Crowley's number. 666. It was so cliche' it was almost laughable.

Crowley answered immediately, as if he had been waiting for his call. "This is the King."

"It's Castiel. I called Dean Winchester and told him I was in trouble."

"And?"

"And, he is on his way here."

There was a pregnant pause. "How did he sound?"

Castiel rolled his eyes at the question. "He seemed to be upset."

"Excellent. You did well, Castiel."

Castiel resisted the urge to roll his eyes again. "Thank you. Do you... want me to bring you the body?" he asked hesitantly.

Occasionally over the years Crowley had requested his target's head on a platter - literally. He sincerely hoped that this wasn't one of those times, because it would be hard enough killing the human who had shown him kindness the other day, much less decapitating him and presenting him to Crowley like some prized trophy. That's if he could even bring himself to strike the first blow...

_He would have killed you if he knew you were a demon!_

His own voice echoed tauntingly in his head. He knew it was true, of course. Had Dean known what he was, the hunter would have killed him right then and there. He certainly wouldn't have been interested in leaving a card in case Castiel needed help. He needed to just get the job done and move on. At least he would know Dean's child would be safe. Dean Winchester was a target now, nothing more. He couldn't sacrifice his own life just to save two random hunters, right?

"Castiel?"

He had forgotten that he was still on the phone with the King, and forced himself to focus on the topic at hand. "Sorry. I was... plotting out how I'm going to kill him."

"This is why you're my favorite. Always thinking about the next soul you're going to destroy..." Crowley sounded like a proud father praising his child for walking for the first time. "Did you hear what I said before you zoned out?"

"Sorry. Please repeat it."

Crowley sighed. "I said that I want you to leave their bodies there once you've killed them. I'll send some of my minions to collect them for me."

"What do you want me to do after that?"

"Do whatever you want. Go fly a kite, watch some birds, kill some nuns if that's your fetish. Just get it done."

Kill some nuns? Castiel frowned, knowing that was a jab at his expense. "Yes, Master."

"Tell me where you are." Castiel glanced around, trying to find a name to this establishment. "Mrs. Thompson's Sweets and Treats, in Sioux Falls, South Dakota."

"Fantastic." Crowley abruptly hung up the phone.

Castiel stared at the electronic contraption in his hand for a moment, before pocketing it again. Well, he supposed all he could do now is wait.

He began walking towards the back of the bakery to form a plan, when the three demons from the other day suddenly appeared in front of him. He halted in his tracks, eying each of them with suspicion. Had they followed him here to finish the job? They really did always manage to have terrible timing.

"What are you doing here?" he asked slowly. "Sam and Dean Winchester haven't even arrived yet."

If his heart could beat, it would be close to bursting out of his chest right now. He hoped that they had merely gotten overzealous and shown up too soon to collect the still warm corpses.

Victor cracked his knuckles as he moved closer. "Oh, we know that, Angel, but the boss figured it would be better to kill 3 birds with one stone."

Castiel eyed the other two, who smirked viscously at Victor's side. "What's going on? I doubt very much that he authorized this. I'm going to call him back right now and -"

"Oh, he did," Damon replied, his eyes flashing to black. "In fact, this was all his idea."

"I don't understand," Castiel said, slowly backing up. Maybe if he was able to teleport out of here in time, he could escape another beating. As it was, he didn't think he would actually fare too well against the hunters, a fact that had been circling his mind all morning amidst the guilt and regret. Realization hit him as he thought back to the events of that day. Crowley _knew_   that he was in no condition to fight anyone, much less two experienced hunters. So why had he demanded that Castiel take care of him immediately? Had Crowley anticipated his failure? But then, why send them here before the Winchesters even arrived?

"Of course you don't," Victor said, his tongue lewdly sliding from his mouth and licking his lips. "You're too stupid and naive to think that anyone would turn against you."

"I wasn't surprised when you did," Castiel insisted, not liking the fact that Victor was right. "I knew that eventually you would come for me, and you didn't disappoint."

"We never hid the fact that we hated you," Victor replied with a shrug. "Now Crowley on the other hand - you thought that you were his favorite pet. His forever lover."

The other two demons snickered, and Castiel took another step back. He closed his eyes, trying to picture the park. He just had to get out of here quick enough and call Dean before - He was stuck. His eyes snapped open and he looked around, panic filling his entire being at still seeing the pink walls of the bakery and not the duck pond or laughing children. "What have you done?"

"Just a simple spell, courtesy of my King." Victor grinned. "You won't be able to leave until we do... not that you're actually going to be leaving. So you better strap in, Angel baby, because you're about to go on a wild ride."

"The Winchesters," Castiel breathed, slowly dropping the angel blade from his sleeve. "They will be here soon. How will you fight all of us off?"

Victor laughed, gesturing to the former angel. "All of _us_ , he says. I guess Crowley was right. You really had no intention of killing them, did you?"

Castiel realized his mistake, and tried to think quickly of a way out. "Yes, I did. But how can I finish my task if you're going to attack me first?" he told them, trying hard to back-peddle.

"Don't you get it? The King wants you dead. You have become too much of a liability. A problem that needs to be dealt with."

Castiel could feel the cold steel of the blade in his palm now, readying it to attack when he got an opening. He just had to keep them talking. "I do everything he asks. I always come when he calls."

Victor got in his face. "You are weak, Angel! You mourn the ones you kill. You are infatuated with a human who showed you kindness after talking to him for five minutes!"

Infatuation? How was that even possible? Maybe it was because Dean was the only one who had shown him kindness in years... Had he really become so weak that a simple show of compassion would cause him to rethink everything? Perhaps the demons were right.

"You're wrong," Castiel replied, meeting the other man's void black eyes. "I would have done it with no hesitation."

"If only your ability to lie was as strong as your conviction to deny your love for humanity. Everyone can see right through you." Victor tapped him on the chest. "Don't worry, we will kill your human quickly."

A small mercy. Castiel wondered if they would actually keep that promise.

"And after you kill the Winchesters and myself?"

"We are going to take a little trip to their house, and kill little Rhapsody Winchester and her grandparents. Now _them_ , we will take our time with," Victor continued, ignoring Castiel's protests.

Castiel felt rage surge through him at that. The child was even more innocent than her father was, and he would die before he allowed them to do that. "I won't let that you hurt her," he snarled, swinging the blade towards Victor.

The blade cut across the demon's stomach and he screamed so loud the lights flickered and popped. Castiel tried to use the small distraction to run away, his own injuries making his escape slow and hindering. He had to get out somehow - he had to warn Dean. Even if it meant the hunter would find out what he was, he _had_ to do the right thing for once.

Unfortunately, the other demons grabbed him before he could get too far and shoved him down, his elbows hitting the floor hard, the blade spinning out of his hand and landing a few feet away. "Going somewhere?" Damon sneered, kicking him a few times in his already bruised ribs for measure.

Castiel cried out, trying desperately to reach the blade. Rodrick stepped on his hand, and he winced, the heel catching one of his bruises just right. He scrambled to escape, punching and kicking anything that he could, his blue eyes focused on the blade that would grant him freedom and save Rhapsody's life.

"It's over for you now," Victor seethed, grabbing Castiel by the hair and yanking him backwards. "Now I'm going to torture that family for weeks until they beg me for death, and guess what?" He shoved his face a few inches from Castiel's. "It will all be your fault."

More guilt. More blame. What else was new?

Victor slammed Castiel's head down on the ground a few times, the sickening crunch of his own skull hitting the linoleum echoing in his ears. He opened one eye up, and saw the blade sitting a few feet away through his hazy vision. Damon was standing in between him and his salvation, and Rodrick was holding his other arm tight. This was it. He had failed Dean. He nearly laughed at the irony that he had come here to kill the hunter just so he could save Dean's child. And now he had damned them all. What a cruel joke of fate.

_It's nothing less than you deserve._

One more smash of his head on the ground, and he was suddenly being roughly dragged away. He could barely keep his eyes open long enough to see where they were taking him. The pain in his head was the worst he had ever experienced, even more than the original beating they had given him. Perhaps they were right all along... he was weak. How had he not been able to take on three petty demons? He had led entire garrisons of angels once, a proud warrior of God who could have smited an entire town out of existence if he wanted.

Oh, if he could only do that now...

And yet here he was, a broken mess. A demon shunned and outcasted by his own kind. An angel thrown from Heaven for disobedience and free thinking. He was no better as a demon than when he was an angel, when his whole family stood by silently while he was thrown into Perdition. The sudden rumble of a car engine gave them pause, and he could hear footsteps running to look out the window.

"They're here! I just saw them drive by!" Damon said, a tremor of worry in his voice.

"Shit. I didn't think they'd be here so soon."

Someone walked back towards him and stood there for a beat. Was this it?

"Toss him in the bathroom. We'll wait until they come in here looking for him, then kill them all."

"Got it."

He heard the sound of a door opening, and then hands were lifting him up again. With one great swing of their arms, he was thrown into the small bathroom, landing hard on the floor. He heard the snap of his arm as it broke, before he felt another rush of pain course through his body.

"Let's go."

The three demons retreated, and as Castiel laid there, alone in the tiny room, he felt darkness overtake him. He prayed it was death.


	10. It's Hard to Do Nothing

There were so many parts of Heaven that Gabriel couldn't even name them all.

As one of the oldest angels in the whole host, he had explored every nook and cranny, and memorized every tree and shrub that existed. He had touched every flower, and swam in every brook. Despite all that, there was nothing that could compare to Elvis Presley's personal Heaven. Between the beautiful waterfalls, lush greenery and the ability to listen to the man himself sing, it was truly magical.

Today, he sat by the water's edge, staring out at the vast lake that encompassed it, his thoughts full of the week before when he had seen Castiel for the first time in a century. His little brother hadn't changed much - except for the stench of evil and decay that surrounded him which had made Gabriel's skin crawl. He should have expected his grace to recoil so vehemently against the close proximity to the demon, but expecting something and experiencing it  are two different things entirely. He had felt his heart shatter at the knowledge that the once warm feelings he got from Castiel were now fear and dread. The tiny amount of grace inside the former angel was almost entirely burnt out now.

Gabriel thought it was a horrible joke by their Father that he had intentionally left it there, a subtle reminder of who Castiel once was. Like the rose in _Beauty and the Beast_ , that grace would be snuffed out when it was too late. Castiel had been given a time frame to redeem himself, one that he didn't even know that he had. By the way things were going, his brother would remain a demon forever. And so Gabriel mourned, listening to Elvis sing one of his sadder songs, the lollipop in his hand forgotten.

Gabriel had wanted to tell Castiel the truth so badly when they met on the bench the other day, but he knew he would just end up like his brother. Their Father could be cruel and unforgiving, and sometimes the archangel wondered what the ultimate plan was. Had what Castiel done to earn himself a pass to demonhood really been so bad? His little brother was the kindest, most caring angel he had ever known, and now he was losing him. Maybe even forever. He didn't know if he would be able to survive it when it finally came to pass.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of pine and flowers in bloom, a heavy ache deep inside his chest. The decision to see Castiel after all that time had been a whim, really. Gabriel had witnessed the hesitation when the demon was sent to kill the hunter named Aaron, and wondered if the time had finally come. Was Castiel going to be redeemed soon? Was he going to be allowed to return to Heaven? Gabriel didn't call it home - It hadn't been that for a very long time, but maybe with Castiel back it would start to feel like it again.

The archangel had been worried when he hid behind a nearby tree and saw Dean Winchester approach Castiel. The urge to protect his little brother was strong, and it had taken everything inside him to not jump out and strike the hunter down. When it seemed Dean had no idea who or what Castiel was, and had no intentions of hurting him, Gabriel reluctantly flew back to Heaven as Castiel had requested. He wondered if he should have just stayed away in the first place. It might have been easier to deal with the knowledge that Castiel had fallen completely, and Gabriel didn't have to stand by and watch it happen. Out of sight, out of mind. But Gabriel knew that was bullshit. He would still feel it the moment the grace left Castiel, and he would still mourn his brother as if he had died.

_Death would have been a mercy._

He closed his eyes, listening to the strum of the guitar and the melodic voice that sang along to the chords. This was why he never got attached to anyone. This was why he chose to have a different partner every night and pull deadly pranks on anyone who opposed him. It was the only way he could deal with the pain of losing his brother.

He nearly fell off the bench at the sudden influx of anger and pain that swept through his grace. It wasn't very strong, nearly inexistent even, but he could still feel it, and he quickly leapt to his feet, trying to find the source of the distress. He scanned all his brothers and sisters, carefully checking each one to see who was hurt. Everyone in Heaven seemed to be fine, so he flew down to the earth, back into that park where he had met Castiel the week before. The pulse of panic and fear was stronger now, and it was so overwhelming that he had to lean against a huge oak tree for support.

 _Castiel._ His brother was in trouble.

He spread his six huge golden wings without a second thought, ready to take flight, until Balthazar appeared in front of him. Normally, he would have been happy to see the only other angel he was close to, but he knew why Balthazar was there. He gritted his teeth and pushed the other angel away. "Unless you're here to help, get the hell out of my way."

"Can't let you do that, Gabe," Balthazar said, his blue eyes filled with worry. "You have to let this play out."

"Are you kidding me?" Gabriel's wings fluttered in agitation. "I swear I will impale you with your own blade if you don't move!"

Balthazar's gaze softened as he regarded the shorter angel. "Please. As much as I want to help... you know we can't."

"Can't, or won't?" Gabriel seethed, feeling his patience wearing thin. The pain coursed stronger through him now, and both men winced and doubled over at the intense emotions they were experiencing through their grace. "Castiel... they're going to kill him."

Balthazar straightened after a moment, putting a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. "Our Father won't let us interfere and you know it. You're lucky he hasn't killed you already for your little meeting the other day!"

"Talking to someone is hardly _blasphemy_!" Gabriel ground out, still trying to step around the other angel.

Balthazar grabbed him and for a moment, the two of them wrestled against each other - one trying to desperately rescue his baby brother, and the other trying to save the one he still had. "But helping him _would_ be!" Balthazar yelled. His eyes were full of desperation as he squeezed Gabriel's arms tightly. "Don't you think I want to help him, too? Don't you think I want to rush in there and smite whoever is hurting him and drag him back home?!"

Gabriel shrugged him off, his wings fluffed up and angry. "You don't seem to give a fuck whether he lives or dies. You haven't even spoken about him since he was thrown out!"

"Like you have? If I recall, Dear Brother, you were standing right next to me, just as silent as I was while Father tossed him into the pit!"

"My guilt over that day won't help Castiel right now!" Gabriel shoved Balthazar back. "I am an _archangel_ and I could wipe out this whole town if I wanted, you included, so don't push me!"

Balthazar stood there silently, stuffing his hands in his pockets and wincing as another flood of pain trickled through their grace. "I can't... I can't lose another brother, Gabriel. Even one as annoying as you are. If you go in there and save him, you will just damn yourself. I already have to live everyday with the knowledge that I didn't even try to save Cassie when he needed it the most - please don't make me lose you, too."

"What am I supposed to do?" Gabriel asked, his voice broken, his golden wings wilting down behind his back. "Just sit here and endure his murder? I can _feel_ him, Balthazar. Every single blow to the head, every single spike of fear he has... "

"And you don't think I can't?" Balthazar spat out. "Don't you think it kills me inside to know I can't help him?"

Gabriel clenched a fist. "How can I live with myself if I just stand here and do nothing? How can _you_?"

"Like we always have, I suppose," Balthazar replied, the guilt over that day still weighing heavily on his shoulders. "With alcohol and debauchery. After all, what's one more terrible regret, hm?"

"This isn't a joke!" Gabriel roared, hauling back and punching the other angel in the face. Balthazar reeled back on his heels, and retaliated with his own punch to Gabriel's jaw. For a moment, both of them wordlessly stared at each other, their own torrid emotions mixing with those from their little brother.

"All we can do, is hope that one day we will get the chance to redeem ourselves to Castiel," Balthazar said finally.

Gabriel's shoulders drooped in resignation. "I think in some ways, we deserve a trip downstairs more than he did."

"That's probably true, because you know if it was Cassie standing there and not us, he would already be in that building saving our asses."

"He's too good for Heaven," Gabriel whispered, falling to his knees as he could feel the repeated crack of his brother's head against a floor. Tears began to stream down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to focus on anything but the horrific scene which would cause him to lose his brother forever. "This isn't right... I failed him again."

Balthazar leaned down next to him, wrapping him in a hug, his silver blue wings fanning out and covering them both. "I'm sorry, Gabe, for whatever it's worth. I just can't let you burn for disobeying our Father."

The two sat there for a long while, even after the emotions from Castiel had stopped. Neither one of them could feel his grace anymore, and all they could assume was that their brother was gone. When they finally looked up, they realized they were no longer in the park, but in the autistic man's eternal Sunday, the rainbow colored kite flying smoothly overhead, the sun shining brightly down on them. Castiel's favorite place in Heaven.

Gabriel broke apart from Balthazar then, spreading his wings and flying anywhere but there, tears still falling down his face, his heart feeling like it had been ripped from his chest. It was bad enough when someone stood by and did nothing while someone they cared for was in trouble.

It was utterly repulsive when they did it all over again.


	11. The Past is Ruby Red

Dean felt sick to his stomach as he flicked on the light and saw what a mess Castiel actually was. It looked like the poor guy had went 15 rounds with Muhammad Ali and a meat grinder, and lost horribly.

The hunter sank to the floor next to the unconscious man, whose dark hair was matted against his battered face by blood and sweat. Dean gently shook Castiel, worried that even the slightest movement would cause him more pain than he was in, but desperate to find any signs of life. After there was no response, Dean then leaned down close to the other man's chest, trying to determine if Castiel even had a heartbeat, but all he could hear was the rush of blood in his ears while his own heart beat erratically.

"Shit, Sammy. Were we too late? Look what those bastards did to him!" Dean was pissed. He may not know Castiel very well at all, but no one deserved this. He slammed an angry fist against the wall, punching a hole through the cheap plaster.

Sam was standing guard, his gun aimed at the door in case someone was stupid enough to walk through it. He glanced worriedly at his brother. "Do you think we should call the hospital or take him to Bobby's? If this was the work of demons, he might not be safe -"

"I know, Sam!" Dean shouted, then took a deep breath. "I _know_ , okay? Just let me think!" Dean sat on the grimy, blood splattered floor, rubbing a hand over his face and trying to decide what to do. "His injuries look too bad to just patch him up with a first aid kit. He needs real help." He swore a few more times, green eyes scanning over the man worriedly. He should have tried to find Castiel sooner. Maybe if he had tracked him down...

"See if he has some I.D. or something," Sam suggested, looking back towards the doorway. "He might have some family who's looking for him."

"Hey, yeah. He did mention a brother when I talked to him before." Dean started rifling through the man's pockets, pausing when he saw the business card he had given Castiel. "Dammit. I hope this isn't what got him into this mess."

"Dean."

"Shut it, Sam. Let me do this." Dean continued searching Castiel, pulling out an old flip phone and setting it aside. "That's weird. He doesn't have any -" Dean was thrown back as Castiel suddenly sat up, blue eyes bloodshot and terrified, a strangled cry ripping from his throat. His gaze immediately landed on Dean, and that just caused him to look even more frightened.

"Dean! No, you can't be here! Get out now!" Castiel croaked, struggling to get to his feet.

"Whoa, buddy, hold on," Dean told him, trying to keep the battered man from hurting himself further. "Who did this to you?"

"You and Sam need to get out of here!" Castiel said, more insistently now. He pushed Dean away. "You're in danger! This was a trap!" It was clear that every movement hurt him, but he seemed more interested in Sam and Dean's well-being.

The brothers exchanged glances, and Dean felt his blood run cold. Who the hell had been stupid enough to try to trap them? "Cas, can you walk?" Dean asked, ignoring his friend's pleas for them to leave.

Castiel looked up at him, sadness in that gaze. "Please. I don't want either of you to get hurt because of me."

"Let me bottom line it for you... I'm not leaving here without you," Dean told him with determination.

"We can take you somewhere safe," Sam added, slipping further inside the bathroom so he could help. "We're not going to let you die because of us, either."

"No, you both have to -" Castiel began, but he froze in his tracks, staring behind the two brothers with wide eyes. "No... it's too late."

Dean immediately spun around, pulling his gun out of his pants and aiming it at the newcomers. There were three men standing there with smirks on their faces, watching the scene with interest. One of them looked to be some kind of biker, with red hair and a beard, while the other two were Japanese businessmen. Not exactly the type that generally ran around together. When their eyes flicked black though, he sighed.

Demons. Of course.

"Hello, ladies," Dean taunted, slipping a grin onto his face. "What brings you around here this evening?"

"My buddies and I were in the mood for some hunter stew," the biker demon said with a wink. His two pals laughed like it was the most hilarious thing they had ever heard.

Sam just gave them an unimpressed bitch face.

"Hunter stew? Really?" Dean threw his hands up and looked at his brother. "I think the demons get less funny every season."

"Sure seems like it," Sam agreed, his gun trained on one of the Japanese guys.

"I see you found our little trap," Ginger Beard continued, gesturing to Castiel. "Did you like what we did to...ruffle his feathers?" More laughter. These guys were pathetic.

"Oh, I get it," Dean nodded. "You're the assholes that thought it would be totally awesome to kidnap an innocent guy and then beat him nearly to death. Good job, Pal."

"Innocent," one of the other demons laughed. "You _really_ have no idea, do you Winchester?"

The older hunter gave a shrug. "Hey, none of us are innocent. Even I'm not. Do you have any idea how many of your kind I've killed?"

The demons snarled in response. "You will pay for that!"

"Dean, please," Castiel whispered, yanking on the hunter's green military jacket. "They _will_ kill you and then... your child. They told me so."

Those words then seemed to ignite a rage in both the brothers that caused fear to flash across all the demon's faces. Sam and Dean were infamous for a reason, after all, and it was a pretty stupid idea to earn their attention in the first place for simply killing other people.

It was suicide to earn it for threatening their family.

Within moments, Sam and Dean had started shooting, the salt rounds firing into the borrowed vessels with a precision that came from years of on the job training. Sam pulled out Ruby's knife and started stabbing whatever came near, the blade landing in the chest of one of the Japanese men first. The body flickered and fizzled, before crumpling to the floor. Another body went down when Dean ducked and Sam swept his arm over his brother and stabbed Ginger Beard next. The last demon started to smoke out of his meatsuit, but Dean pulled another gun out of the strap on his leg, a special little pistol that was filled with demon trap bullets. He aimed for the demon's chest and fired. The black smoke flew back inside the man, his eyes wide and terrified at his plight.

"Kill me," the demon begged, putting his hands up in surrender. "Please. If you don't, _he_ will for failing him."

Dean chuckled, slipping the gun back into his thigh holster. "And who is this 'he' that you're so worried about, fuckhead? Hmm?"

The sounds of sirens wailing in the distance were heard, and Sam grabbed Dean's arm. "Come on. We have to get out of here."

"Help me get Cas into the backseat, then I'll put this asshat into my trunk. We'll interrogate him later."

Sam and Dean gently eased Castiel into the Impala, laying him across the seat and covering him with a pink blanket, one that must have been Rhapsody's. Dean ran back in, roughly yanking the remaining demon by his shirt collar and then gracelessly shoving him into the trunk of his Baby. He was less than thrilled that everyone was covered in blood, including his car, and it would take forever to get it off the interior. He'd worry about that later, though. There were more important things to worry about now.

With a roar of the engine, he sped off towards Bobby's, his adrenaline racing, praying that the police wouldn't find them before he could get to safety. A nearly dead man who had fallen unconscious again, and another guy in the trunk would be pretty hard to explain. He knew Jody had held the cops off as long as she could, so he didn't blame her for the sudden heat.

When he finally saw the familiar sight of their home in view, he breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't completely over, though, and so he braced himself for whatever was going to happen next.


	12. Interrogation of a Demon Rat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Torture, abuse, etc

It had been a long time since Sam saw his older brother so upset.

In fact, the last time Dean was like this had been almost 8 years ago, when their father had sold his soul to save Dean's life - something he knew the older Winchester had never gotten over. The only thing that had kept Dean from going off the deep end was the baby that arrived a few days later.

Life with Rhapsody hadn't been easy at first. Dean was caught between mourning for their father (even if John Winchester _was_ an asshole who took away their childhood) and trying to handle a crying baby at all hours of the night. Within a week, Dean was frazzled and worn, dark circles appearing under his eyes and snapping at anyone who got too close. It was nearly two whole months before he finally allowed Sam to help him, and the brothers took turns getting up when Rhapsody needed to be fed, changed, or just held. Occasionally even Bobby stepped in, when the Winchesters were so exhausted that they fell asleep wherever they landed for hours at a time. They assisted Bobby with the hunter's network in the three years they had waited to get back to hunting. Their surrogate father never once pushed them to get back out there, and simply told anyone who happened to be near a case to get to work. If it was Sam and Dean that was closest, then they'd quickly go handle it and come back as soon as they could, leaving Bobby to watch over his new grandchild.

They soon found an easy routine, and the first time the brothers went farther than the state line for a case, Dean spent the entire night sitting in bed and talking gibberish to Rhapsody on the phone until they both fell asleep. Sam often woke up to find Dean leaned back against the motel headboard, mouth open and drooling, his cell clutched in his hand with the sound of a gurgling, happy baby on the other end. But Dean wasn't the only one who cherished that little red haired child. Sam knew from the moment he held her in his arms, that he would do anything to protect her against anyone stupid enough to try to cause her harm. When Castiel revealed that the demons were after his family, Sam had felt pure, wrathful _rage_ surge inside him, and knew that if his big brother wasn't able to take care of the problem, _he_  sure the hell would, and God help anyone who stood in his way.

The two of them helped Castiel get set up in a spare room, gently laying the unconscious man on the blue quilt that Jody had sewn for Dean last Christmas. They carefully took off his shoes and socks, as well as the trench coat which looked to be far beyond saving. Bobby came in a few minutes later with a first aid kit and some washcloths, and the brothers headed out to the garage, where they had the demon they captured waiting on ice for a good old Winchester interrogation.

Neither Sam or Dean was in the mood to put up with the usual games demons tended to play, so they paused before they went inside, and gave each other a pointed look. "This asshole is going to talk, one way or another," Dean said, jaw set in determination.

Sam knew exactly what that meant. He generally disliked using torture as a way to get information, but in this case, he would make an exception. "Whatever it takes. Him and his friends threatened Rhapsody."

Dean nodded. "Just want to make sure we're on the same page, Sammy, because things are going to get ugly."

"I got your back, Dean."

They headed into the garage, loudly pulling the sliding door shut behind them. The demon's eyes got wide as they approached, brown flicking to black. Sam almost felt sorry for the guy, who had no idea what he was in for. Dean stretched his arms wide, rolling his head from side to side and cracking his neck.

"Well now. It seems we got a problem here."

"Sure do, Dean," Sam replied, leaning against one of Bobby's tool-chests.

The demon swiveled his gaze from Sam to Dean. "Look, man, I had nothing to do with it. I swear!"

Dean began to pace slowly in front of the man in the chair. "I've heard that song and dance before, pal. You demons are all the same. 'It wasn't me', or 'you got the wrong guy'."

"Don't forget, 'the Devil made me do it'," Sam offered with a smirk.

Dean pointed a finger at his brother and winked. "That one's a classic."

"What do you want with me?" the demon spat out, seemingly trying to sound tough, despite his current predicament.

Dean slowly turned back to him, the amusement sliding from his face. "I want you to talk, you son of a bitch. Tell me _everything_."

The demon looked smug at that. "You'll have to be more specific -"

The older Winchester was suddenly an inch from the demon's face, anger flashing through his green eyes. "Tell me who the fuck hired you to grab Cas and try to trap us! Tell me why someone wants to go after my kid! Tell me why the fuck I shouldn't just torture you slowly for days and days until there's nothing left of you but your fucking teeth!"

Fear skittered across the demon's expression again, and the black eyes turned back to brown. "I told you before - if I tell you anything he will kill me, so you might as well take your little knife and end me now."

Sam walked closer to the two of them, leaning down so he could look the man in the eye. "Don't you get it?  _We_ are the ones you should be afraid of," he said dangerously. "We know a hundred ways to kill your kind, but we also know a thousand more to make you scream and beg for a merciful death. You threatened my niece, you piece of shit. My _blood_. So answer the fucking question, or we will start with number one."

Dean chuckled lowly and glanced over at his brother. The bastard could be scary as hell when he wanted to be. 

"Okay, okay!" The demon swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Just promise me you'll kill me afterwards, because otherwise he will do much worse."

"First off, who is this 'he' you keep talking about?" Dean asked, taking a few steps back and crossing his arms.

"Crowley."

"Who's that?" Sam questioned, raising a brow.

The demon gave them both a 'what the fuck?" kind of look. "Seriously? How have you losers been hunters for so long without knowing who Crowley is?"

"Watch it, asshole," Dean warned. "Just tell us already."

The demon sighed. "He is the King of Hell. My boss. Every demon's boss."

The brothers both glanced at each other in question. "The only ruler of Hell we've ever heard of is Lucifer," Dean said. "How'd Crowley get the gig?"

"Lucifer is stuck in a cage in Hell," the demon continued. "A cage which is set on a timer -"

"What?" Sam interjected. "You mean it's going to open someday? When?"

The demon looked very put out by the interruption. "Do you want to hear this or not, Sasquatch?"

Sam shot him a glare, but Dean put a hand out. "Just tell us, asshat."

"Well, from what I understand it's something like... 'And when the truest angel of the purest heart sheds the blood of the Righteous Man, Lucifer the Morning Star will rise from his cage and walk the Earth once more'," the demon quoted.

"The hell does that mean?" Dean asked, glancing to his brother in question. "Angels don't exist, do they?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. I've never heard anything like that before."

"It's a lesser known prophesy in the bible," the demon replied in a snarky tone. "Though apparently you two need to brush up on your religious studies."

"Okay, now why is this Crowley mook so interested in me and my family?"

The man in the chair shrugged. "My orders were to kill Castiel and then Sam and Dean Winchester. After that, come to your house and kill the rest of your family, including your darling little - "

Dean punched him in the face and the chair nearly tipped over. "Tell me why you were sent to kill us!"

"I don't know!"

Another punch to the face.

"Tell me! Surely he gave you some reason for wanting us dead!"

The demon spat at Dean, his lip bloody and busted open. "I told you I _don't know_! Crowley tells us what to do and we do it, no questions asked. Fuck. What is it with you hunters anyway?"

"So you just follow his orders like a good little bitch, huh?" Dean sneered, wiping the bloody spittle off his face.

"You would too, if you knew him!"

Sam sighed, motioning for Dean to follow him, and they walked towards the door. "Do you think he's telling the truth?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Dean raked a hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't know what to believe at this point, Sammy. He tells us some weird fairy tale about angels and Lucifer, then has no clue why the actual King of Hell wants our heads? It doesn't add up."

Sam glanced towards the demon again. "Well demons exist, Dean, why not angels?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Why not? How about we throw in some unicorns too, and giant talking teddy bears while we're at it?"

"Dean."

"I'm just saying. It sounds like he's bullshitting us and I don't got time for this. I need to know if I need to be worried about other black eyed assholes comin' after my kid."

"I agree. Let's find out everything he knows, and then kill him. We'll get Bobby to set up more demon traps around the house so they can't get inside."

The older Winchester nodded. "Dammit, Sam... I didn't want this for Dee."

"I know. Me either."

"Whatever it takes?"

"Whatever it takes."

The brothers turned back to their hostage, who looked terrified all over again at their sudden resolve. "Let's do this."

It was a good thing that Bobby lived in the middle of nowhere, because someone might have called the police for all the screams that were coming from Singer Salvage that day.


	13. Incipient

_"You're dying, Castiel."_

_The blue eyed demon startled, glancing next to him on the bench. "Gabriel. I told you not to come back here!"_

_His brother gave a shrug, draping an arm across the back of the seat. "Since when do I ever listen?"_

_Castiel sighed, turning back to the water and tossing more breadcrumbs for the ducks and geese that had gathered. "And I'm not dying. I'm just... hurt." "_

_You would be dead if you were human." Gabriel looked sadly at him. "But you're barely alive as a demon, too."_

_Castiel clenched his jaw, the baggie in his hand shaking. "Don't speak to me as if you care, Brother. You didn't come to my rescue when I needed. I **know** you felt me. I know you could sense my impending mortality." _

_"_ _I couldn't." Gabriel's voice broke. "I couldn't."_

_"I don't believe you." Castiel busied himself petting the soft feathers of a nearby duck. "Just leave me alone."_

_"No." Gabriel put a hand on his trench coated arm. "I am here to warn you."_

_"_ _About what? My death? Don't you think I'm well aware that I'm dying?"_

_"It doesn't have to be that way," Gabriel pressed. "You could redeem yourself as Father wants. Come back to the host. Get your grace back and heal yourself before it's too late."_

_"_ _It is too late, Gabriel." Castiel gave him a wane smile. "I was doomed from the moment our Father cast me out."_

_Gabriel looked close to tears and stared at the pond. "That's not what the warning was about."_

_"Then what?"_

_"_ _Your grace - what little of it you have left - is on a timer."_

_Castiel paused. "What do you mean?"_

_"Father purposely left it there. A failsafe, maybe, but also a ticking time bomb. If you don't redeem yourself by the time your grace runs out, then you will... you will become a demon forever."_

_The baggie dropped from Castiel's hand as he stared at Gabriel in shocked disbelief. "What?" he whispered._

_"_ _I shouldn't even be here, telling you this." Gabriel clenched his fists together. "I thought you were **dead** , Cassie. Balthazar and I couldn't feel you anymore." _

_"What about my grace?"_

_Gabriel looked him in the eyes. "If you don't change - if you become anymore corrupt and lose your grace, there is no chance of you ever becoming an angel again and coming home. You are the purest and truest angel I know, Castiel. You can't let that happen."_

_"I am not an angel anymore," Castiel said softly. "How am I supposed to redeem myself when there is nothing left?"_

_"That's not true! Listen, Crowley is trying to -"_

_"Gabriel! What have you done?!"_

_They both looked up to see Balthazar standing there with a mix of anger and despair on his face._

_Gabriel jumped to his feet. "I had to tell him **something**!" _

_"Father will destroy you for this!" the older looking angel yelled. "You have to get out of here now!"_

_"What about Crowley?" Castiel cried out, reaching for Gabriel._

_But it was too late. Both of his brothers disappeared into thin air._

Castiel startled awake with a strangled cry, his eyes snapping open and half expecting to be locked in Crowley's dungeon. Was that real? Had Gabriel really just visited him, or had it been some kind of dream? He looked quickly around his strange surroundings, noting the wooden dresser and the lace curtains on the window, and the floral wallpaper that was cracked in some places. He glanced down at the blanket he was wrapped in, a bright blue one that was intricately stitched together. He nearly jumped again as he saw the curious face of a redheaded child sitting next to him.

Dean's daughter. He must be at the Winchesters' house. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "You looked like you had a bad dream."

Castiel took a deep breath, trying to sit up in the bed, but every bone in his body ached. "Yes, I believe so."

Rhapsody nodded. "Daddy gets those too, sometimes. I always give him my favorite teddy and he feels better after."

The demon gave her a smile. "I'm sure he appreciates it very much."

The girl leaned back in the wooden chair she was sitting in, humming as she glanced out the window. "Uncle Sam said some bad guys hurt you. I'm sorry they did that."

Castiel tried to sit up again but groaned as a white hot pain coursed through his head. Rhapsody put a hand out to stop him. "Wait! Grandpa says you need to lay down for a bit and not try to get up."

Grandpa? That's right. He vaguely remembered learning that Dean had family other than his brother and daughter. "Your Grandpa seems very wise."

"He is. He taught my Daddy and Uncle all sorts of stuff." She swung her legs back and forth. "Like how to hunt monsters."

Castiel froze. This innocent child knew about monsters? "How old are you?"

"Eight. My birthday is in a month. I want to get a new bike, if Daddy will let me."

"That sounds nice."

"Uncle Sam taught me how to roller skate." She giggled, playing with one of her pigtails. "But he kept falling over a lot."

"That is probably because of how tall he is."

Rhapsody nodded. "He can't fit into my clubhouse to have tea. My daddy can, but barely." This girl seemed to be in very high spirits, despite the knowledge she had about things that went bump in the night.

"What do you know about monsters?" he asked slowly, hoping the question wouldn't anger Dean later.

She thought for a moment. "They are evil creatures who hurt people. Daddy and Uncle Sam go around the country and save them. They're heroes!" she exclaimed proudly.

"Are you afraid of them? These monsters, I mean."

She smiled brightly at him. "Nope! I know if my dad or uncle can't protect me, then Grandpa and Grandma will."

"You're very lucky to have so many who care about you," Castiel said, finding himself growing fond of the happy child. Even with all the darkness that surrounded her, she didn't seem to let it break her spirit. "What about your mother?"

Rhapsody looked sad about that, and glanced down at her hands. "She died when I was a baby. Cancer took her."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay," she said. "Angels are watching over her."

Castiel's breath hitched at the statement. "You... believe in angels?"

Rhapsody leaned forward in her chair. "Well, Daddy said Momma was in Heaven, and that's where angels live, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, there you go!" Rhapsody said with a laugh.

Castiel thought this child was much wiser than her age. He supposed the daughter of a hunter would have to grow up far sooner than most, with all the danger they were constantly in.

"Do you know where your father is?" he asked. "I wish to speak to him, and thank him for helping me."

Rhapsody shrugged. "He's outside in the garage with Uncle Sam talking to a demon."

"What?" Castiel tried to sit up again but the pain just knocked him back down. Panic began to fill him as he thought about the implications of that. What if the demon told the Winchesters about what he was? They would kill him for sure.

"You have to stay in bed!" the little girl urged.

"They - might be in trouble," Castiel replied. "I want to help."

"Don't worry, silly. My dad can handle anything." Rhapsody was so proud of her father that it was reminiscent of how Castiel once felt about his own. He wasn't sure how he felt about Him anymore, ever since he had been cast out and now nearly killed - and no one lifted a finger to help except the Winchesters. He decided that he would try to protect the child as best as he could, if he managed to live long enough, that is.

"Sweetheart, are you bothering our guest?" Dean asked, as he came into the room. Rhapsody jumped off her chair and ran to hug the hunter, who swung her up in his arms.

"I was just making sure he was okay!" she said.

Dean kissed the top of her head. "Well, that was nice of you, Dee." He glanced over at Castiel. "How are you feeling, buddy?"

"Tired. Sore." Castiel huffed a laugh. "Your daughter was keeping me company."

"I see that." Dean lowered the girl to the ground and gave her a pat on the back. "Why don't you go downstairs and help your Grandma with dinner? I need to check on Cas' wounds."

"Okay, Daddy! Bye, Cas!" Rhapsody waved then headed out the door.

Dean shut it behind her, then turned back to Castiel. "We need to talk."

Castiel felt fear at those four words, and he nodded numbly as he gestured to the chair beside the bed. Whatever was going to happen now, at least he had gotten to spend his last day with people who cared.


	14. The Angel in Demon's Clothing

The two men sat together in silence for a long time.

For awhile, there was nothing but the sounds of Jody talking to Rhapsody downstairs, or Bobby and Sam cleaning out the Impala in the yard. The conversation with the now dead demon in the garage had only raised more questions, instead of answers. Dean hated not knowing who or what he was up against, but he was hoping that maybe his new friend could fill in the blanks. He folded his hands in his lap, steadily meeting the azure blue eyes of the man on the bed, who was still covered in bruises and gashes, his wounds stitched together by Bobby's familiar hand. He noticed that Castiel looked worried about something. Maybe he thought Dean was going to kick him out?

"You can stay here as long as you need," Dean assured him, hoping it would relax the other man somewhat.

Castiel gave a nod and let out a breath. "Thank you, Dean."

The hunter was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. In the last week he had worried himself sick over a total stranger, then dealt with a sudden influx of people wanting to harm those he cared about. Sure, he was always a target because he was a hunter, but the demons seemed desperate now - as if something had changed. He just didn't know what.

"So... I guess now you know that demons exist."

The man on the bed adjusted the pillow he was laying against. "Yes. It would seem so."

"Did you know they existed before they grabbed you?"

There was a long pause, which made Dean a little uneasy.

"Yes."

"Did you think I'd get mad at you or something?"

"I just didn't - I was just concerned you would find me to be the cause of all this." Castiel swept a hand out.

Dean studied the man for a moment. He didn't _actually_ blame Castiel, since it seemed that he was merely an innocent bystander. Though it was suspect that he had prior knowledge of demons. "How did you know about them?"

"Demons?"

"Yes."

Another long pause. "It's a long story."

"I got time." Dean propped his legs up on the edge of the bed.

Castiel met his gaze again. "The lover I spoke of - is a demon."

Dean just stared. "Say what?"

"When we met the other day. I told you my brother was concerned about my lover because he is a bad man."

"Yeah?"

"Well, he is a demon."

Dean didn't know whether to laugh or shake the guy for being a dumb ass. "You're dating a demon? What the hell's wrong with you, Cas?"

Castiel looked wounded at the statement, and averted his eyes in shame.

"Sorry." Dean scrubbed a hand across his jaw. "That was fucked up for me to say."

"It's fine. You are correct in your reaction, though. Being with him was a foolish mistake."

"Wait... " Dean leaned forward. "Did he have anything to do with why you were attacked?"

"I - do not know."

Dean had always been pretty good at reading people - especially when they were lying to him. He had little patience for this whole mess, though, and stood up from his chair. "Cas... you need to tell me the truth. If you are the reason for all this, then you need to leave." He felt like a dick for saying it, but his family came first, and he still barely knew the guy.

"I don't know the reason to be honest. I was grabbed by those demons to be used as bait for you. Whoever ordered it to happen, seems to have some sort of grudge against you." Castiel slowly sat up in the bed, grimacing with every movement. "However you are right. Me being here could potentially put your family in more danger. I will leave." The guy could barely walk, and Dean felt like an even bigger dick now for questioning him.

"Cas, wait. You don't have to go, I'm sorry. I just don't know what the hell is going on here. The demon we interrogated just made us even more confused -"

"What did he say?" Castiel asked, pausing in his attempts to move. Dean slowly sat back down in the chair again.

"He just spoke in riddles. Like - he told us the King of Hell wants us all dead, for some reason."

Castiel's eyes widened. "Crowley."

"What? You know him?"

"I know - of him. What else did he say?"

Dean thought for a moment, remembering the conversation with Mr. Snarky earlier. "He said something about Lucifer's cage, and a prophecy."

"A prophecy? What prophecy?"

"Uhh, let's see if I can remember. 'The truest and purest angel shall... shed the blood of the Righteous Man."

Castiel was silent again, his face a mask of shock.

"And it will open Lucifer's cage or something? I don't know. It was all bullshit anyway. Angels don't exist." Dean crossed his arms over his chest.

"The Righteous Man..." Castiel murmured.

"Yeah. Any idea what he was babbling about?"

"For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, But the wicked stumble in time of calamity," Castiel quoted.

"You go to church or something?" Dean asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"I told you, my Father was very religious."

"Have you heard that prophecy before, then?"

Castiel shook his head. "No. It's very strange. I thought I knew everything about the bible."

"See? Total bullshit. Dude just didn't want to die."

"Yes. You are probably right." Castiel pulled the blanket over his chest. "Maybe it wouldn't hurt to find out who would fit that description, though. Just in case."

"About the angel, or the man?"

"Both." Dean stared at Castiel in disbelief. "Wait, are you saying angels are real?"

The other man slowly nodded. "I think anything is possible, Dean."

"Huh. If that were the case, I'd owe Sam $50."

"You gambled with your brother about the existence of angels?"

"Yep."

"Dean! Dinner's ready!" Jody called up the stairs.

"Be down there in a sec!" he yelled back. He rose to his feet and patted the bed. "I'll grab you some grub in a second. Listen, I'm sorry for being an asshole earlier."

"You were just trying to protect your family. I understand."

Dean's green eyes softened. "And you were trying to protect it, too. I remember when we found you, you were more concerned about me and Sammy saving our asses instead of yours. Thank you for that, and letting us know they were gonna try to get Dee."

"I had to. I couldn't let them get to her, especially if all this was my fault."

Dean sighed. "At this point, it doesn't matter who's to blame. We just need to get rid of the problem as soon as possible. Bobby's going to put up demon traps all over the place after dinner, so you can rest assured that not even your douchebag boyfriend is gonna be able to get in, okay?"

Castiel smiled, but it was strained on his face. Poor guy. "Okay."

"I'll be back soon, Cas." He headed out the door and down the stairs, greeted by the wonderful scent of fresh baked lasagna and garlic bread. The rest of the family was already sitting around the table. He took a moment to watch them, happy that he was able to experience another night of a semi-normal life with those he loved.

He wouldn't let anyone take this way from him - King of Hell or not.


	15. Almost Like Family - Part 1

A week or two had passed in the Winchester-Singer household.

Sam and Dean went out every few days in an effort to find whatever demons they could to interrogate. Castiel had spent most of the time in his room, staring out the window and waiting for the day his secret would be discovered. He was certain that the time would come soon, because everyone in the house was highly intelligent, and had a penchant for seeing through lies and deceit. He knew that he was playing a deadly game by remaining there with a group of veteran hunters. Maybe it was selfishness, and the joy he got from the conversations he had with Rhapsody, or Jody coming in a few times a day to check on him and give him a plate of cookies and milk.

Maybe it was just sheer stupidity.

Bobby Singer had shown obvious mistrust for Castiel since the day they met. The demon could hardly blame the man, since his house was full of people he cared about, and Castiel was still essentially a stranger. Bobby's open hostility for him was always saved for the times they were alone. Castiel suspected that was so the others didn't have to feel anymore tension than they already did.

"You're hidin' somethin', boy," Bobby said one day, when Castiel was helping him clean the guns. "Don't know what, but I'm gonna find out."

"I assure you, Mr. Singer -" Castiel began, but the hunter just aimed his rifle at him.

"If I find out that you have intentions to hurt my kids, grandkid, or wife, I will kill you where you stand. Got it?"

Castiel had just nodded, not knowing what he could do or say to placate the man. The demon inside him had snarled viscously, that familiar voice in his head demanding that he kill Bobby for his threats, but Castiel forced it down with a shot of whiskey - which was apparently a popular staple for hunters. He could understand the enjoyment of the liquid that burned when it slid down one's throat. It gave a temporary sense of delirium, making him feel like nothing else mattered. He wished that it would last forever.

Castiel was finally semi-mobile. In the mornings, one of the brothers would help him downstairs, and he'd spend the day helping Bobby with research, or Jody cutting some manner of fruit or vegetable for dinner. It was easy enough work - mundane for a being like him who had seen the rise and falls of civilization. At night, he would be helped back upstairs, and then left alone in the guest room to dwell all night on his situation.

_Did Crowley think he was dead? Surely he had to know by now, since his minions hadn't returned to Hell..._

The question was constantly in the back of his mind, and despite the security of the devil's traps that surrounded the property (he was lucky that none of them had any expectation that he would leave, because he couldn't get out, either), he still half expected the King to pop into the bedroom with a sour look and a glass of Craig. Foolish. _Impossible_. But the fear was still there, and unfortunately he had all night long to think about it, since he didn't sleep.

Dean hadn't mentioned their conversation again, either - the one where Castiel confessed he had a demon for a lover. It had been right on the tip of his tongue to just come clean and tell the hunter everything, but Dean's obvious distaste for anyone with black eyes made him realize complete honesty would have been a death sentence. In retrospect now though, he was pretty sure that Crowley sending demons to kill him was a clear sign that their relationship was over.

Today marked the 14th day he had been in the house. The wounds had finally begun to heal, slightly faster than a human, but still slower than a demon. He wasn't sure why he was having the issue, as whenever he had gotten hurt before he was back on his feet in no time. Granted, no one had attempted to kill him twice in one week, but still. He decided to take a walk outside, towards the little playground where Rhapsody was building a sandcastle. Dean stood watch nearby, working on the engine of his car and singing along to some music. Shirtless.

Castiel paused for a moment, taking in the sight of the hunter. There was no denying that the man was incredibly handsome, or that he didn't feel his cheeks tinge pink whenever Dean gave him that charming grin of his. It was rare that the demon saw it, since Dean had been stressed out about who was after his family, but it was still beautiful when he did.

"Cas!" He saw Dean turn around briefly and wave at him, before continuing to fiddle with his car.

Castiel put his hand up to wave back, but Dean wasn't looking anymore, and now he just felt silly. He walked towards the playground and smiled at the little girl. "Rhapsody. How are you today?"

"I'm fine." She focused for a moment on a turret she was building, her tongue stuck between her teeth while she concentrated. "There. What do you think?"

He studied the structure and nodded. "It looks wonderful."

"Yay!" She proceeded to build a little crevice around the castle, gently smoothing the sand out of the way. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you."

"See? Grandpa was right. You just needed your rest."

"It seems so." He slowly sat down on a bench that Bobby had built, wincing as a bolt of pain shot through his back.

"Are you okay?" Rhapsody asked, worry in her voice. She stood, ready to help him if he needed. He admired that about her - she was so much like her father.

Castiel put a hand out to reassure her. "I'm fine. It will take time to fully recover, I think."

"It's too bad you don't know any angels," Rhapsody said, brushing the sand off her overalls.

"What do you mean?" Castiel found it strange how fascinated with angels the girl seemed to be.

"Well angels heal people, right? Maybe one could heal you."

Castiel _had_ considered calling Gabriel for help, but he doubted his brother would come, especially here. "Yes, I suppose that's true."

He watched as Dean shut the hood of his car and turned down the music. The hunter walked over to them, that wonderful grin appearing on his face once more. "Hey, Cas. Look at you. Out and about like a real person!"

Castiel laughed a little. "Yes, I was happy to be able to get out of bed finally. I hate just laying there and doing nothing."

"I hear ya," Dean replied, wiping his hands on a rag and slipping it into his back pocket. Castiel was momentarily distracted by the ripple of the man's bare abs, the beads of sweat on the tanned flesh... 

"But lounging around sometimes is good for ya, too."

He momentarily wondered what that flesh would taste like on his tongue. Would it be salty, or sweet? 

"Cas?"

Castiel quickly glanced back up at Dean's green eyes, pulling his attention back to the conversation - and the hunter winked at him. He felt his mouth go dry and he opened and closed it a few times. "I - yes, I suppose it's - is something wrong with your vehicle?" he stammered out, struggling to find words.

Dean gave a shrug of his shoulders. "Nah. I just like to do a tuneup every now and then. I've been running her ragged for weeks now."

"Her?" "Yep. I call her Baby."

Castiel thought it must be a strange human thing to name inanimate objects, but he wouldn't deny Dean that little bit of joy.

"Well, she looks very well maintained."

Dean beamed at the compliment. "I try to. Would you believe I've had to rebuild her three times?" he asked. "Hazards of the job, I guess."

"You're weird, Daddy," Rhapsody said with a giggle.

"I know Cupcake, I know." Dean ruffled her red hair, much to her protest. "Hey, Cas, can ya do me a favor?"

Castiel nodded. "Of course, Dean. Anything."

"Sam and I need to run into town real fast, and Bobby is at the station with Jody. Can you watch Rhapsody while we're gone?"

The demon felt elated and surprised. Dean trusted him enough to watch her by himself? He knew that was a huge honor, and he couldn't help but feel his own sense of pride. "I'd love to."

"Great." Dean bent down and gave his daughter a hug. "You be good for Cas while we're gone, okay? We'll be back soon."

"Okay, daddy." Dean patted Castiel on the shoulder while he walked by. "Thanks, man. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome," the demon replied. Sam and Dean headed out to the Impala and got in a few moments later, the engine rumbling to a start and rolling down the drive. Castiel watched it until he couldn't see it anymore, and then turned to the little girl standing expectantly in front of him. "Well, Rhapsody, what would you like to do first?


	16. Mistrust

"I just don't trust him."

"I know."

"Do ya? Because he's still in my damn house!"

"Bobby!"

The older hunter hadn't trusted the man in the trench coat ever since he stepped foot on his property - well, was _carried_ onto his property, anyway. With Castiel's arrival had come uncertainty and worries that didn't exist before. Sure, he and his boys had always been the targets of anything supernatural because of what they did, but this was different. Castiel was secretive, and always vague about his past whenever he was asked. That was a red flag in Bobby's mind. A man was allowed to have his secrets, but not when it put Bobby's family in danger.

He was currently pacing a hole in front of Jody's desk at the police station, his tension over their new houseguest causing him to rant and rave for the past hour or so. He felt bad for putting all that on his wife's shoulders, but he couldn't exactly talk to Sam and Dean about his concerns, either. They had enough problems to deal with. "Somethin's just not right about that boy."

Jody leaned back in her chair, slowly sipping her coffee from the 'This is my Morning Face' mug the boys had bought her for Mother's day. "I know you're worried about everyone's safety, Bobby, but you can't suspect everyone of having ulterior motives."

"Not everyone. Just Castiel. And what kinda name is that, anyway?"

"He said it was biblical."

"It's weird. Never heard it before."

Jody chuckled a little, setting her mug back down. "Sit down, honey. You're gonna hurt something."

Bobby adjusted his trucker cap with a sigh, and then plopped into one of the chairs by her desk. "Fine. Just because you asked so nicely."

"Thank you." Jody winked at him. "So is that the only reason you came down to see me? I was hoping you were going to surprise me for lunch."

Bobby felt a little guilty at that. With all the drama recently with demons and Winchesters he hadn't had much time to just sit and talk with her much. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Just been a little crazy at home."

"I know. I live there, remember?"

The older hunter averted his eyes, focusing on the picture of Jody and the boys that sat on her desk. "I'm scared for them."

She smiled softly at him, reaching across her desk to hold his hand. "You're their father, for all intents and purposes. Even when they get gray hair you're still gonna worry. And so am I. They're like sons to me, too."

"What am I s'posed to do?" Bobby scrubbed a hand across his beard. "They're always so quick to help everyone and don't realize when they're putting themselves in danger."

Jody nodded. "That's who Sam and Dean are, though. You can't change that, Bobby. That's what makes them - _them_."

"It's reckless. What if Castiel turns out to be working for those demons? Have they even done the salt and holy water test on him yet?"

Jody waved him off. "Come on now. You put demon traps all over the place and he hasn't had an issue." She took another drink of her coffee. "And if he turns out to be working for them, then we will do what we have always done. We take care of the problem."

"Damn straight." Bobby sat back in his chair. "But my gut is tellin' me that somethin' ain't right. A hunter always knows."

"Yes, but Sam and Dean are hunters too, and have that same intuition you do. If they trust Castiel, then maybe _you_ should, too."

Bobby scowled at her and crossed his arms over his chest. "Damn it, woman. How do you always manage to be so calm and reasonable?"

"Comes from years of dealing with you, I suppose." Jody smirked, tapping her fingers on her desk. "But don't mistake my calm demeanor for weakness, Bobby Singer. If someone ever tries to hurt my boys or granddaughter I will put them down faster than you can say 'Angry Mama Bear'."

"I knew there was a reason I married ya," Bobby replied with a grin. 

"Because no one else would put up with your crazy ass?"

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby stood up and stretched out his arms. "I guess you're right. I'm just bein' a paranoid old bastard."

She put a hand up. "I never said that, but hey, if the shoe fits -"

Bobby rolled his eyes. "You're gonna be the death of me someday. You and those idjits we call sons."

"You wouldn't have us any other way. Now get out of here so I can get some work done."

"I'm goin', I'm goin'."

He started to head towards the door.

"Hey, pick up some hamburger meat from the store before you go back home. I want to make tacos tonight. And cheese, too!"

"Sounds good. See ya later."

"Be careful out there."

"You too. Don't stop for anyone on the road, even if they got a flat tire."

"I love you too, Bobby."


	17. Almost Like Family - Part 2

Rhapsody requested a tea party. Castiel, of course, had no idea what that even was, and automatically assumed it was yet another human ritual he didn't understand. The little girl seemed excited about it, so he followed her inside (she was even kind enough to walk slowly on his account) and up the stairs into her room. It was like walking into a whole different world, because this place looked completely different from the rest of the house.

The living room and hallways were cluttered with supernatural artifacts and old tomes, the kitchen shelves full of strange specimens in jars and things that even Castiel couldn't identify. Rhapsody's room, however, was painted purple and full of stuffed animals and toys, and looked like any normal child's room would - not that he had a lot of experience in that area, of course, but he didn't imagine that heads in jars fit into that equation.

His eyes landed on the nearly wall-high dollhouse in the corner, that had no doubt been built by Bobby himself at some point. Even the furniture inside it appeared to be handmade and painstakingly crafted to match the rest of the area. He smiled a little, reaching down to pick up a stuffed purple unicorn.

"That's Mary," Rhapsody said, as she sat down at a small table and chairs. "I named her after my grandma."

Castiel was confused at that. "I thought Jody was your grandma?"

"She is." Rhapsody began arranging various toys in the other chairs, leaving one empty. "But Mary was my dad's mom. She died when Uncle Sam was just a baby, but I know she was beautiful and magical, like a unicorn."

"Magical? Was she some kind of witch?" he asked curiously.

"No. But she had to be magical, to bring two heroes like my daddy and uncle into the world, right?"

"That's a wonderful sentiment."

The longer he knew the girl, the more he saw how intelligent and wise she truly was. He had no doubts that she would end up following in her father's footsteps and become a hunter someday. She certainly had the heart of one.

"I'm sorry you never got a chance to know her."

The little girl walked up to him and put a hand on his arm. He wondered if that must be a Winchester trait, because he had seen the brothers do the same to each other when they wanted to offer some sense of comfort. "It's fine, Cas. She's in Heaven with the angels, too, and one day I'm gonna be able to meet her there."

"Not too soon, I hope," he said, realizing that the thought of the girl being gone made him uneasy and... sad? What a strange feeling that was.

"Nah. Daddy would never let that happen."

Her unyielding faith in her father once again reminded him of the faith he once had for his own. He longed for that feeling again.

Rhapsody walked over to a large trunk that sat at the foot of her bed and began rooting through it. "You're not dressed properly for the party."

He glanced down at his current outfit - Dean's green borrowed pajama pants and the the hunter's favorite Batman shirt. "What does one wear to a... tea party, then?"

She was hanging nearly halfway into the trunk, and for a moment he considered yanking her out before she could fall inside. She finally dropped both feet to the floor and turned around, and he found himself breathing a sigh of relief. "Here, this one is pretty just like your eyes!" she said, shaking the strange garment at him.

It was long and blue, covered in what appeared to be feathers and something that sparkled. He tilted his head, taking it from the girl when she handed it to him. "I don't understand. How do I wear this?"

"You drape it around your neck, Silly! Like this!" Rhapsody stood on her tiptoes and Castiel bent down, allowing her to gently hang the strange object from his shoulders. It tickled him a bit, and he couldn't help but smile at her eagerness. "See? You look amazing!"

Castiel straightened, running his hands along the blue feathers. For a moment, he felt wistful as he remembered the way his wings had shone that same sapphire color in the sunlight. "Thank you, Rhapsody. It is remarkable, indeed."

"It's called a boa." The red haired child slung a purple one around her own shoulders. "Now for the finishing touch..." She suddenly plopped a tiara on top of his head.

Castiel felt a little silly, standing there with a strange feathered garment around his neck and a crown on his head, but it made the girl happy, so he didn't complain. He followed her to the little table and sat carefully in the empty chair, mindful not to put too much weight on it so that he didn't break it. Rhapsody lifted up the small kettle and went to pour it - but nothing came out. He was confused again.

"What happened? Did you forget to fill the kettle?"

She laughed. "Nope. It's pouring tea. Can't you see it?"

The demon tilted his head again, wondering what the girl was talking about. "I don't see anything. Is it something only children are able to perceive?"

Rhapsody laughed again, moving on to pour 'tea' into the unicorn's cup. "Haven't you ever played pretend when you were little, Cas?"

When he was little? Had he ever been small like her before? He could hardly remember anymore. "I - don't remember."

"Well, all you have to do is imagine something is there. Like the tea." Rhapsody lifted up her tea cup, and he did the same. "Pretend that there is tea inside your cup, and that we are two fancy ladies talking about the ball."

He nodded, looking at the little purple teacup and trying to imagine there was liquid inside it. She made it seem so easy - surely he could do it too, right? He focused hard on his task at hand, trying to see and understand what she did. He was just about to give up altogether, until she suddenly squealed out loud. "Cas... are you magic?"

He snapped back to reality, and realized with growing horror that there was now _actual_ tea in all of their cups. His mouth dropped open and he looked back at the little girl, who just stared at him in awe. "I - I didn't mean to do that."

"I knew it! You're an angel, aren't you?" She got up from her chair and hugged him tightly. "I knew you were special!"

He froze in the embrace, panic quickly setting in, as well as his survival instinct. Dean was going to find out the truth. He was going to know that he had left his precious child in the care of a... _demon_.

He swallowed thickly, resisting the urge to push the girl away and flee the scene, but then he remembered that he was trapped here. He couldn't leave even if he wanted to - and oh, how he did _want_ to. "You think I'm an angel?" he whispered. "Why?"

"You're too good to be anything else."

Her innocent naivety caused him to wrap his arms tightly around her. If only everyone believed as she did...

There had been many times in his existence where he craved human contact. Balthazar and Gabriel had often offered him hugs or pats on the shoulder whenever they met over the years, but it wasn't the same. They were still angels like he was once, created only to love their Father with unquestionable loyalty, and follow orders above all else. It had been simple once to do just that, until he had spent time on Earth and saw how beautiful - and terrible - humanity was. Perhaps that was why Dean Winchester had always fascinated him. He may have met the hunter in the park, but that wasn't the first time Castiel had seen him before.

It had been almost a year ago. Castiel was killing a man under Crowley's orders, a successful man from Poughkeepsie who drank too much and had six ex-wives too many. Tyler Wilkins was only a success at his real estate business because of one drunken night at the crossroads with a demon and a contract. His time had come eight years too early, when he attempted to make another deal to get out of the first one. Crowley sent his best enforcer - one trench coated former angel named Castiel - to kill him for what he had done. But unfortunately for Castiel, several other demons in that area had been causing a huge mess - huge enough that it caused a large black muscle car to roll into town to investigate.

He had barely gotten out of the alleyway in time, watching from a nearby rooftop while Dean steadily edged along the wall towards a large group of men with black eyes with a gun and a look of determination. But Castiel had seen something else, too, something that Dean didn't. A red-haired child crouching in the shadows while her father hunted, and the blond haired demon slowly sneaking up on her. Without Dean or Rhapsody even knowing, Castiel swooped down and grabbed the demon merely a few feet short of the child, shoving the angel blade into her body on the other side of the building with a hand over her mouth to prevent her screams from being heard. He didn't know what possessed him to save the girl on that day, but for some reason Crowley praised him for it when he returned to Hell.

He still had no idea why Crowley was happy that he had saved her. 

"Please don't tell your father," he said now, feeling the child's heartbeat against his chest. "For everyone's safety, they can't know what I am."

"Is that why the demons are after you? Because they know you're an angel?"

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke. "I think so. But if your family finds out, they could be put in more danger than they are. I don't want them to get hurt because of me."

Rhapsody pulled back and looked up at him, her green eyes earnest and sincere. "Thank you for watching out for them. I promise I won't tell."

"Thank you," he said, smiling at her. "No wonder you make your father so proud."

They soon heard the rumble of the Impala in the drive, and Rhapsody sat back down in her chair, sipping the tea from her purple cup and talking animatedly to her stuffed animals as if nothing had happened.

A few minutes later, Dean walked into the room and held his arms out for his daughter, who happily ran into them. He burst into laughter at the sight of Castiel, and the demon blushed, forgetting that he was still wearing the feather boa and tiara.

"You look good, Cas!" Dean teased. "The blue really brings out your eyes."

"Isn't he pretty, Daddy?"

"Yes, we were having a - tea party," he said, gesturing to the table.

"I see that. And with actual tea?" Dean replied, walking over to pick up a cup. "Nice touch, Cas."

"He's bad at pretending," Rhapsody said, playfully shaking the boa at him. "So he made tea for us."

"Does she make you wear these, too?" Castiel asked, slowly taking the tiara off his head.

"Of course she does," Dean laughed, "The green one's mine and she thinks Sam is pretty in pink." He winked at Castiel. "And we don't argue."

They held each other's gaze then, blue locked on green, and for a moment, it didn't matter that Castiel was a demon and Dean was a hunter. He was just happy to be there with the two of them. Even if he did have to dress up like some kind of princess.

Humans were strange.


	18. Dean makes a mean burger

Dean had been amused to come home and find his new friend donned in a blue feathered boa and princess tiara. He knew that his daughter would end up wanting to throw a tea party, but pleasantly surprised to see Castiel had gone along with it, despite how awkward the guy could be.

The truth was, he had gotten back home sooner than he intended to. Dean was about halfway to the store before he truly realized that he had just left Rhapsody alone with someone that he barely knew - virtually a stranger in fact. Sure Castiel had proven himself to be a nice guy, but Dean had no idea if he was willing to put his life on the line for his daughter the way the rest of the family would, nor could he expect him to. Dean was about 95% sure that he could trust Castiel though, and he wanted to prove that very thing to his overly paranoid father. Bobby hadn't come out and said it, but Dean knew him enough to see that the older hunter wouldn't trust Castiel to make him scrambled eggs at this point, much less during this war with demons that they may or may not be in. If John Winchester had taught him anything, it was that you never go hunting with people you don't trust, because it could end up with everyone dead.

Not that he was expecting Castiel to suit up in flannel and jeans and go take out a vamp's nest with them, but the principle was still the same.

So, he had swung his car around in the middle of the street - much to his brother's annoyance - and hauled ass back home. But when he got there, nothing was wrong, and even in that short time with Rhapsody, Castiel had managed to make her happy. He had watched from the doorway for a brief moment as they drank their tea and talked about the names of her stuffed animals. A small part of him had always wondered what it would be like to raise Rhapsody with someone else. Sure, his family had a huge helping hand in raising her, but that wasn't the same. Not like laying in bed next to a warm body after a long day and laughing together about something silly their kid had done, or wondering what she would grow up to be.

At first, Tiffany had been in that equation, but he knew that the outcome would still be the same, and Rhapsody would have just had to watch her own mother wither away into nothing. But Castiel... there was something about the man that had crawled inside Dean's skin from day one. He just didn't know what it was, and was too afraid to put a name to it.

It was the weekend, and everyone was at home taking the day to relax, instead of going around chasing down demons and leads that went nowhere. Dean was outside in the cool October sunshine, setting up the barbecue so he could make his famous bacon cheeseburgers that his whole family seemed to love. Castiel was sitting a few feet away, reading a book that Sam had lent him about Greek mythology. Sam was by the playground, watching over Rhapsody while she swung on the swings. Bobby was inside with Jody, helping her peel apples so she could make pie for dessert. He loved days like this, rare as they were. Maybe that was what made them so special.

"That smells delicious," Castiel said, without even looking up from his book.

"Haven't even started yet, Cas," Dean laughed, closing the lid of the grill. "That's just the coals heatin' up."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No need to apologize, man. I just hope you like the finished product."

"I'm sure I will. The few times you've cooked meals for us they were always delicious."

Dean felt a blush creeping on his cheeks and he grinned. "Well, thanks. Good book?"

Castiel nodded, his blue eyes lifting up to meet Dean's. "I find it to be fascinating, although Zeus seems to enjoy fornication quite a bit."

Dean burst into laughter, taking a swig from his beer. "Understatement. Everyone's pretty much related, I think."

"That makes things complicated."

"Sure does." Dean swept a glance from side to side, then bent down closer to the other man, lowering his voice. "So, uh... if you're really interested in that stuff, you should check out a series called _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_."

"I will - but why are you whispering?" Castiel asked, with a tilt of his head.

"Sammy just doesn't need to know I'm a big nerd like he is. Gotta keep somethin' hanging over his head, right?" Dean patted him on the shoulder and turned back to the grill again, opening it to check the state of the coals. "Almost time."

"My brother Gabriel used to tease me about how much I enjoyed bees."

Dean glanced back curiously. "Bees?"

"Yes. I find it relaxing to tend to their hives. Also the honey they make is quite delicious to eat. You should try it sometime." Castiel flipped a page on his book.

"Every bee I've ever met is usually too busy trying to sting me," Dean said, lifting the lid off his container of burgers.

"I suppose it's not for everyone."

"Yeah."

Dean carefully placed a few burgers on the grill, then closed the lid. "So, Gabriel, huh? You ever get a chance to talk to him since what happened in the bakery?"

Castiel frowned, setting the book aside. "No. He - is somewhat of a nomad, and I don't always know where he is at any given time."

"Kind of like us, then."

"Yes, although he doesn't hunt."

Dean nodded, sitting down on the picnic bench across from Castiel. "Does he know about demons and stuff?"

"Yes, but he tries to avoid them."

"I guess that makes sense - you did tell me he hated your boyfriend."

Castiel smiled a little. "Probably for more reasons than that."

Dean had been wondering if it was finally over between Castiel and his mystery lover, but had been frankly too afraid to ask. Well, now was as good of a time as any. He wiped his hands on his jeans and cleared his throat. "So... is it done between you two?"

"Gabriel and myself?"

"No, dude. You and your boyfriend."

"Oh." Castiel looked down at his hands, where a few bruises remained from him trying to defend himself.

Dean clenched his jaw, remembering the state he had found his friend on that horrible, fucked up day. If only he had gotten there sooner...

"I would assume that our relationship has ceased," Castiel continued. "He would have most likely killed me, eventually."

"I bet he had something to do with you getting hurt." Dean pounded a fist down on the table, causing various bottles and silverware to jump a few inches. 

"Dean!"

"Sorry, Jody."

"I was planning on leaving him anyway." Castiel looked up at him again, those blue eyes shining in the light. "The things you said on the day we met... it made me see the truth."

Dean was happy about that, and felt a grin lift the corners of his mouth. "I'm glad, man. Really. You deserve better."

"Thank you, Dean."

They held each other's gazes for a few long moments, before Dean forced himself to look away. He didn't understand why that kept happening, but it was like staring into the sun.

"Have you and your brother found any new evidence regarding the demon problem?"

Dean was shaken from his thoughts by that deep gravelly voice, and stood up to check on the burgers. "Not really. Every demon we interrogate doesn't seem to have any clue about why the King of Hell wants our heads. Maybe there isn't actually a reason, other than the fact that we keep taking out his minions."

"That's a possibility."

Dean flipped the patties over. "Honestly, it would be nice if that was the only reason. Then maybe we could go back to some semblance of normalcy." He sighed, wiping a hand across his forehead. "But let's be honest - kidnapping you and using you as a trap to get us there and kill us? Seems a bit of an overreach, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... all he would really have to do is have some demons cause some trouble in some town that would get our attention, then have a whole army of them swoop in on us when we get there. Me and Sam are good, but not _that_ good."

"That's true."

"How did you end up meeting a demon, anyway?" Dean asked, sitting back down on the bench. "Sorry, I'm just... curious, I guess."

"It's alright." Castiel rested his arms on the table. "I met him on the day my father cast me out."

Dean huffed a laugh. "Cast you out? You've said that a couple times now."

"My family is very... religious. I guess certain words and praises are ingrained in my mental processes."

"Seems like it." Dean took another sip of his beer. "So, let's see if I can paint the picture - you get kicked out, you meet some guy who says just the right things at the right time, and of course you fall for him." He tapped a finger thoughtfully on the bottle. "He ends up manipulating you and bending you to his will, and you go along with it because he's the only one who cared about you when you needed it the most."

Castiel's eyes widened at that. "How did you know?"

"I told you. Seen it a lot before." Dean gave a shrug. "Douchebags like him all operate the same."

"So you've met people like him, then?" Dean nodded. "That was how I met Tiffany, actually. Dee's mom. Sam and I were on a good old fashioned ghost hunt, and I decided to go take a break at the bar, because he was bitchin' about wanting to sleep." Dean finished off the last of his beer. "I was sitting there, drinking by myself, thinking about my life, funny enough. Goin' through the whole, 'is this it for me?' existential crisis that we all go through at some point, when I hear this shouting from the other end of the bar."

"Was it a 'douchebag'?"

Dean tipped the empty bottle towards Castiel. "You got it in one. I turn around, and this big lumberjack looking asshole is leaning over the most beautiful redhead I had ever seen - has her by the arm and is trying to drag her out of the bar. No one else is lifting a finger. I might kill shit for a living, but even I know that you don't treat a lady like that. So, I get up and knock his teeth out." Dean smirked, remembering the way the guy had dropped after one well-placed punch. "I took her out of there, we shared a wonderful night, and I never heard from her again. Not til' Rhapsody, of course."

Castiel turned to look at the little girl who was playing tag with her uncle. "Well, I think you make a wonderful father, Dean."

"Thanks, Cas. Just wish I could have prevented her from finding out about all this."

Castiel reached across the table and touched the other man's arm. "It's better that she grows up knowing about it, and knows how to deal with it, instead of being one of those people you and your brother have to save because they had no idea that monsters existed."

"I know. That's the only saving grace to the whole fucked up thing."

"She's very brave, you know."

"Yep. She's gonna give em' hell when she gets older." Dean cleared his throat and stood again. "Hey, thanks again for watching her the other night. She really seems to like you."

"I'm quite fond of her, as well." Castiel smiled, all gums and teeth. "I enjoyed the tea party."

Dean cared for Castiel. He knew that much. His stupid heart leapt in his chest everytime he laid eyes on the guy. His palms got sweaty, he couldn't stop looking at those perfect pink lips, or the way Castiel fit so damned well into Dean's shirts. But he knew now wasn't the time to think about romance or companionship. He didn't think there ever would be a time for that. He was Dean Winchester. He would walk the hunter's road with his brother until he walked it alone.

There was no other way.

He flipped the burgers, adding a little bit more seasoning, while Castiel picked up his book and began reading it again. He would enjoy the life he had, however long it lasted.


	19. Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: mentions of suicidal thoughts

The talk with Dean had stirred feelings in Castiel's chest that he didn't know he was capable of having. The more he learned about the older Winchester, the more he saw how noble the man truly was. Sam had a good heart, too, but he didn't affect the demon the way Dean did. It terrified him.

It was the day after the family barbecue, barely after 6 a.m. and the sun was just climbing over the horizon. Castiel was standing in the yard next to Dean's Impala, a hot cup of coffee in his hand and a blue robe wrapped around him - a gift from Jody. His eyes danced over the mix of blues and pinks and oranges, remembering the day he had seen his Father create the world. Nothing could compare to such a sight, and his heart ached. No matter what God or any of his brothers or sisters had done - or _not_ done, in this case - he knew he would always love them. He wished that he wouldn't, though.

Crowley had always told him that love was a weakness. Even when they were together, the King had never uttered words of affection to Castiel. Sure, there was praise when he did a job well done, or looks of pride when he had accomplished something the other demons hadn't. It was no wonder that his black eyed brethren had refused to talk. No one was willing to out each other. They were all just happy that Castiel was gone. They probably just assumed that he was dead. If he was lucky, Crowley would assume that, too.

He took a sip of the coffee, enjoying the simple action of watching a sunrise like a normal person would. Before this, most of his time had been spent in his own little corner of Hell, away from jealous eyes and plotting lips. Would he have to return there one day? Surely Crowley would demand that he come back, if he didn't still want Castiel dead.

He still had no idea why the King had sent Victor and the others after him, either. He supposed it didn't really matter at this point. He could take a hint.

"Castiel."

He froze, feeling the sudden purity of grace beside him, his inner demon hissing and recoiling against it. He turned his blue eyes towards his shorter brother, fear and uncertainty making his hand shake. "Gabriel."

The archangel took a step forward, his expression full of guilt as his golden eyes raked over Castiel's form. "I'm so sorry, little brother."

"Sorry? For what?"

"That I didn't come save you when I had the chance."

"You still risked your life to come see me in my dreams," Castiel said. "I've been worried that Father had punished you for it."

Gabriel shook his head. "Cassie, Dad has been missing for a week now."

Castiel felt his stomach drop at that, staring back at his brother in disbelief. Surely Gabriel was wrong, and their Father was just taking some time to himself. "Wh-what?"

"He's gone. No one knows where he is." Gabriel walked over and leaned against the shiny black car. "I've been trying to find him. Balthazar is, too. But it's like he just... vanished."

"How is this possible?"

Gabriel shrugged. "Dunno. But everyone in Heaven is freaking out."

Castiel turned to look at the sunrise again, his brow furrowed in thought. "Something strange is going on. First Crowley does this to me, trying to trap the Winchesters and get me out of the way - now this? It doesn't make sense."

"Crowley wasn't trying to kill you. He was trying to corrupt the last little bit of grace you had by making you kill Dean."

"What? Why would that matter to him?"

"I'm not sure. Something about you and the Winchesters is important, and we have to find out what it is."

"If that was the case, why did he have those three demons come after me before the brothers even showed up?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Because they wanted to finish what they started? Who knows." He conjured up a cheese danish and began to slowly eat it.

Castiel watched him eat for a moment, before drinking from his mug again.

"I'm glad you survived the attack," Gabriel said softly. "And that the Winchesters came in time to save you when I couldn't."

"Me, too." Castiel looked earnestly at him. "I don't blame you for doing nothing, Gabriel. I'm happy you stayed away. I wouldn't want you cursed to the same fate I am just so you could save my life."

"I - I want to beg forgiveness for failing you, but I don't think I deserve it, even if you gave it to me."

There was a part of Castiel that blamed Gabriel, and wanted to make him pay, but he knew it was the part with black eyes and evil intentions that was constantly telling him to kill the entire Winchester-Singer household and get as far away as possible. It was a constant inner battle that he fought, and sometimes it got too much for him to take. He worried all the time that one day that his darkness would overtake him, and force him to hurt the ones he had grown to deeply care about, and contemplated just ending his own life to save theirs. He knew deep down that he would do it without hesitation if it ever came down to that, because the lives of Dean and his family were worth far more than his own depraved being.

"Can I ask you something?"

Castiel glanced curiously at him, relieved to be broken from his dark thoughts. "Yes. What is it?"

"Why are you still here?"

There were many reasons for that, of course, but he could never reveal most of them to Gabriel. He chose to go with the more logical one. "They have put up demon traps all over the property. I can't get out."

Gabriel's mouth dropped open. "Damn. I forgot about that. Haven't they noticed that you can't leave?"

Castiel shrugged. "I'm recovering from a serious attack. None of them expect me to leave the safety of this house."

The archangel nodded slowly. "I guess that makes sense, but... eventually they'll begin to wonder, baby bro."

"I know." Castiel lifted his eyes to the heavens. "That will be the day they discover my secret and destroy me."

"Do you really think that?" Gabriel asked, worry crossing his face.

The demon looked down into his cup, momentarily thinking about the day Jody came home with it. It was baby blue with the name 'Castiel' inscribed upon it in fancy writing. There was even a honeybee on it, because of a conversation they had last week about the little yellow and black insects and how much he loved them. "I want to believe that they would spare me," he told him. "But they hate demons, and for good reason. I would expect nothing less than violent hostility - if not because of what I am, but because I have lied to him this entire time."

"Him?"

"Them," Castiel hastily corrected. "For lying to them when they showed me kindness and hospitality."

"Much as I hate to say it," Gabriel said, finishing the last of his danish and wiping his hands on his jeans. "Dean Winchester seems like a good man. He might actually understand, if you've formed a bond with him."

Castiel felt his face blush red at that and quickly glanced away. "We haven't formed a bond. I am... simply a man he helped. That's what he does. He helps those in need."

Gabriel didn't seem convinced. "And what is he to you, Cas?"

The demon wasn't sure how to respond to that. Deep down, he knew what he wanted Dean to be, but he also knew it would never happen. Those thoughts didn't belong in Castiel's head. "He's just the man who helped me."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care."

Gabriel put his hands up. "Fine. Forget I said anything."

"What will you do now?" Castiel asked, finishing the last of his coffee. He nearly put the empty mug on the hood of the car, until he remembered that doing so would earn him an even quicker death sentence from Dean.

"I'm going to try to find Dad. The other angels are like lost sheep, and it's starting to become chaotic up there."

"What of Balthazar? Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he's fine. But he decided to leave Heaven and stay on Earth for awhile until this all blows over, checking for leads in his 'spare time'. You know him - he'd rather get drunk than deal with war and confrontation."

Castiel smiled a little at that. "Yes, I remember."

Gabriel paused for a moment. "He still loves you, Cassie. Just as I do. Never forget that." He crossed his arms over his chest. "In the meantime, I'll help you with your little demon trap problem."

"How?"

"It's just a simple matter of altering the sigils so that you are the only demon who can get through. You're healing pretty quickly now, I can see it, and soon you can't use the 'I'm recovering' excuse." Gabriel gave him a strained look. "When I change the sigil, you need to get out of here as soon as possible. Don't risk your life just so you can enjoy coffee filled sunrises and barbeque's."

"Cas?"

Dean's voice floated out from the house, and Gabriel vanished with a flap of wings.

"Cas? You out here?"

"I'm here, Dean," Castiel said, walking towards the hunter, who stood on the porch. "I was drinking my coffee and enjoying the morning."

"Were ya talking to someone?" Dean asked, his brow raised. "Thought I heard voices."

Castiel glanced back towards the car. "Oh. I was just... speaking to God."

"God?"

"He is where I turn to in moments of weakness. Old habits never change, I guess."

Dean smiled at him. "I get that. Everyone needs to believe in somethin'. But hey, if you ever need, you know, a shoulder or anything... "

Castiel admired that the hunter was always so willing to be a friend to him. "Thank you, Dean. The same goes for you."

Dean slung an arm around the demon's shoulders. "Come back inside. Mom's making her famous s'mores pancakes. You're gonna love em'."

As they walked into the house together, the warmth of Dean's arm against his neck, he briefly wondered how it would feel to see that same arm swing a blade towards him in anger. Would the Winchesters at least give him the courtesy of a quick demise? Would they drag it out slowly, in an act of revenge for his betrayal? He sat down beside Rhapsody, who immediately wrapped him in a tight hug. His eyes looked around the table, at all the friendly faces who had taken care of him the past few weeks.

He would miss them when he was gone.


	20. Inner Circle

Sam had begun to see something different in his brother.

It was subtle at first, a smile here and there - Dean whistling a tune while he did simple things like wash his car or clean the garage. Sam had asked him once what had caused the sudden happiness, but his brother just rolled his eyes and said, "No chick flick moments, Sammy," so he didn't ask again. Still, there was something wonderful about seeing some of the stress lines on Dean's face smooth out, and fewer nightmares that caused Dean to wake up screaming. A hunter having nightmares was part of the job, but it tore Sam up inside to hear his big brother cry out in the darkness. Sometimes, he wondered if Castiel had anything to do with it.

The man had been living there for a month now, a regular fixture in the Winchester-Singer household. Castiel fit in easily with them, taking over babysitting whenever it was needed, or helping Jody in the kitchen. Even Bobby had finally started to like him, asking him more to help with research when the others were too busy. Castiel never complained once, and always did whatever they asked of him. There were times Sam woke up in the middle of the night to see him reading by the fireplace, usually another book he had borrowed from Sam. He went through them with an eagerness that only matched Sam's own, and the younger Winchester found him interesting to talk to.

It was early November, and the temperatures had begun to drop. There was a tension in the air, too, as if something was about to happen. They didn't know what it was yet, or if it was good or bad. All their efforts to locate Crowley had been fruitless, and so they started working on other cases again, because at the end of the day they were still hunters. They had to put their own cause on the back burner and save other people.

One Friday morning, things spun slightly out of control for the family, and once again, Sam was glad that Castiel was there. Around the same time Sam and Dean had found a vampire nest in the next state over, Jody had come home in tears worried about a friend of hers from college, who seemed to be in serious trouble. At first, the brothers offered to just take the case and see what they could find out, but Jody insisted she wanted to handle it personally. Bobby, of course, was right by her side. The decision of what to do about Rhapsody came easily enough, since Castiel volunteered to come along and watch her while they took care of the nest. Sam was just glad that the man wouldn't have to be cooped up in the house anymore. So, the entire Winchester-Singer household headed out to do what they did best - save the world.

The four of them stopped at a 50's style diner off the highway a few hours into their trip. Sam sat in the booth beside Dean, and Castiel sat next to Rhapsody. As Sam began browsing through his menu, he could see his brother shake his head out of the corner of his eye.

"What is it?" he asked, reading the description for a chicken fajita salad.

"Don't know why you bother, that's all." Dean slung an arm across the booth. "You _always_ get salad."

Sam threw him a bitch face. "Maybe I want something different."

"Sure ya do, Sammy. And maybe I'll eat salad today and you can have a cheeseburger."

The idea was absurd and Sam nearly choked on the water he had just started to drink. "Right. Worry about your own food, Dean."

The older Winchester was just as predictable as he was, though, so he didn't know why Dean was complaining. Hypocrite.

"Daddy, can I have a cheeseburger, too?"

"Of course you can, sweetheart." Dean beamed at her over his menu, pride showing through his features. His gaze slid over to Castiel. "What do you think you want, Cas?"

The blue eyed man looked perplexed at the question. "Well, while the cheeseburger does look pleasing, I doubt that it could compare to the delicious burgers you make, Dean."

Dean looked like he had just been told Christmas was coming early. "Thanks, Cas," he replied, the tips of his ears turning pink.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

"I might try the chicken fajita salad," Castiel continued, tapping a finger on the menu.

"I was thinking of trying that, too," Sam said.

"Big surprise," Dean muttered beside him.

"Shut up, jerk."

"Eat me, bitch."

"Language," Castiel chastised, tipping his chin towards the little girl, who remained oblivious to their conversation as usual.

Dean just laughed. "Oh, I forgot. Cas here is a good little church boy."

"I... used to be," Castiel said, lowering his menu and taking a drink of his lemonade.

"Not true, man," Dean replied. "I saw you talking to God the other day, remember? So you must still have some faith in there somewhere." He pointed to Castiel's chest.

"What do you have faith in?" Castiel asked, staring intently across the table.

Dean steadily met his gaze in return, neither of them saying a word for what felt like an eternity.

Sam had noticed the constant eye contact between the two of them weeks ago. It wasn't exactly normal behavior for two _platonic_ friends, right? Whatever, it wasn't his business. So, he did what he usually did when those two got lost in each other like two lovestruck idiots - he awkwardly cleared his throat.

Dean quickly focused on the salt and pepper shakers, and Castiel pretended to be interested in something outside. Sam just smirked.

"I used to have faith in my dad," the older hunter finally answered. "But then I learned that the best horse to bet on is yourself."

"So you don't believe in God?"

Dean gave a shrug. "Dunno. I've never seen any evidence of his existence."

Castiel opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the appearance of the waitress.

"Afternoon, folks," she said, with a friendly smile. "What can I get ya?"

"Hello there," Sam said to her. "The chicken fajita salad for me, please."

"Got it. And for you, sweetie?" she asked the little girl.

"Cheeseburger, please!" Rhapsody said.

"Only cheese on it," Dean added.

"Chicken fajita salad for me as well," Castiel told her, taking another drink of his lemonade.

Then the waitress took a good look at Dean, her blue eyes raking over his body like she a patron at a museum, and Dean was a new artwork on display. Sam had to resist the urge to roll his eyes again. What was it with waitresses crushing on his brother? "What can I get you, Handsome?" she asked, her tongue flicking out and licking her red lips.

"Double cheeseburger. Fried egg on top. Fries on the side."

The waitress nodded, jotting the order down on her notepad. She then leaned over, resting a perfectly manicured hand on the booth behind Dean. "So, you boys just rollin' through town?" The question was aimed at all of them, but her eyes never left Dean the whole time.

"Yeah. We're working a case," Dean replied, giving her a charming smile.

"Too bad," the waitress continued. "Would have liked to show you around later when I got off work." She winked at him then, and Sam knew exactly what that meant. He was going to have to get a separate motel room tonight. Fantastic. They really _didn't_ have time for this.

She was definitely his brother's type, with her dark raven hair, azure blue eyes and shapely figure. Sometimes he didn't think Dean even had a type, though, since his child was proof he liked redheads, too. Sam glanced sideways at Dean to see his reaction, expecting his brother to be leering lasciviously at her the same way she had done to him, or Dean hastily writing down his number to give to her. Instead, he was shocked to see that A) Dean wasn't even looking her direction anymore, and B) Castiel was glaring at the poor woman like he wanted to smite her or something. Yikes. Sam decided to do damage control, just in case.

"Maybe we can come back here when we're finished," he interjected, gathering up the menus and handing them to her. "Thank you."

She frowned, but seemed to get the hint because she grabbed them and walked away in a huff. The younger Winchester breathed a sigh of relief. It was a good thing Castiel didn't actually have powers, or that poor woman would have been screwed. Besides, who did she think she was, flirting like that in front of his 8 year old niece?

"So I'm thinking we could hit the road for a few more hours then check into the motel," Dean continued, not even realizing what had just happened. "Then in the morning, drive the remaining 4 hours to Colorado."

"Sounds good," Sam responded, raking a hand through his long hair. "It would be nice if we can wrap the case up pretty quickly. I was thinking we could take Rhapsody skiing before we headed back home."

"Really?" the little girl squealed. "That would be so much fun!"

"Awesome," Dean laughed. "Then we can watch you fall on your ass, Sammy."

"Hey, I'm pretty decent on the slopes," Sam retorted.

"They taught you that at Stanford, eh?" Dean said, glancing out the window, the bitter tone evident in his voice.

Sam leaving for Stanford had always been a sore subject for them, but he tried to take the small jabs in stride. Dean tended to be passive aggressive when something really bothered him, because he hated to actually talk about things. Luckily, it was Dean who decided it was time for a subject change.

"So, how does it feel to be back out in civilization again, Cas?" Dean asked, turning his attention back to his friend.

Castiel smiled a little in return. "It feels nice. Thank you for bringing me along."

"I appreciate you offering to watch Dee for us. I don't like having to take her with us on hunts." Dean looked guiltily at his daughter, who was too busy coloring to notice it. "I rarely take her with us, because usually Bobby watches her, but sometimes he has to go on his own hunts, and... I'd rather have her with me."

"I understand. You really don't need to explain it to me."

"I hide from the monsters," Rhapsody said proudly. "Daddy says I'm good at that."

Sam felt his heart ache at the statement. He never wanted this life for his niece anymore than his brother did.

He could still remember taking turns getting up in the middle of the night when she was just a baby, and holding her in his arms while her green eyes stared up at him.

"Well you won't have to do that this time, kiddo. Cas is gonna be there."

"I'll watch over you," Castiel told her, very seriously.

Rhapsody snuggled against him for a moment. "You always do."

Their food finally came, and everyone dug in. Sam couldn't help but watch in awe as Castiel wordlessly cut Rhapsody's cheeseburger into four separate parts for her so that she could eat it better, before even worrying about his own. He looked over at his brother, who had this look of sheer adoration on his face that made Sam's heart melt. Would it be possible for Dean, Castiel and Rhapsody to be a family someday? Would the man in the trench coat retire with them on that farm with the fishing hole that the brothers had dreamed of?

Maybe it was possible for even someone like Dean Winchester to have an apple pie life.

 


	21. Fear and Loathing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Threats to a child, blackmail, threats of abuse

The Winchesters and Castiel ended up driving straight through to Colorado instead of stopping for the night.

They arrived there about 9 p.m. and after checking into a motel, the brothers laid down for 4 hours of sleep, with Rhapsody curled up next to her father. Castiel was laying down on his cot, just watching the rise and fall of Dean's chest, a wistful smile on his face. He was still planning on leaving the Winchesters forever - he just hadn't been able to do it yet. How odd it was for him to have emotions like this cloud his judgment.

He had tried to leave a week ago, when Gabriel had changed the sigils and begged him to go. He made it to the end of the driveway before Sam intercepted him and asked if he could help fix Rhapsody's playhouse. The little girl was so overjoyed by what he had done, that he had no choice but to remain there. The truth of his situation was obvious, though he didn't want to admit it. The very thought was troublesome enough.

He sighed, flipping over onto his back and staring at the cracked ceiling. What was he going to do now? Surely he couldn't live with the Winchesters for the rest of his life - no, _their_ lives. Eventually they would see that he never aged while they became wrinkled and gray. Eventually they would find out the truth. How they hadn't figured it out yet, he didn't know. Pure luck, perhaps. They weren't stupid people.

Castiel had been close to being exposed a couple times, like when Bobby had over-salted the fried potatoes and his insides burned and sizzled. Or when Dean asked him to grab something from his trunk, and he nearly got stuck on the devil's trap inside it. There was also the time when he accidentally drank a bottle of holy water that was for some reason inside the refrigerator. He had to lie and say that the water just 'went down the wrong pipe' as humans tended to say when they choked on liquids. Everyone believed him, of course. They had no reason not to.

The alarm on Dean's phone went off - a very loud guitar riff from a Led Zeppelin song - and the brothers began getting ready for the work ahead. Castiel watched as they systematically packed a duffel bag and slid various knives and guns into their jackets, or in the waistband of their pants. There were syringes filled with dead man's blood on Dean's thigh holster, and each of them had a machete strapped across their back. It was very different for the demon to see this side of the hunt, since he was usually the one being hunted. After a short while, the two Winchesters headed out into the night, the rumble of the Impala drifting into the distance.

Castiel glanced towards Dean's bed, where Rhapsody was still asleep. The child was probably used to all of this by now. He rose to his feet, silently padding to the bathroom. He had no need to use the facilities, of course, but he just wanted a moment alone to gather his thoughts. He clicked the door shut behind him and stared into the mirror, almost not recognizing the man looking back. It was still strange to see himself wearing something as human as a t-shirt and pajama pants, or the stubble that he had allowed to grow in. He had worn his trench coat for so long that it had become a part of him. He never thought he could survive without it, but now here he was. Babysitting a child and living with hunters.

He splashed some water on his face, enjoying the feel of the cool liquid on his skin. He knew he had to leave them - so why was it so hard to say goodbye? He had killed people before without a blink of an eye and now he was feeling... _things_. Emotions, doubts. Concerns for people other than himself. When had it all changed?

_"Hey, man. You okay?"_

Oh... Right.

He turned off the water and walked back into the motel room - immediately freezing at the terrifying sight before him.

There hadn't been many times in his life when Castiel had been so afraid of something that he could feel his own blood turn to ice. Even when being pursued by hunters, or demons, or strapped to a rack in hell awaiting torture, nothing compared to the sight of Crowley sitting on the bed next to Rhapsody, and stroking her hair while she slept. The grace inside him screamed for Castiel to grab the child and run - but the evil sludge that haunted him wanted to see Crowley kill the child who had made him so very _weak_.

Crowley slowly turned around and regarded him with a smirk. "Hello, Castiel."

"How did you find me?" the demon choked out, his feet feeling like they were rooted on the spot.

"I've always known where you were, Castiel. I was just waiting for the perfect time to come pay my favorite pet a visit."

Castiel's blue eyes flicked to the girl again, who continued to sleep, blissfully unaware to the danger she was in. "Alright. Let me grab my things, and we can go talk as long as you like."

There was a knowing look on Crowley's face now. "No. I think I'll stay right here. After all, you've been tasked with keeping her safe, haven't you? I would hate for Dean to come back and find her all alone."

"I - please leave her alone," Castiel pleaded. "I'll go back with you. I'll let you kill me, just please..."

"So this is what you've been reduced to," Crowley sneered. "Begging for the life of a human child. I never thought I'd see the day you'd be reduced to groveling."

Castiel didn't care that the King was trying to bait him into attacking. He knew very well that if he so much as moved against the other demon, Rhapsody would be dead in an instant. He had to try to think this through. "Okay. We can talk." He slowly sat down on his cot, the old springs squeaking as he moved.

"Good. I knew you'd see things my way." Crowley adjusted his red tie. "Now, there's the matter of my black-eyed boys and their untimely demise."

"They came after me tried to kill me, but then - " No. If he blamed the Winchesters then Crowley would go after them. "I dispatched them and ran away to safety."

Crowley burst into laughter, and Castiel wondered how the child hadn't awoken. "Ah, Castiel. The details don't matter. The point is they're dead, and now you owe me a debt. Those three idiots were worth far more than you ever were."

The words might have stung at one time, but now he couldn't care less. He had more important concerns.

"What would you have me do?"

"Pay back the debt, of course, and I'll even give you a choice." He slowly began to stroke the girl's hair again. "I can kill this girl right here and now, and you'll never have to see me again. Or - "

"No!" He rushed forward but was suddenly halted in his tracks. He could feel the weight of Crowley's power holding him still, and he struggled against it, terrified he would have to watch her die. Terrified Dean would lose his only child.

"Or, I can let them live, and you spend eternity being my slave."

"I'll do it."

"You didn't even let me tell you what you'll be doing."

"I don't care. Just spare their lives. Please."

"Keep in mind - this won't be like it was before," Crowley said with an evil glint in his eye. "I let you get away with so many things before..."

"Please - don't hurt her."

"Well, for the sake of my dramatic villain monologue, I'm going to tell you anyway." Crowley grinned at him. "You will kill whoever and _whenever_ I choose. Whether it's a harmless old lady, a helpless newborn baby, or a bus full of nuns. You _will_ do it without question."

"Yes. Anything." The words were bitter and vile on his tongue, and he wanted to throw up.

"There _is_ a silver lining, however," Crowley continued, rising from the bed and buttoning up his jacket. "I'm going to allow you to live with your new little family."

"Why?" Castiel nearly whispered, shocked he was even getting that much. He had expected Crowley to drag him back to Hell and shove him on the rack. The idea of being the King's personal hitman again sickened him, but he would cross that bridge when he came to it. Keeping the Winchesters safe was his mission now.

No matter what it took to accomplish that goal. Even if it meant losing himself completely...

"Now, now, Castiel. Why must you always assume I have some ulterior motive? Call it a gesture of... good faith on my part." Crowley walked over to him, his brown eyes flashing to dark, blood red. "Just remember that the second you fail me, I will kill them slowly and force you to watch. I wonder, though..." Crowley said, a finger tapping against his chin. "Would your precious Dean still trust you to watch his child if I forced you to burn down an orphanage?"

"Please - don't make me do that."

"If I tell you to, you will. Because it will mean keeping them safe. All to save Dean Winchester and his brat. Goodbye, Castiel. Enjoy pretending to be human with people who would kill you in a second if they knew the _real_ you." With a snap of his fingers, Crowley was gone.

Castiel ran over to the bed, checking on Rhapsody to make sure she was truly safe. As he got closer, he could sense the tiniest bit of demonic magic that Crowley must have used to keep her from waking up. He was almost grateful to the King for doing it, because he didn't know what he would have done if she had to witness what had just transpired. He looked down at his hands, the instruments he would use to kill innocent people at Crowley's behest. Were the Winchesters really that important to him that he would go even darker than he had before?

Yes. There was no other way. Anything to save Dean Winchester.


	22. Choices

Sam and Dean nearly died in the vampire nest.

They had been expecting maybe five vamps, six _tops_ , but soon they were surrounded by ten bloodsuckers all hankering to get a taste of that delicious Winchester blood. Back to back the brothers fought, swinging machetes wildly in every direction, ignoring the bruises and gashes and kicks they got, sweat and blood dripping down their faces. By the end, there were ten heads and the ten bodies to match them sprawled on the floor, crimson red splattered across the walls and floors in a macabre tableau.

Somehow, by some miracle, they would live to tell the tale.

They took a few moments to catch their breaths, holding onto each other so they wouldn't collapse to the ground, laughing nervously every now and again because they had survived.

"Shit. Can't believe... we did that... Sammy."

"Are you... okay... Dean?"

"Yeah... yeah... let's get back to... the motel."

Every movement hurt, every step made them nearly fall to their knees in agony, but they pushed on, not stopping for anything until they reached the Impala and slid in. Sam fell unconscious as soon as he landed in the passenger seat, and Dean drove as fast as he could so he didn't do the same. That was all they needed - him wrapping his car around a tree and killing them both. With a groan, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, surprised that it hadn't been broken in the fight, and dialed Castiel's number.

"Hello, Dean."

"Cas," he grunted out. "Need your... help."

"What happened? Where do I need to go?"

Worry was evident in the other man's voice, and Dean couldn't help but smile, despite the situation.

"Just need you to put out my... medical kit so we can patch ourselves up when we get back." Dean laughed a little, wincing as his ribs protested the action. "Found more vamps than we expected."

He heard movement on the other line, the sound of a duffel bag being unzipped. "I'll have everything ready immediately. And don't worry about trying to do this yourself. Let me help you both."

"Thanks, Cas."

"You did the same for me when I was near death."

Dean nodded, even though Castiel couldn't see. "No biggie. Be there... soon."

He hung up, and focused on the road, not letting his pain lull him to sleep. He _had_ to make sure that Sam was okay first, and that meant safely arriving to the motel. Ten minutes later, and relief flooded him when salvation came into view, with Castiel already waiting outside. He pulled the Impala to a stop, and Castiel went around to the driver's side to help him walk into the room. Dean waved him off.

"No. Help Sammy. Needs it... more."

Castiel looked like he wanted to protest, but then nodded, running around and slowly helping a barely conscious Sam to his feet. Before long, the brothers were laying on their beds, and Castiel was meticulously cleaning their wounds. Dean drifted in and out of sleep the entire time, hardly registering the blue eyed man or the care he was taking to wrap his injuries so that he didn't accidentally hurt Dean more. Occasionally, Rhapsody's worried face hovered over him, and he felt guilty that he had almost made her an orphan that night. It didn't get any easier whenever this happened, and he had to see that same expression every time. Maybe one day he could just be a normal dad, with their biggest concern being what they wanted to eat for dinner.

Eventually, he held her close to his body, finally allowing himself to succumb to glorious unconsciousness.

xoxo

Dean awoke to the smell of coffee and fresh baked donuts.

The sunlight had just started streaming through the window, and the birds were chirping happily outside. He glanced around the room and noticed Castiel sitting on his cot, watching a morning news show with his favorite mug in hand. Sam was still asleep on his bed, with Rhapsody laying next to him and coloring.

"Hey, sweetheart."

She looked up at him with a bright smile. "Mornin' Daddy. You feeling better?"

He nodded, slowly sitting up on his elbows. "Yeah, kiddo. Much better, thanks to Cas."

"Cas is a very good nurse," Rhapsody said, returning to her drawings.

"Yes, he is." He looked over at his friend again, who was giving him that shy smile of his that always made him blush just a little.

"Hello, Dean. I'm glad you're doing well. I was... worried about you."

Dean rose to his feet, ignoring the throbbing of his head or the pain in his ribs. At least it wasn't as bad as last night, though. He thought he was a goner for sure when those extra bloodsuckers piled into the already full house. _This_ he could handle.

Castiel quickly got up to help him, but Dean put a hand up to stop him.

"I got this. Just need some coffee."

"Can I at least get that for you?"

Dean frowned, hating to be waited on like that, but he reluctantly agreed. "Fine." He plopped down on the creaky cot, while Castiel went to fetch his coffee.

"Here you go." Castiel handed the mug to him and sat down.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Castiel laughing occasionally at something that was said, and Dean trying to fully wake up. "I like this show. We don't get it where we live."

The hunter glanced at the T.V. where four men were sitting around and talking about various social issues. "That's cuz it's a local show, Cas. We probably get something similar, you're just never up early enough to see it."

"Sometimes I am," Castiel protested, sipping his coffee. "I enjoy the quiet stillness of morning when everyone is asleep."

"It can be nice," Dean agreed, reaching over to the nearby box of donuts and snagging a bear claw. "Where'd you find these, anyway?"

"There's a small coffee house just up the block from here. The lady who works there was very nice."

Dean felt a small pang of jealousy at that, and just shoved a piece of the claw in his mouth. "Mmhmm."

"So, is the case all wrapped up then?" Castiel asked him. "Or do we need to stay longer to be sure?"

"I think it's all done. Sam was talking about taking Rhapsody skiing before we left though."

Castiel looked skeptical. "In your condition? You couldn't even walk last night."

"We've been through much worse, man. Much worse."

"I see."

"So, are you find with staying, then?"

"Of course. I've never been skiing before, so it would be a new experience."

Dean grinned at him. "Well, life is all about new experiences, buddy. Live it up."

"Being around your family is certainly one of them," Castiel said, returning the smile.

"I wanted to thank you... for helping us last night," Dean began, swallowing down the emotions that were rising in his throat. "I don't know what we would have done if you weren't here."

"I was happy to do it. I liked feeling useful to you both."

"You're always useful, man. Why would you feel otherwise?"

Castiel picked at the hem of his t-shirt. "I've just been worried that perhaps I've overstayed my welcome."

Dean shook his head. Castiel's presence in their house had been wonderful, and he could hardly remember what it was like before the man came to stay with them. "No, you haven't. Everyone loves having you there."

"And what about... you?"

Dean felt that pesky emotion clutch him again. "Yeah, Cas. You're my best friend."

Castiel looked at Dean like he had just handed him the moon. "I am?" he whispered, his voice barely audible.

Dean felt sadness at the reaction, wondering if Castiel had never been shown such kindness or companionship before. Perhaps that was why he had fallen into the trap of a silver tongued demon who treated Castiel like shit. "Of course. You mean a lot to me - to all of us. We all care about you, you know, and Dee adores you. She still goes on and on about the little tea party you guys had."

Castiel chuckled and looked down. "I had fun that day as well."

"Do you want to leave?" Dean asked him, almost afraid for the answer.

"I - don't want to. I just feel like I'm a burden to you and your family." Castiel met his gaze, those blue eyes filled with sorrow. "And I don't want you to be in danger because of me."

"Still worried about the demons?"

"Always. They have centuries to plot and plan, Dean." Castiel scrubbed a hand across his stubble. "They could choose to attack at any time."

"Then those demons will have to contend with _all_ of us if they choose to make a move against you."

"I don't understand."

Dean slung an arm around his best friend's shoulder. "Because you're family, and family always stands up for each other."

Dean saw tears well up in Castiel's eyes at the words. He really hated the touchy-feely moments, but he was perfectly willing to soldier through if it meant bringing a smile to Castiel's face again.

"If you want to leave, I'll buy you a bus ticket for wherever you want to go, and you can call us whenever you want. But if you want to stay - not that you _have_ to, of course, but it's really up to you - "

"What Dean's _trying_ to say is, 'please stay with us or we will tie your ass to a chair because he would miss you too much if you left' - I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the jist. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to soak in the tub for about eight hours." Sam dragged himself out of bed, ignoring the glare that Dean was shooting him from across the room.

"Thanks for that, Sammy," the older Winchester mumbled.

"Anytime, Dean."

"Yay!" Rhapsody squealed, jumping off the bed and running to hug Castiel. "Is Cas staying with us forever, Daddy?"

"That's up to him, sweetheart," Dean laughed, trying to avoid flailing limbs.

"I would like to remain with you, if that's alright," Castiel said, the words more of a question, than a statement.

"Yeah, Cas, I... need you here, man."

"Then here I'll stay."


	23. Killing Blow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Violence, blood, slight gore, mentions of past child sexual assault, attempted child abuse

Castiel was sitting at a coffee shop and reading a book, when Crowley finally came to him again.

It had been a couple weeks since the hunt in Aspen, Colorado, and every day the demon had been tense with worry and anticipation about receiving his first mission. The only thing that gave him hope was when Dean had told Castiel that he needed him and wanted him to stay. No one had ever said that to him before, and for the briefest of moments, he felt happy, and his tiny bit of grace sang with joy. The demon inside with him snarled and raged, however, angry that he had allowed himself to fall for a human, a _hunter_ no less- and the trouble he had gotten into because of it.

A lifetime of slavery was a very long time when you were immortal.

The King of Hell slid into the seat across from him, waving the waitress over and ordering a latte'. Castiel slowly lowered the book at his arrival, mentally preparing himself for whatever was about to be asked of him. He just hoped the man in the well tailored suit had only been kidding about buses full of nuns or newborn babies.

"Hello, Castiel."

"Crowley."

The King's latte' arrived and he slowly drank from the porcelain mug. "Did you enjoy Aspen?"

Small talk. Castiel _hated_ small talk, but he would humor Crowley if it prolonged the inevitable. "I learned that I am terrible at skiing," he said, drinking his chai tea and setting his copy of _The Fault in Our Stars_ aside. "Dean is much better at it than I am."

"I'm pretty terrible, myself. Never been one for sports, anyway." Crowley set his drink down and adjusted his tie. "So... how are you liking the domestic life?"

"It's fine."

"Seems rather dull, doesn't it? Housework, babysitting, sitting down together to eat family dinners..."

Castiel sighed, resting his arms on the table. Now he had enough of the small talk and was ready to just get this over with. "What can I do for you, Crowley?"

The other demon smirked. "And here I thought we were trying to be friends and have a pleasant conversation."

"Friends don't force each other to murder innocent people."

"I'm the King of Hell! Did you expect me to ask you to sew quilts for the homeless? Have a bake sale?" Crowley leaned forward. "If you want to decline, that's perfectly fine, you know. I'll just go pay a visit to the Winchesters - "

"No!" He was louder than he intended and a few people turned around and looked at them in surprise.

Crowley grinned, sitting back in his chair and bringing the mug to his lips again. "I thought so." He reached into his coat pocket and brought out a yellow slip of paper. It was so reminiscent of all those times in the past when Castiel had willingly went off and done Crowley's evil bidding. It was different now, though, because he actually _wanted_ to be a good person - the person Dean thought he was.

"Terrance Shafer. Pedophile. Rapist. Scum of the earth. He's molested ten kids so far, and still hasn't been caught."

Castiel stared down at the paper in confusion. "I don't understand. Why would you want me to kill him?"

"Call it - another gesture of good faith. You _were_ my best enforcer and salesman once."

The demon nodded, sliding the paper into his pocket. "I can handle him. He doesn't deserve to live if he's done those terrible things to children."

"I thought you'd appreciate it." Crowley tapped his fingers on the table. "After all, you've gotten quite close to that little girl, haven't you? I can hardly imagine how terrible you'd feel if you didn't go through with it, and that monster got a hold of her..."

Castiel felt anger boil inside him and he clenched his fists. "He won't get anywhere near her!" he growled out.

The King of Hell smiled wickedly. "Then go get him tonight, Castiel. Make him suffer for what he's done." He rose to his feet, leaving a folded up bill on the table. "For the latte'. Have a good day." He strolled out of the cafe', leaving Castiel to sit there and plan his night ahead. He wasn't thrilled about the idea of being Crowley's personal hitman, but he had no problem dispatching someone who would harm a child.

He finished his tea and headed home.

xoxo

He waited until everyone was asleep before he was ready to go on his mission.

Sam was the only one who was still awake when he looked into the living room, the younger Winchester pouring through old tomes that Bobby had collected over the years. The demon admired the hunter's dedication and thirst for knowledge whenever he came across something he didn't quite understand. A recent case they were working on had him stumped, and despite looking utterly exhausted, Sam still powered through so he could find answers and save more people.

Castiel quietly slipped out of the house and down the driveway, the gravel crunching under his feet. The devil's traps prevented him from being able to teleport directly away, because even though Gabriel had changed the sigils, the ones that remained still suppressed most of his powers. Once he was clear of the property line, he closed his eyes, picturing the address on the piece of paper. Within moments, he was standing in front of a dilapidated house that was barely a few blocks from the Singer house. He knew the location was in Sioux Falls, he just hadn't know how very close this monster had been to Rhapsody the entire time. He had to wonder if Crowley had purposely set all this up. Surely he would have known how cooperative Castiel would be once he learned this information...

He quickly poofed inside, and became sickened and angry when he came upon the scene in the kitchen. Terrance was standing there, roughly grabbing a small boy that appeared to be about the same age as Rhapsody. The man startled upon seeing Castiel just suddenly appear out of nowhere, losing his grip on the boy, who screamed and ran away. Castiel dropped the angel blade from his sleeve, ready to do whatever it took to take down the disgusting human in front of him. If there wasn't any evidence before of what Crowley had claimed, there certainly was now. Terrance had to be stopped.

"Who the fuck are you?" Terrance demanded, reaching into his pocket and bringing out a switchblade.

"I'm here to kill you for all the vile and repulsive things you've done."

The man laughed, a raw, throaty laugh that made it evident he smoked way too often. "Seriously? What are you, some kind of vigilante?"

Castiel took a step forward, his sword swinging in his hand. "I am justice, and tonight you will meet your fate."

"Sure ya are, Batman, now come and get me." Terrance lunged at him, but Castiel was ready. He swung the blade out, catching the man across the chest. Terrance cried out, hauling back and punching Castiel square in the face. It barely phased the demon at all.

"You like to hurt children?" Castiel snapped, bringing his elbow up hard to the other man's jaw in retaliation, a loud crack echoing against the aged yellow walls. "Try to hurt _me_."

Terrance laughed again, the sound only causing Castiel to become more annoyed by the man's very existence. "Sure, pal. Bring it on!" They fought some more, punches and kicks landing on both their bodies. A few times, the switchblade managed to cut Castiel's skin, but he ignored it, the rising rage in his chest fueling his desire to destroy this man who was more monster than human. The kitchen was getting more destroyed by the minute, appliances and dishes being used as weapons, a stove being used as a painful surface to slam Terrance's head down onto.

Before long, Terrance had fallen to the floor, blood oozing from various wounds on his face, chest and arms, fear in his brown eyes as he looked up at Castiel. "Looks like you beat me," Terrance breathed out, still trying to appear brave despite his current situation. "Think you can finish the job, hero? Think you can plunge your fancy little knife in my chest and save the day?"

"Why do you do this to children?" Castiel asked, giving the man some small chance to prove he wasn't completely evil. Not that it mattered, really, he still intended to kill him. Humanity had always been a fascination of his though, and he had never quite understood what caused them to suddenly become violent and hostile. To start wars over love or hate, to stab a man in the alley because they were short of money. Pedophiles, especially, rubbed him the wrong way.

"Because it's fun," Terrance replied with a grin, clearly proud of himself. "Children are so trusting, so innocent..."

"There's a little girl that I love," Castiel said menacingly. "And she trusts me to keep her safe, almost as much as she trusts her own father."

"How adorable," Terrance mocked, his lips curling into a sneer. "Tell me why I should give a fuck."

"Oh, I don't expect you to 'give a fuck' as you say, I just wanted you to realize that if you had brought harm to her, you would never be seen again." Castiel leaned close to him, his eyes flicking from blue to black. Terrance recoiled in fear at the sight. "You would suffer for days, weeks, maybe even months... and I would enjoy every single moment of it. Be glad that I got to you before you could even lay a finger on her, because I would paint the walls with your blood and entrails if you had. You would beg me for death, but I wouldn't give it to you. You wouldn't deserve the mercy."

"Shit, man. What are you?"

"I'm a demon." Castiel raised his blade up. "And now you're as helpless as those children you molested. I don't envy you where you're going, Mr. Shafer. I've been to Hell, and let me tell you - you're in for a really terrible surprise." He shoved the blade into Terrance's chest, a gasp leaving the man before he slumped forward, blood pouring from his mouth onto the floor in front of him. Castiel watched as the life left Terrance's eyes, his hand gripping the bloody blade so tight his knuckles were white.

"Is he dead?"

He whirled around, nearly forgetting the child that had been here when he had arrived. He quickly hid the blade up his sleeve again, kneeling down in front of the boy.

"Yes, he is. I'm sorry if I frightened you. Are you alright?"

"He took my twin sister a year ago," the boy said, his green eyes wide. "He came back for me to - finish the job. Thank you... for saving my life." He suddenly wrapped Castiel in a tight hug, tears flowing down his cheeks and soaking the shoulder of Castiel's trench coat.

"You're welcome. Let me take you home. Do you remember where you live?"

"No, I don't." The boy looked up at him. "Can you help me?"

There was only one thing he could do at this point, much as it he didn't want to get other people involved. He nodded to the child and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Dean answered after 4 rings. "Cas?"

"Hello, Dean. I'm... in a bit of a situation."

"What's wrong, man?"

"I was taking a walk around town because I couldn't sleep. I glanced in a window and noticed a man attempting to harm a child, so I ran inside to help."

"Are you okay? Is the kid alright?"

"We're both fine, but the man... I killed him, Dean. He was a pedophile and I - I saw a news story recently about him, and how he had molested ten other children. I wasn't going to involve you but the boy is here with me and I don't know where he lives. I'm sorry to disturb you at such a late hour."

There was silence on the other line for a moment, but then Dean's words made him feel a whole lot better about what he'd done. "I'm proud of you, Cas. Listen, tell me where you are and stay there. I'll grab Jody and we can take care of this together."

"Thank you, Dean."

"You did the right thing, Cas. I would have killed him myself, if I had the chance."

Castiel quickly gave him the address before continuing. "I was afraid because he lives so close to us... if he had gotten to Rhapsody - "

"Then one guy in a trench coat would be the least of his worries, trust me," Dean growled.

Castiel had always admired the unwavering loyalty and protectiveness that the hunter had for his family and loved ones.

He heard Dean get up and pad down the hallway. "Okay, Cas. We'll be there, soon."

Castiel hung up the phone, turning back to the boy who was clutching his coat like it was his lifeline. He gently pet the child's hair, trying to calm down down like he had done to Rhapsody a few times when she had a nightmare. It was funny how just a few months ago this wouldn't have come so naturally to him as it did now. But things had changed, and even though he had been tasked to kill the man, he had been able to save an innocent boy's life in the process.

Maybe it wasn't going to be all bad, after all.


	24. Love is never simple

Gabriel was worried. He had waited for weeks for his brother to contact him and let him know that he was safely away from the Winchesters. All he got instead was silence and a very bad feeling.

With a snap of his fingers, he landed in the driveway of Singer Salvage. He focused for a moment as he hid behind an old junker, using his grace to sense everyone who was inside. Almost immediately, he could feel the demonic force within those walls - and the evil sludge that resided inside his little brother. He sensed the bright, righteous soul of Dean Winchester, and that of the little girl sitting between them. Bobby and Jody Singer were in their room, watching something on T.V, while Sam, the younger Winchester, was in the kitchen making a sandwich. Castiel didn't appear to be in any danger, but it still annoyed the hell out of Gabriel that he hadn't listened to him about fleeing. How much longer could he possibly keep up this ruse? How had a house full of skilled hunters not figured it out yet? It was only a matter of time before they did.

Everyone in the supernatural world knew that the Winchesters hated demons more than any other monster.

His search for his Father hadn't proved fruitful. Every lead he acted on just spun him around in a circle, and his frustration grew by the day. Balthazar wasn't faring any better, not that he bothered himself with much lately except lots of orgies and too much booze. His brothers and sisters were starting to question if Dear old Dad was even coming back at all, and Gabriel knew that doubt was never a good sign. Pretty soon they would turn on each other, and there was always that one asshole that proclaimed themselves the new God in times of chaos.

Gabriel needed Castiel.

Before he fell, his younger brother had led entire Garrisons of Heaven into battle, always coming out the victor, the champion. The other angels had looked up to him once, a beacon of hope when sometimes there was none. The archangel wondered if helping Castiel redeem himself and become an angel again would even be possible. Surely if they worked together Gabriel could help save that little bit of grace that cowered inside the cage of darkness that was slowly overtaking Castiel. Even if it was minutely possible, he was going to try.

He started to walk up the driveway, trying to figure out how he would approach the situation. Waltzing up to a hunter's home base and announcing you were a supernatural creature never went well for anyone. No, he had to be tactful. Not that he was very good at that, of course. He was always the practical joker, the trickster, the one who never took anything seriously, because life was hard enough without laughing at yourself - or other people. The other archangels had little patience for his tricks, but it was still hilarious to see Raphael glare at him as a whoopie cushion slowly deflated under his ass. Angels had no sense of humor.

He must have been standing there a long time, because when he glanced up - he realized that he was looking into the barrel of Sam Winchester's gun.

The guy was pretty hot for a human, despite the weapon that he was now pointing in Gabriel's face. For a moment, he considered sending the hunter into some crazy alternate t.v. universe, but that could potentially blow his cover, and Castiel's. He had to admire the human's stealth though, because not many people could sneak up on him like that.

"Put your hands up."

He sighed, doing as he was commanded. "Listen, there's -"

"Who are you?" the hunter interjected. "Tell me now, or I'll shoot you in the face."

"Is this how you greet all your guests?" Gabriel said with a grin.

"You've been standing outside and staring at the house for ten minutes. Who are you?" Sam repeated, releasing the safety on his gun. Hunters apparently didn't have a sense of humor, either.

"My name is Gabriel," he answered.

"I'm going to need a little more information than that."

"I'm here to see Castiel."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, because anger flickered across Sam's face. That was interesting - the hunter apparently cared for his little brother. He didn't expect that.

"He's not here. Why do you want him?" Sam was lying to protect Castiel?

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. "I'm not here to hurt him, if that's what you're worried about."

"That's just one of my concerns, yes. What's your business with him?"

"Look, I'm his brother, okay? I've been worried about him because he was supposed to contact me a few weeks ago."

Sam slowly lowered the gun. "His brother? Gabriel? He told us about you."

"All good things I hope," Gabriel replied, cautiously lowering his hands. The bullets wouldn't have hurt him, of course, but if he didn't at least seem a bit concerned for mortal danger then that would just raise more questions.

"Mostly how you didn't approve his choice in boyfriend." Sam gave him a pointed look. What exactly has Cas told them? he wondered, not wanting to reveal too much yet.

"Ah, yes, the guy was a total dick."

"And a demon."

"Right."

Had Castiel told them the truth? Surely he wouldn't be alive if he had.

"So, he told you, huh? About demons?"

Sam glanced curiously at him. "You mean how they attacked him and used him as bait for us?"

"I just wasn't sure what you guys knew. Didn't want to say something that would get him hurt."

"Castiel is family now. We'd never hurt him." Sam brushed his hair out of his face. "So, why now are you coming here after all this time? Where were you when he got attacked?"

"I was... away. I didn't even know what was going on," Gabriel replied guiltily. "Him and I have been out of touch for years."

"Yeah, he told us how your dad tossed him out."

Sam sounded very bitter about it. Gabriel could relate.

"Still, you should have been there."

"That's one way of putting it."

The image of his brother being tossed into Hell wasn't exactly one he would ever forget. For years he had been so full of guilt and regret that he hid in the farthest reaches of the solar system, refusing to talk to anyone. Balthazar was the first one to seek him out, when Castiel had begun taking lives for the King of Hell. He had stood by and waited, hoping that the former angel would stop before darkness overcame him completely. It just got worse from there. The day he met Castiel at the park made him realize just how truly lost Castiel was. But here with the Winchesters? What was keeping him from leaving? What was making him willingly stand in the flames and get burned?

"Gabriel?"

He snapped back to reality and looked up at the incredibly tall Winchester. "Sorry. Just dwelling on the past."

"It's never good to do that." Sam sighed. "Look, whatever is going on between you and Cas is your business, but I'm going to go inside and ask him first if he even _wants_ to see you. If he doesn't then you need to leave. Got it?"

Gabriel had to admire the way Sam was protective over Castiel. A little annoyed, yes, but he admired him all the same. "I'll just wait here, then."

Castiel walked outside a few minutes later. Gabriel could see both brothers standing near the window, the distrust clear on their faces. So _both_ of them cared deeply for Castiel... Sam had called him family, after all. Maybe his all worries had been unnecessary and everything was perfectly fine.

"Gabriel, what are you doing here?" his brother asked cautiously.

"I had to make sure you were alright. I told you weeks ago to get out and yet you stayed. Why?" Gabriel asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

Castiel paused, then glanced back towards the window, where Dean's gaze met his. "I had to stay. You wouldn't understand."

Gabriel followed the look exchanged between the two. "You and Dean?" he whispered, fear circling his heart. "You're in love with a _human_?"

The demon turned back around, blue eyes full of resignation. "We aren't together, but yes I - do love him."

"No." Gabriel shook his head in disbelief. "No you _can't_!"

"I know you worry about me, brother, but there's no need. They've all treated me very well."

"He's the reason you've stayed," Gabriel said, realization dawning. "He's the reason you've stayed here and put yourself in danger this whole time, just waiting to be found out!"

Castiel put a hand on his shoulder. "Please understand - "

Gabriel shook him off. "You can't stay here. You got too close and now if they find out, they will kill you. Humans are dangerous when it comes to betrayal, Castiel!"

The next words that his brother spoke nearly ripped his heart in half.

"Then let them kill me. At least I would have felt love before I died."

"I'm sorry," Gabriel said softly. "I should have helped you all those years ago."

"That doesn't matter anymore." Castiel walked a few paces away. "Like you said, they could find out at any time about what I am, and then it would be all over for me."

"But it doesn't _have_ to be," Gabriel insisted, trailing behind. "Part of the reason I came is to help you redeem yourself."

"There is no redemption for me," Castiel said sadly. "I can feel my grace dwindling away."

"Then... just let me stay with you." Even if he couldn't fix Castiel or Heaven, then at least he could make up for lost time. "Let me be your brother again. Please."

"You've always been my brother," Castiel replied. "You just stopped seeing that."

Gabriel shook his head. "That's not true. I was just selfish - worried that I'd be cast out, too. It was wrong of me."

Castiel threw his hands up in frustration. "So now that Father has abandoned all of us, you want to be a family again?" His brother had a right to be angry, and Gabriel knew that.

"I always wanted it. This just gave me the kick in the ass to go my own way. If you want me to leave, then I will. I'll go and you never have to see me again."

"And if you stay?"

"I'll be your annoying big brother again," Gabriel said proudly. "Here to ruin your day and cockblock your night!"

Castiel blushed at that. "We haven't - Dean and I aren't -"

Gabriel got serious again. "I don't agree with it, but... you're a whole lot different than the last time I saw you. I guess I have those two knuckleheads to thank for that."

"Sam and Dean are good men."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll believe it when I see it." Gabriel clapped his hands together. "Well, are you gonna take me in to meet the parents or what?"


	25. Who do you love?

Dean didn't like Gabriel.

To him, Gabriel was a cocky, arrogant asshole who thought he was God's gift to earth or something. Dean had been less than thrilled when Sam had walked into the living room yesterday and announced that Gabriel had shown up and wanted to talk to his little brother. Naturally, Dean wanted to follow his friend outside and give the guy a piece of his mind, but Sam stopped him, so they both stared creepily out the window instead. Still, it was suspicious that the guy suddenly turned up out of the blue.

Where was he when Castiel was bedridden and could barely move? _Dean_ was the one who nursed him back to health, not the short douche-bag currently eating pancakes with the rest of the family like he belonged. He was surprised that Bobby had let him stay here, too, though he suspected Jody had a lot to do with that. She always did have a soft heart.

"Mmm... these are delicious, Mrs. Singer!" Gabriel said, even adding a dramatic tummy rub to the end of the sentence.

Dean just rolled his eyes.

Underneath the table, Sam kicked his shin, and he shot his younger brother a glare.

"Please, call me Jody," she replied. "And I'm glad you enjoy them! I always make them on Sunday mornings when the family's all together."

Gabriel grinned at her, stabbing another piece of pancake with his fork. "Guess I came just in time then."

"How long are you gonna be staying?" Dean asked, earning another kick to the shin. He winced and kicked Sam right back. Jody gave them both the 'Mom look' and they both focused intently on their plates.

Gabriel glanced at him for a moment, slowly chewing while he contemplated the question. "I didn't really have a time limit in mind. I hope that's okay? I just wanted to see my baby bro." He glanced at Castiel, who smiled softly. "I made a lot of mistakes in my life, and going so long without talking to Cassie here was one of the worst things I've done."

"Cassie?" Dean asked with a raised brow. He could see Sam prepare to kick his shin again, until Jody pointed a fork at him. Dean smirked behind his glass of orange juice. Served him right.

Castiel sighed. "He used to call me that when I was younger. He thinks it's endearing, but I find it insulting."

Gabriel reached over and ruffled his brother's dark hair. "Don't worry, bro. I still think you're a mighty and fearsome warrior!"

Dean felt angry for some reason that Gabriel was treating his friend like a child, but he knew what it was like to be a big brother. He had been accused of doing the same thing to Sam before, especially when Dean feared for his life. He speared his sausage with his fork and shoved it into his mouth to avoid some angry retort that would earn more bruised calves.

"I handled my own quite well against those demons," Castiel said proudly, looking across the table at Dean. Dean did admire the way Castiel had managed to survive the attack in the bakery, but it had been obvious from his injuries that he was mostly trying to defend himself, not actually fight, even though the demons were trying to kill him.

He saw a different side to his friend when he went to the pedophile's house and found Castiel standing there, covered in blood, a crying child pressed against his side. A side that was brave and noble. Dean felt no love loss for the dead man on the floor, and was actually proud that Castiel had taken action when he thought a kid was in danger. It also showed that the blue eyed man would stop at nothing to protect someone, especially if it was Rhapsody. After all, part of his motivation for taking the guy out was because of how close he was in proximity to Dean's daughter. Dean had never been one to condone the murder of a human, but sometimes there was a gray area, and things didn't always work out the way you hoped. He would rather be safe than sorry when it came to a monster like Terrance Shafer.

Jody had confirmed that he had taken over ten children for the past five years, but there was never enough evidence to convict him. With the little boy's testimony, Jody was able to close the case and give closure to all the families who had been living with a nightmare all that time. And all because Castiel ran headlong into danger.

There was still cuts and bruises on his friend's face, but Dean saw it as a reminder of all the good that was inside him. He just didn't think Castiel saw it, though. Maybe one day he could help him with that, even if he had the same problem himself.

xoxo

Dean was sitting in his room later that day when there was a knock on the door. He glanced up to find Sam standing in the doorway, that familiar look on his face that said 'we're about to have a huge heart to heart, Dean, and you can't escape it'.

Dean sighed, putting his Stephen King book aside and waving him in. Sam had never understood why Dean enjoyed the author so much, since everyday was like a frickin' Stephen King novel for them, but then again, his younger brother didn't like Halloween, either.

"Did you bring the ribbons so we can braid our hair too, Sammy?" Dean asked, getting up and closing the door. He so didn't want to do this right now, but Sam was nothing if not determined, and would wait it out until Dean caved.

Sam threw him a bitch face. "Real mature, Dean."

The older Winchester put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. We can talk. Where is everyone?"

Sam sat down on the edge of Dean's bed, hands folded in his lap. "Cas and Gabriel went into town with Jody to buy groceries. Bobby's outside with Dee."

Dean nodded, leaning back against his headboard. "Alright. What's up?"

"I wanted to talk about you -"

"Okay, what -"

" - and Cas," Sam continued, and Dean immediately frowned.

"What about me and Cas?" he asked slowly, already not liking where this was going.

"When are you going to tell him how you feel?"

Dean's mouth felt dry then, like someone had just shoved a ball of cotton into it. This was the _last_ thing he wanted to talk about, especially with his brother. "What do you mean, how I feel? Dude's my friend."

"Just your friend?" Sam pressed, looking entirely unconvinced.

Dean couldn't blame him really. The two of them spent almost 24 hours a day together, how could Sam not notice? Still, those feelings - which may or may not exist - had been locked away for a reason, never to see the light of day.

"Okay, my best friend, then. Happy?"

"Dean..."

"What do you want me to say, Sammy? Are you forgetting that conversation we had just before Cas called me for help?" Dean asked, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I meant it then and I mean it now. We can't afford attachments."

"Bobby's making it work," Sam said. "Him and Jody are happy."

"Yeah, but they don't have targets on their backs, either. Not like us."

Dean was glad that Bobby didn't have the same enemies the Winchesters did. He didn't think he could handle losing another dad in his life.

"Why did you ask Cas to stay?" Sam questioned, using that puppy dog look of his that usually made witnesses melt and tell him everything. Dean really hated that look, because it tended to work on him, too.

He sighed in resignation. "Because I'm selfish, that's why. The truth is, I should have made him leave a long time ago, but Dee's attached to the guy, and Jody and Bobby like having him around -"

"What about you?"

Dean shrugged. "I like having him around, too. He's good with Dee."

"I agree."

"We're hunters, Sam. We don't have time for... romance." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you forcing the issue, anyway?"

"Because I want you to be happy, Dean, and Cas makes you happy. You just don't see it." Sam turned to face him more, his eyes big and earnest. "When you, Cas and Dee are hanging out together, what do you feel?"

Dean thought about the question, remembering all those times he had gone to the park with them, or even just headed into town for a burger. It was simple, and wonderful, and he always wished it could last forever. "It felt comfortable," he said finally. "Like family. But eventually we're gonna have to hit the road again."

"Yeah, and what's stopping Cas from coming with us like he did last time?"

"Sam..."

"Listen. You always hate leaving Dee behind when we go on a hunt, right? If Cas comes along, he can keep her safe in the motel while we finish the job."

"I'm not gonna use him as my personal babysitter!"

"And I don't expect you to, Dean. I'm talking long term here."

Dean huffed a laugh. "You expecting me to marry the guy or what?"

"No." Sam smiled. "But it wouldn't hurt to take him out on a date first, just to see where things go."

Dean hated when his brother made more sense than he did. "You don't even know if he's interested in me," he replied. "For all you know, he just sees me as a brother or something."

It was Sam's turn to laugh. "Riggghht. And angels are going to fall out of the sky." He theatrically lifted up his arms.

"What is it with this family and their obsession with angels?" Dean groused. "As if Jody doesn't have enough figurines all over the place."

"You're getting off the subject."

"I know, I know. Ugh. You're such a girl sometimes, Sammy."

Sam grinned at him, triumph in his hazel eyes. "So, are you going to ask him out or not? At least you'll know how one way or the other."

"Yeah just... give me time. I've kinda been out of the dating scene for a long time, now." Not that there was ever dating involved in the men and women he took back to the motel rooms during hunts. He wasn't proud of the fact that he never called any of them back the next day, but he had decided long ago that he could never bring a civilian into the life with him. Enough lives had been damaged that way. His father John, for instance, had been forced into it when his mother Mary had been killed by a demon in Sam's nursery. The road to revenge was often a lonely one, which was why it was Bobby who had raised the two of them most of the time. At least John had the good sense to do that much.

"Thanks, Dean." Sam stood up, stretching out his long limbs. "I'm going to go take a nap, then try to find us a hunt. I'm getting stir crazy and I think Bobby is tired of all of us hanging around so much."

"Sounds good. See ya, Sam."

When his brother left, he curled up on his bed and stared for a moment at the picture on the far wall of Sam, Castiel and him standing in front of the Impala. He hadn't really noticed before how Castiel's blue eyes softened whenever they landed on Dean, or the way his own green eyes betrayed his true feelings about his best friend. He would wait until after the hunt to ask Castiel out - he'd hate to go through all the trouble of asking him just to die before they could actually go.

Dean Winchester - ever the optimist.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNINGS: Violence against a priest, blasphemy

Castiel didn't like shopping much.

Many things in his new life were different - like eating food and babysitting an 8 year old child, for instance. If he had been told even a year ago that he would be responsible for the daughter of a hunter who hated demons, he would have stabbed whoever told him the foolish lie in the face. Not that Dean had ever explicitly asked Castiel to do so, but somewhere along the line protecting Rhapsody had become his mission, and he truly enjoyed doing it.

Caring for her gave him a new purpose, and almost made him forget that he was the King of Hell's puppet, and that his new life could be taken away at any moment. He had been with them for almost two months now, but there were still many things that escaped his understanding. He found himself to be constantly irritated when he screwed something else up that humans had their whole lives to perfect. He was a demon, and yet he still failed at the most simplest of tasks. The Winchesters/Singers were very patient with him despite how often he accidentally dropped a dish, or somehow managed to set spaghetti noodles on fire. He wondered what they must have think of him whenever he messed up like that.

Did they assume he was just a man who had led a very sheltered life up to this point? It was almost embarrassing.

The worst thing was when he couldn't figure out how to turn on the shower. Dean very patiently showed him the knobs, and which way they turned to get just the right temperature, all while Castiel stood there wanting to crawl under the bathroom rug and hide. He also had no idea how the hell Dean Winchester managed to wake up in the morning looking like some sort of beautiful Adonis while Castiel ended up looking like a drunken homeless man. It didn't seem fair.

Pretending to be human was _hard._

He was lingering in the bakery aisle now, his blue eyes scanning over the various pies and cakes that were arranged in perfect harmony with each other. Jody usually baked the pies for Dean, but Castiel wanted to give him something special, as a sort of 'thank you' for all that he had done for the demon. At least, that's what the research told him when he looked online the other day. Humans gave each other gifts to show appreciation. Since he doubted that the hunter would like a stuffed teddy bear, or a bouquet of flowers, he opted for the least awkward thing instead.

He had just decided on an apple strudel pie, when he felt the presence of another demon. He tensed, slowly turning around and facing whoever had decided to pay him a visit.

It was Crowley. Of course.

"What do you want?" Castiel asked, picking up the pie from the display and shoving it into the red basket in his hand. "Someone is going to see you here."

"Look at you, all domestic," The King said with a grin, ignoring Castiel's concern. "Never thought I'd see the day."

Castiel sighed. He wasn't in the mood for this. "Is there something I can do for you?" he asked, his tone less than friendly.

Crowley glared back at him. "Don't mistake my kindness for weakness, Castiel. I simply thought that since we have to spend an eternity together, it wouldn't hurt to be amicable to each other."

"You're making me kill people!" Castiel hissed. "How can I perceive that as anything but sadistic?"

"It is only because I once cared for you that I'm even attempting a non-hostile approach whenever I assign you a new target." Crowley leaned closer to him. "But if you keep being so rude, I might have to take it out on your new boyfriend."

"He's _not_ my boyfriend!" Castiel retorted, then paused, realizing what Crowley had just said. A new target? He still had all the bumps and bruises from the last one he had eliminated, since he hadn't been able to use his powers to heal himself. "Already?"

"Yes, already." Crowley pulled out a slip of paper and handed it to him. "Father Grady. A local priest."

Castiel's mouth dropped open. This had to be some sort of sick joke at his expense. He had never killed anyone from the church before, and the very thought made him feel repulsed. "Wh-what? You can't be serious."

Crowley was angry now, his mouth in a thin line. "You are pushing it, Castiel. If you don't take this assignment and do as I say, I will go find Jody Singer and slit her throat. Then I'll kill your brother, just as an extra motivator."

"How do you know-"

"I have my ways." Crowley looked at him smugly. "Besides, that pure and fluffy Archangel's grace is like a bloody beacon. It's making my skin crawl just to be this close to it."

Castiel knew that feeling very well. It was only because he kept himself distracted that he hadn't gone insane and killed his brother on accident. The holy, untouched grace inside Gabriel was constantly making his inner demon hiss and snarl in disgust.

"If it'll make you feel any better," Crowley continued. "The dear Father Grady isn't exactly holy. He's been stealing from the congregation for years. He even got a married woman pregnant and then denied the child. Get rid of him. Now."

With a snap of his fingers, Crowley was gone.

xoxo

It was getting harder to sneak out of the house at night, especially with Gabriel constantly around and never needing to sleep. This new venture was risky, and Crowley knew it. Castiel suspected the demon got a lot of amusement from the terrible situations he put Castiel into. His only silver lining was that the priest was a bad man, and so he tried to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. Otherwise, he was no better than Crowley.

Gabriel was standing by the front door, of course, with a look on his face that indicated he was already well aware of what Castiel was about to do tonight. There was disapproval in those whiskey gold eyes, and Castiel felt sick to his stomach, wishing he could just run back upstairs, change his mind, and hope Crowley never found out. He couldn't take the risk though, especially since that Gabriel was a fresh new target for Crowley to threaten. He realized more and more that attachments were a dangerous thing to have.

"You're doing it again, aren't you."

It wasn't even a question - it was a statement of resignation.

Castiel avoided his brother's gaze, adjusting the trench coat around his frame. "I have to. There is no other choice."

"Why, Castiel? Aren't you safe here?" Gabriel whispered. "Isn't that one reason you've stayed?"

"The Winchesters aren't safe," he replied, finally meeting Gabriel's eyes for a moment.

Gabriel stared at him in shock. "Wait a minute... did he threaten to _kill_ them if you didn't do what he says?"

Castiel neither confirmed nor denied it, and simply took a few steps towards the door. "I will be back soon, brother."

Gabriel grabbed him roughly by the sleeve. "You can't do this! You are so close to becoming yourself again!"

"That's not true and you know it," Castiel snapped, the mere touch of his closest brother making his demonic nature rise up in defiance. "Even you being so close to me is making me repulsed. I don't want it to be that way, Gabriel. I want to hug you again, and feel my grace dance with yours, but whatever I have left is just a wisp of what I used to be." He shrugged out of Gabriel's grasp. "Even if I can't save myself, then at least I can save them, the people who believed in me when no one else did. I owe them that much."

"Castiel, please..."

"I don't expect you to understand," the demon interjected, this conversation reminiscent of the day they spoke in the driveway. "but I am asking you to stand by me. One day all my terrible deeds will catch up to me, Gabriel, I have no doubt of that. But when that happens, I just hope that I can hold your hand while you watch me fall." He stepped out the door and into the night, feeling tears threaten to slip down his cheeks.

He stood there for a moment, hearing Gabriel slowly walk back upstairs. He hated being so harsh to his brother, but there was no sense in sugarcoating any of this. He was on his way to kill a man of God - if he wasn't damned to Hell for eternity, he surely would be now.

xoxo

He found Father Grady sitting outside the church next to a fountain, luckily. Or unluckily, depending on how one looked at it. He wouldn't have even been able to enter the church to finish his mission, thanks to the unholy entity swirling inside him.

The priest looked up as he approached, offering a friendly smile to the stranger in the tan trench coat. Castiel had almost hoped for hostility, so that this would be a little easier to handle. Definitely unlucky.

"Hello, young man. Beautiful evening, isn't it?"

Castiel glanced up at the stars, the twinkling lights a constant reminder of what he had once been. He used to sit up there with his brothers and sisters, watching his Father create entire worlds and galaxies. A true sight to behold, that he would never get to see again. "Yes. They are magnificent."

"You're out pretty late. Are you in need of council?"

Castiel focused his attention back on the priest, the angel blade in his sleeve cold against his skin. The irony wasn't lost to him that the statue in the middle of the fountain was that of his brother Gabriel, in all his angelic glory. Crowley truly had a despicable sense of humor. "Council... there is no one who can help me now."

"That's not true." The priest's brows furrowed as he studied Castiel. "What about God?"

The demon found himself laughing at the absurdity at that. The priest looked at him with worry. "God is the reason I am lost forever."

"No one is lost forever, my son. You just need to have faith."

"Faith is for broken men who still have hope. I... am just broken."

Father Grady stood, walking a few steps closer to him. "You have been through a trying time. That much is clear. Putting faith in God and His plan will bring that hope back again. He is a loving God -"

"My Father has abandoned us, Priest." Castiel looked at him directly in the eye. "He was the one who threw me into Hell! Does that sound like a loving God to you?"

The priest looked afraid now. "I-I don't understand what you're talking about, young man. Are you being metaphorical?"

"I wish I was." Castiel dropped the knife from his sleeve and the other man tracked his movement, his eyes growing wide as he saw the blade. "But you will see soon enough just how bad Hell is, for all you've done."

Father Grady put his hands out. "Please. I don't know what terrible things have happened to you, but I can help you fix this. I can see that deep down you are a good man with a bright soul! Surely there is something in you worth saving still!"

Castiel laughed again, slowly swinging the blade in his hand. "You are a liar. If you could truly see inside me, you would recoil in fear at the evil, twisted thing that holds my grace captive." He took a step forward, mere inches from the priest. "Now it is time for me to complete my mission."

"What have I done to deserve this?" the priest cried out, trying to quickly back up. "I am a good man, a giving man!"

"You are a thief who steals donations from your own church. You helped a married woman commit adultery."

The man looked confused at his words. "What? I have never done any of those things! Please, you must believe me!"

"Then you won't have to worry about Hell in the afterlife," Castiel replied, his voice monotone.

The priest began to pray. With one quick movement, he brought the blade up, and plunged it into the man's chest. A scream tore from the priest's throat, and Castiel closed his eyes, feeling the blood drip onto his hand and the sleeve of his coat.

"I hope... that one day... you... will be saved..." the priest choked out.

Castiel looked back at him, shocked that even in his dying moments the man was more concerned about the demon than his own impending death. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I had no other choice..."

"I... forgive you..." The life drained from Father Grady's blue eyes, and his body crumpled forward. Castiel caught him in his arms, gently lowering him to the ground. He felt guilt clench his heart at what he had done. What if the priest was telling the truth? But then again, Crowley had been right about the pedophile, so surely the priest was just as bad as the King had claimed.

"Congratulations, Castiel."

He whipped around, holding his bloody blade in front of him. Crowley stood there, hands in his pockets, a devilish smirk upon his face.

"For what?" he asked slowly.

"For killing an innocent man - and a priest at that. That's pretty much as dark as it gets, huh?"

His stomach dropped and he slowly fell to his knees next to Father Grady's body, the hand holding the blade shaking. "Wh-what?" he whispered.

Crowley casually walked over to him, the click of his shoes on the pavement sounding like thunder in Castiel's ears. "I lied. He was a good man who helped build orphanages and shelters for the poor. The man could have been a Saint."

"How could you?" Castiel breathed, the world spinning around him. He had been tricked! Of course he was... Crowley was the King of Hell - the most vile and manipulative being he knew.

Crowley leaned down, his shadow looming over him. "I told you, Castiel. It doesn't matter who I want killed, you will do it. You thought it was going to be easy after I sent you to the pedophile, didn't you?" The King chuckled. "Ah, my dear little angel. It's only a matter of time before you are nothing but the mindless killer I've been grooming you to be."

"No. I won't do it."

"Now, now. Don't be so hasty with your refusal. I might have to grab one of your precious Winchesters to keep as collateral until you do what I say."

"Just torture me. Leave them out of this!"

"Sorry, I can't do that. See, you want to be punished, Castiel. You _want_ me to kill you. But that's why I have your family as leverage." He put his mouth close to the demon's ear. "What have I always told you about love?"

"Love... is a weakness."

"And now you have allowed me to use that against you. Have I taught you nothing?" Crowley straightened up, adjusting his jacket. "I'll contact you soon about your next task. You should go home and clean up, before they find you out here covered in blood next to a dead priest. Try to explain that one away."

With a laugh, and a snap of his fingers, Crowley was gone.

Castiel wept. He could do nothing else.


	27. The Guardian

A few days had passed since he murdered the priest.

The guilt weighed on him heavier than it ever had before, and he could see the worry and concern on the faces of those around him who called him family. Gabriel especially, looked anguished every time his eyes met Castiel's. The archangel had learned who it was that his little brother had been sent to kill, and nearly left the house then and there in a flurry of golden wings and rage. The demon supposed that it was only out of obligation that Gabriel had chosen to stay instead. In some selfish way, he was glad that he did. In other ways, it just made things even worse.

Sam had found a hunt in Montana - a pack of werewolves terrorizing a small town. Dean asked Castiel to come along and he quickly agreed, happy to get away from Gabriel's disappointed glare. Castiel could tell that there were more reasons than just watching Rhapsody behind the invitation. Perhaps they thought that he was depressed, and the fresh air would do him some good. Gabriel chose to stay behind at the house and help out where he was needed, much to Castiel's relief.

His feelings for the oldest Winchester had only grown by the day, though he had no longer had intentions of pursuing him. At one time, he had considered asking Dean to accompany him to the coffee house - another human ritual he had discovered online - but he had never gathered enough courage to do so. Now, with what he had done to the priest, he knew that they could never be together, even if Dean somehow felt the same way he did. Dean Winchester was a good and righteous man, and Castiel was an evil demon who had grown far too attached.

_"Love... is a weakness."_

_"And now you have allowed me to use that against you. Have I taught you nothing?"_

He didn't regret the feelings he had for Dean and his family, no matter what was going to happen to him in the end. For the briefest of moments, Dean had made him feel like he wasn't a demon damned for eternity, but a normal man that was deserving of caring, kindness and compassion. Even the day they met, the hunter had shown him all of those things. If any of them got hurt now, it would be his own fault. He should have just teleported away the moment he saw those green eyes locking on his, even if that would have revealed his true nature. He wouldn't have been given Dean's business card, he wouldn't have even seen him again, and none of them would currently be pawns in Crowley's Big Game.

It was early afternoon, and Rhapsody was playing with her dolls on the bed she shared with Dean, while the two brothers were out taking care of the werewolf problem. Castiel was sitting on the couch, just watching her for a moment with a wistful smile on his face. He wondered if he would ever get to see the little girl grow up to be a woman. Would he be here to see her learn to drive in Dean's car? Would he be able to witness Sam take her to colleges to help her pick out the right one? He doubted it.

But if he didn't leave soon, Dean wouldn't get to see those things, either.

The brothers barreled through the door, laughing and clapping each other on the backs. Rhapsody jumped up and hugged them both, squealing in happiness. Castiel knew that every time her father and uncle left the little girl worried she would never see them again. She had only revealed that to him once, and begged him never to repeat it to anyone. She didn't want them to be concerned about her while they were out trying to save people. She was very much like Dean in many respects.

"Daddy! Uncle Sam!"

"Hey there, kiddo," Sam said, kissing the top of her head. "Did you have fun with Cas?"

"Yeah! He told me he's going to take me to the park in a little while!"

"That's awesome," Dean laughed, scooping her up in his arms. "It's way bigger than the one where we live."

"It even has a water slide!" Rhapsody squealed. "I wanna go on it 100 times!"

"You do that," Sam told her, plopping down on his bed and stretching out. "Ugh, I need a shower."

"Yeah you do. You were stinking up my car, bitch!"

"Shut up, Jerk. You smell just as bad!"

Castiel smiled at the scene between the brothers. He had always admired the close relationship they had - the one he once had with Gabriel. Now it was broken, just like everything else in his life.

"Hey man, you okay?" He startled, realizing that Dean was standing in front of him, a worried look on his face. He got a sense of Deja Vu' at that, except this time there was much more warmth and tenderness in Dean's gaze than there had been on the day they met.

"Yes, I'm fine. I apologize. I take it the hunt went well?"

Dean sat down on the couch. "You looked like you were deep in thought. Wanna talk about it?" he asked, more concerned with Castiel's feelings as usual.

"I was just thinking about how Gabriel and I used to be close like you and Sam are." Castiel sighed. "I miss it."

"It'll take time to repair your relationship," Dean said, with a pat on the shoulder. "Just be patient."

_If only you knew that there's no way to repair it anymore..._

"Yes, You are probably right," he replied, just so Dean could think he was helping - the man enjoyed feeling useful.

The hunter glanced behind him at his brother and daughter, who were coloring together on the bed. "Can we talk for a second, Cas?" he continued, in a lowered voice.

"Aren't we talking now?" Castiel tilted his head to the side.

Dean huffed a laugh. "You're always so literal." He ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to go grab a bite to eat with me tonight, after you and Rhapsody get back from the park."

"Do you mean - just you and I?"

_Please don't mean that... it could ruin everything._

"Yeah." Another nervous laugh from Dean. "I saw this really nice place when we drove into town."

"As in..."

"...a date." Dean cleared his throat, the tips of his ears reddening. "It's cool if you don't want to, I just thought that maybe we could spend some time together -"

"No."

The pain of the simple two letter word was reflected in Dean's face. The human looked like his heart had been ripped out of his chest. Castiel wanted to take it back as soon as the words left his mouth, and say he was 'just kidding' or something, but he knew he couldn't. Crowley had been right. Attachments were leverage that the King kept using against him. The sooner he pulled away from Dean, the less Crowley could hold over his head. His love for the man in front of him was the strongest thing inside him now, but it was also the most dangerous.

"I - okay, Cas. If that's how you feel..."

The demon could see the hunter was just begging him to give him a chance, to reconsider his offer, leaving a window open so he could recant his statement.

"It is," Castiel replied firmly, forcing himself to look offended, forcing himself to look like he _actually_ meant it so that Dean could move on and fall in love with someone else - someone who wouldn't put him in harm's way.

"I think there has been a misunderstanding here, Dean. You have been a dear friend to me but - we can never be anything more than that."

The hunter nodded, his green eyes watery with unshed tears. "Yeah. Okay."

"I have no interest in you at all, romantically."

Castiel was close to ripping his own heart out at this point, hoping that it might hurt less than the agony he was feeling at speaking those horrible, untrue words. 

Dean cleared his throat again, rising quickly to his feet. "Yep. No problem, man. Sorry if I upset you. It won't happen again."

Castiel believed him, too. This was a one time offer and he had just thrown it away to save Dean's life. Dean Winchester did not pour his heart out to just anyone, after all. 

Dean headed towards the door and stumbled out, slamming it behind him. Castiel winced at the sound, closing his eyes for a moment and trying to gather his thoughts.

Sam watched Dean with worry as his brother left, his gaze sliding over to Castiel in question. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but then seemed to change his mind. The demon was glad for that - he didn't think he could handle hurting both of the Winchesters in such a short time. He suspected that Sam was the only reason Dean had been brave enough to come to him in the first place, because the hunter might be willing to listen to other people's feelings, but he refused to talk about his own.

And still he tried. Still Dean put his heart out there just in case Castiel felt the same way. Just in case he could have a chance at happiness. And all so Castiel could reject him and act insulted by the very thought.

He really was a monster.


	28. Broken Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Attempted kidnapping, violence

The park was empty once the demon and the little red haired girl arrived.

Castiel assumed it was because it was a Wednesday, and most humans during this time were working or in school. He was fine with that. He didn't think he could deal with anyone else right now after what had just transpired. He wanted to enjoy this one last day with his family before he disappeared for good. It was the right thing to do, and he hoped that simply offering himself completely to Crowley would turn his attention away from the Winchesters.

Walking past Dean when he and Rhapsody left the motel room had been awkward and tense. The hunter was leaning against the hood of his Impala, drinking a beer and staring off into the distance, a mix of anger and hurt on his face. He didn't even acknowledge Castiel's existence when he waved goodbye to his daughter. He simply turned back around and continued with his brooding.

Castiel couldn't blame him, really. Dean was a proud man who couldn't admit when his feelings had gotten hurt, especially since he so rarely gave anyone the chance to do so.

"Are you and Daddy in a fight?" Rhapsody asked curiously, with a tilt of her head very reminiscent of Castiel.

"I suppose so," the demon replied, his heart heavy in his chest. Human emotions tended to be intensified when one was supernatural, after all. "He will probably want me to leave once we get back home."

"Why?"

They came upon a stone bench, and the two of them sat down together, watching the birds that flew overhead as they danced and sang to one another. "Your father wanted me to go on a date with him."

He knew it was probably not an appropriate thing to discuss with the child, but she was the only one who knew about him being less than human. Her bright green eyes looked up at him, her small hand clasping his. "And you said no?"

"Yes. I had to."

"Is it because you're still worried the demons will hurt Daddy?" The girl was incredibly astute, as usual.

"Yes. They have used my love for him and all of you against me way too often now. If I said yes and we became amorously involved... it could be dangerous. He could get hurt. You _all_ could."

Rhapsody nodded slowly, looking out over the playground. "I think if you told him the truth, he would understand."

"It's much more complex than simple honesty," Castiel said, leaning back against bench. "There are many factors at work here that even your father wouldn't understand, or accept."

"He will forgive you," Rhapsody reassured him, once again making him temporarily forget that this tiny being was only eight years old. "Daddy might get angry but he always forgives people he loves."

Castiel smiled down at her. "Aren't you going to play on the swings?" He appreciated the girl's efforts to cheer him up, but it just made him feel worse about what he had done.

She shook her head, glancing up at the sky. "Nah. You're sad and I wanna keep you company."

"But I hurt your father," he said with disbelief, confused how this one small child was so compassionate. "I may have even broken his heart."

"You did it to keep him safe!" Rhapsody insisted. "But you don't have to worry about Daddy. He's very strong. He had a broken heart before and he's okay now."

"I love you, Dee," Castiel said, emotion causing his voice to crack. "No matter what happens, I want you to know that you mean so much to me."

Rhapsody hugged him then, and he held onto her like she would fly away with the wind if he didn't. "I love you too! You know, I was hoping that one day you could have been my second Daddy."

"Really? You would have accepted me into that role?"

He was surprised to hear it. It was something he had contemplated when he once considered asking Dean to give him a chance. It was too late now, though.

The girl pulled away from him and offered a smile. "Yeah. You make my dad very happy. We would have made an awesome family."

"Well isn't this just adorable."

Castiel reacted without a thought. He jumped to his feet, pushing the girl behind him and facing whoever had come. He recognized the two demons as Crowley's elite, Milda and Erik. He had only spoken to them a couple times in the past century, but it was always hostile on their part. They didn't approve of the relationship Crowley and he once had, but he suspected that wasn't the reason they were here now.

"What do you want?" he demanded, shooting them each a glare.

"Give us the girl," Milda said, her slate gray eyes narrowing in ghoulish glee.

"No!" Castiel snarled out, his blade slowly sliding down his sleeve. "Touch one hair on her head and you will regret it."

"The King has ordered us to bring her to him," Erik told him, looking very put out by the task. "If you resist, she dies. Got it?"

Castiel glanced over his shoulder at the girl in question, who was completely terrified and clutching tightly to his coat. "What does he want with her?"

"Crowley feels like you don't have enough incentive to do what he asks without question. She is going to be your new motivator," Milda replied.

"I did what he asked!" Castiel yelled. "The priest is dead! What more motivation do I need?"

"The kind where you don't whine the whole time!" the demoness roared back, her eyes flicking to void black. "You are pathetic, crying over some human priest! Now, give us the child!"

"Unless you want to explain to Dean Winchester why his daughter's blood is on your hands, of course," Erik added, casually examining his nails.

"She isn't going anywhere with you," Castiel replied, and dropped the blade into his hand. He surged forward, and the two demons met him head on.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Rhapsody run and hide behind a tree, out of harm's way. Dean may not have liked to take her with him on hunts, but at least his training kept her safe in situations like this. He focused back on the task at hand, trying to keep both of them busy so they wouldn't attempt to go after her.

"Give up, Angel. You can't win!" Milda screamed, her voice shrill in his ears. "Why don't you just lay down and take it like you did before?" She kicked him hard, and he fell to the ground.

The answer to that question was simple, really. The two previous times he was attacked, he had been perfectly willing to lay down and die. He had nothing to live for back then, just the promise of an eternity of misery, and forced to do the dirty work for the King of Hell. True enough, he was still headed for that same depressing fate, but now he had a reason to fight. A reason to keep going until Rhapsody was safely back in her father's arms. This was a surre sign that he needed to leave the Winchesters forever, even if it meant causing them to hate him so much Crowley would no longer see them as leverage.

His eyes flicked to black, and he focused on his own demonic powers that had lain dormant for the past two months. Milda and Erik recoiled in fear, knowing that he was one of the most powerful demons around. He just smirked, rising to his feet and adjusting his coat. "Well, this is going to be so much fun." He put his hand out, and they both went flying backwards. In seconds he had them lifted up by invisible hands, choking the life out of them. They struggled to escape, their legs kicking underneath them. He slowly approached, trench coat billowing dramatically behind him. "You can threaten me all you like, but trying to take her away from me? That was a huge mistake." He clenched his fist, and the demons crumpled to the floor, their insides flickering and sputtering until they no longer moved.

His triumph was short lived, however.

"Cas!"

He turned at the girl's terror-filled voice, his confidence deflating as he took in the sight before him. Crowley was holding the girl roughly by one arm, a smug expression on his face.

"Looking for this?" he said smugly. "They were just a distraction,"

Castiel breathed out, his mind racing. He had to get Rhapsody away from him somehow. "You wanted me to fight with them so you could take her..."

"And here the other demons said you weren't smart."

"Please - just take me instead. I'll do whatever you want." He put his hands out, as if he was trying to tame a wild beast. Crowley wasn't far off from that metaphor.

"Now where have I heard _that_ before?" Crowley replied, with a shake of his head. "But sadly, you always manage to disappoint me, and so here we are. You begging for their lives, and me realizing how right I'd been all along."

"Why are you doing this? I did everything you asked!"

"You're not turning dark as quickly as I'd hoped." The King touched the girl's head and she fell to the ground.

"No!" He ran forward but was stopped in his tracks by Crowley's magic. His own might be strong, but it was nothing compared to the pure evil that the King had inside. He fought desperately against it while the other demon laughed at his futile attempts. "Calm down, Castiel. She's just taking a nap."

Castiel felt relieved at that, but it didn't make it any easier to see her so close to Crowley. All the King had to do was grab her and poof away.

His grace fought against the darkness inside, begging him to save her before it was too late. He had to keep him talking. "Why are you so fascinated by the Winchesters? There's other hunters in the region besides them to focus your attention on."

"Yes, but it's only Dean who is special. Those other hunters are a dime a dozen."

"But why him?"

"Oh, come now. You can't expect me to reveal all my evil plans just yet, do you? The story is just beginning." Crowley winked at him. "Face it, Darling. You've lost."

"No!" Castiel fell to his knees, trying to crawl towards Rhapsody. "Please don't hurt her. Whatever you wish of me, I'll do it without questioning you."

"It's not that simple." Crowley shrugged. "I tried to be nice. I even accommodated your need to stay with those bloody morons who would turn on you in a second if they knew you as I did. And still you resist me." Crowley stared at him with an expression that might have been mistaken for sympathy. "You're a _demon_ , Castiel. Why would you let yourself be so affected by these humans? Why don't you just embrace the darkness and be free?"

"Because I'm not like you!" Castiel yelled in frustration, his fists clenched at his sides. "I was meant to be an angel and to live eternally in my Father's grace! I wasn't meant to be... _this_."

"You're not an angel anymore, and you never will be again!" Crowley hissed, his eyes turning blood red. "And now, once the Winchesters have found out what you really are, they will destroy you and do my job for me. Dean will be devastated, of course - maybe even go on some manic, booze-filled revenge spree and kill every single demon he can get his hands on, since he accidentally fell in love with one." He snickered. "One who broke his heart, no less. Isn't that tragic? Eventually they will be led right to my doorstep. Just as I planned."

"They don't deserve this. They are all good people. Sam and Dean took me in when I was nothing but a pet for you to play with. They saved me when you sent your minions to break me down even further than I already was. You won't win this, Crowley. I won't let you!"

"Oh, but I already have." He glanced past Castiel, that smug expression back on his face. "Goodbye, little demon. It was good once, you and I. We might have been really great together. But you no longer fit into my plans."

With a snap of his fingers, he was gone, with Rhapsody lying safely in the grass at Castiel's feet.

He stood there in shock for a moment, confused about what all this had been about in the first place. Why create such an elaborate scheme if he was going to leave her there this whole time? Surely, there had to be some other reason besides taunting him...

He heard footsteps then, and he froze, the pure, bright soul he would know anywhere burning hot next to him. Crowley had managed to trap him again, and in the worst way possible. The King was right. He had won. And now it was too late for Castiel. He knew this day would arrive, he had just hoped it wouldn't come so quickly.

With resignation, he slowly lifted his eyes to meet the furious emerald green stare of Dean Winchester.


	29. Revelation

Dean had followed Castiel and Rhapsody to the park because he wanted to apologize.

He wanted to say sorry for being a dick and storming off like a child when Castiel said 'no'. He wanted to say sorry for putting his best friend in that awkward situation in the first place (he was going to kill Sam later for that, by the way). But mostly, he wanted to make sure everything was okay between them. Castiel may have rejected him, but that was no excuse to treat him badly. Wounded pride or not, he wasn't going to be **that guy**.

And so he had walked to the park where he knew they'd be, ready to spill out apologies and promises of ice cream sundaes later - Castiel loved those - and hope that they could just pretend this whole thing never happened. What he got instead was something out of his worst nightmare, and for a moment, all he could do was stand in shock at what he saw, fear coursing through him like lightning. Rhapsody lying motionless on the ground in front of some asshole in a suit, and Castiel on his knees, pleading for her life. The father inside him wanted to rush in there and save his daughter no matter what it took, but the hunter knew that there was more to this than meets the eye, especially when he overheard their conversation.

"They don't deserve this. They are all good people. Sam and Dean took me in when I was nothing but a pet for you to play with. They saved me when you sent your minions to break me down even further than I already was. You won't win this, Crowley. I won't let you."

So the asshole in the suit was Crowley? What the fuck? Dean edged closer, hiding behind a tree and peering through the leaves. He wished that he had thought to brought a knife or something, but who the hell expects to get into a fight with demons at the park?

He glanced around, noticing the bodies of a man and woman a few feet away, also dressed in black suits. Were they innocents who had been caught in the crossfire? It was just lucky that no one else seemed to be around, otherwise he'd have to worry about his family plus the lives of the civilians.

"Oh, but I already have." Crowley was talking again and Dean cautiously slid out from behind the tree, trying to stay out of the King of Hell's line of sight. Apparently it wasn't cautious enough, because he could see the very instant Crowley noticed him, and for a minute, they just locked eyes with one another, a smug expression sliding onto the other man's face. "Goodbye, little demon. It was good once, you and I. We might have really been great together. But you no longer fit into my plans." Crowley snapped his fingers, and suddenly disappeared.

So Castiel was a demon... that was definitely something they would have to discuss very soon. He just needed to get Rhapsody to safety, and then he'd worry about his deceitful best friend.

Dean continued forward, his eyes wary as he looked around, half expecting more black eyed dicks to come popping out of the woodwork. That was all he needed right now. Eventually he made it to Castiel and his daughter, relief flooding him once he saw she was unharmed.

Castiel looked up at him then, devastation in those ocean blues. "Dean, I -"

The hunter put a hand up. "This isn't the place to have this conversation, and we _will_ have it, Cas."

The demon had the good sense to look worried about that.

He took a deep breath, slowly lifting Rhapsody off the ground. "First things first - what did he give her?"

"It's a sleeping spell. She will wake up soon."

Dean nodded. "Okay. Can you get us out of here? I don't like being out in the open like this."

"Yes." Castiel rose to his feet, placing a hand on Dean's arm. A moment later, they were standing outside the motel room.

"Wait here," Dean instructed, and pushed open the door. Sam jumped up from the bed at the sight of his unconscious niece.

"What the hell happened?"

"Hell happened," Dean replied dryly, gently placing the little girl on his bed.

"You mean demons?"

"Yeah." Dean slowly looked her over, making sure there weren't any cuts or scrapes on her body. Crowley had already earned a target on his back tonight for what he had done - harming Dean's little girl would have earned him a much slower death sentence.

"What's going on?" Sam asked worriedly, hovering near the edge of the bed.

"It's a long story, Sammy, and I don't even know all of it. Cliff notes? Cas is a demon, he was working for Crowley against his will, and he just almost died trying to save Dee."

Sam stared at him in shock. "What?"

"Yeah, that was my reaction, too."

"Where is he?"

"Crowley? He poofed away."

"No, I mean Cas. You didn't kill him, did you?"

"Seriously, Sam? The guy's a demon!"

Sam glared at him. "You just told me he was working for Crowley against his will, and he tried to save Dee."

Dean sighed. "Yeah."

"So, hear him out. We've trusted Cas for a long time now - you've left him alone with her so many times and she's always been fine."

"Never thought I'd hear you defending a demon, Sam."

The younger hunter shrugged. "Things aren't always so black and white. We've met a couple monsters who weren't so bad over the years. Remember Lenore?"

Lenore was a vampire who was trying to be a 'vegan' and only lived on blood bags and willing donations so she wouldn't hurt people. He had to admit that she was kind of nice to talk to, despite the whole bloodsucker thing.

"Fine. He's waiting outside for me, anyway. I guess we'll take a drive and see what's what."

Sam sat down on the bed next to his niece. "Try not to do anything rash. Not unless you think he truly deserves it. We don't have much family, Dean. I'd like to keep the ones we have left."

Dean walked outside, where Castiel was standing and watching the sunset. "Let's go for a drive."

"Oh. I understand. You wish to take me somewhere else to kill me so your child won't have to witness it..."

Castiel sounded utterly devastated, and Dean angrily slammed a fist down on the hood of his car, not in the mood for the melodrama right now.

"Dammit, Cas! I don't know what the fuck to do, alright? The only thing I do know is, we _need_ to talk about this before my mind has time to come up with some fucked up scenarios that will make this whole shitty situation much worse than it already is. Now get your ass in the car."

The demon slid into the passenger seat, and Dean followed suit. He drove for about 10 minutes before he couldn't take the silence anymore, and pulled onto an abandoned dirt path. He rolled down the window, resting his elbow on the door frame, and tried to think of how to start. Part of him wondered if he was a terrible hunter, since a demon had been living under their noses for months and they never noticed. Sure, the guy was more socially awkward than most, and didn't know how to use a shower, and had never even seen _Star Wars_. And maybe it was a bit odd that he was allergic to salted fries and holy water...

Yep, he was a fucking moron.

"Okay, Cas," he began, with a wave of his hand. "This is your one chance to come clean. Tell me everything."

So Castiel spilled about everything, from the time he was thrown out of Heaven when he was an angel (so angels existed too, because why not?) up until the moment that Dean had come across them in the park merely a half hour ago. By the time he was finished, Dean was staring at the guy like he had grown a third head, because seriously, how was this his life?

"Are you kidding me right now?" Dean asked.

Castiel tilted his head. "No, I am being completely serious."

Dean raked a hand through his hair, feeling anger and frustration threaten to burst out of him. "So all this time that we were chasing our tails trying to find demons and Crowley, you've been in contact with him the whole time?"

"Not willingly. He was forcing me to do his bidding."

"And if you didn't?"

"Then he would have killed all of you."

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth from the beginning, Cas? We could have prevented the bullshit at the park if I had known what I was dealing with!"

"I couldn't tell you. It would have just put you in even more danger. As long as I did what he told me, you and the rest of your family would stay safe."

Dean nodded slowly. "And why didn't you tell me that you were a demon in the beginning? I trusted you with my kid, man!"

Castiel looked insulted at Dean's words, his hands curling into fists. "I would _never_ hurt her!" he snapped. "And if I had told you on the day we met that I was a demon, would you have really listened to anything I said beyond that?"

"No! Of course not! I would've -" He stopped, realizing now why Castiel had been so hesitant to be honest. Dean was a hunter, and hunters always shot first and asked questions later. "Sammy has your back, you know."

"Why? Surely he would want to kill me just as much as you do."

"He considers you family. I told you once that family doesn't give up on each other."

"I lied to you, Dean. I put Rhapsody in danger."

"Did you do it on purpose?" Dean asked, because that was kind of something important for him to know at this point.

"No!" Castiel looked like he wanted to punch Dean in the face. "I told you that I would never harm her."

"So why did Crowley show up here?"

Castiel shook his head and stared down at his lap. "Because I fight him at every turn. Whenever he's asked me to kill someone I beg him not to. Recently he... he made me kill a priest."

Dean suddenly remembered a news article he had read recently about a local priest named Father Grady who had been found dead outside his church. "That was you?" he whispered.

Castiel met his gaze for a moment, before looking away in shame. "That time, he threatened to slit Jody's throat and then kill my brother if I failed him."

"Shit."

"He manipulated me," Castiel continued, his voice breaking. "He told me the priest was an evil man who stole from his congregation. Crowley waited until after I had taken his life to tell me the truth - that he was destined for sainthood."

Dean felt sick to his stomach. For Castiel, for the Priest, for every fucked up thing Crowley had ever had a hand in. "I'm sorry," Dean said softly.

"I'm sure you hate me now," the demon said, his blue eyes watery with tears. "I deserve it. I know you will probably kill me and I hope you do."

Dean's throat was tight with emotion, and he swallowed hard to get the words out. "I don't want to kill you, Cas. Honestly. Why would you say that?"

"Don't you get it?" Castiel cried out, the tears finally sliding down his face. "He set all that up at the park so that you would find out what I was and get rid of me. If you don't he will just keep coming until he has broken every last part of me! I don't have much left, Dean. You and your family were all I had, and now I've lost that, too."

"That's not true," Dean told him sincerely. Demon or not, the guy had been risking his life to save Dean's. That definitely counted for something. "And fuck Crowley. I've never been one to do what everyone else wants. I can handle making my own decisions."

Castiel stared at him in disbelief. "You're going to let me live? Why?"

"I don't know - because I'm a dumb ass who fell in love with a demon, of all things?" Dean laughed nervously, trying to regain control of his own emotions.

"You... _love_ me?"

Dean cleared his throat, remembering the painful rejection from earlier. Now was probably not the time to rehash all that again, but hey. The cat had practically ripped through the bag at this point. "Yeah, Cas. I do. But you don't have to say anything," he quickly added, not wanting to make his friend uncomfortable. "I just wanted you to know that - "

"I love you too, Dean."

It was the hunter's turn to stare in disbelief. "What? You just told me earlier - "

"Crowley has been using my love for you against me," Castiel explained. "When you asked me to accompany you on a date, I said no because I had already decided I was going to leave. I thought being away from you and your family would keep you safe, and that maybe someday you would find someone worthy of you."

"I don't want anyone else," Dean told him, slowly reaching across the seat to take the demon's hand in his. "And you _are_ worthy. Who else would go through all this just to protect me? Not that I need protecting, of course," he said with a pointed look, because Dean Winchester was no damsel in distress.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dean, you are quite capable at combat, but Crowley is powerful."

"Then we will take him on together." Dean smiled at his best friend, squeezing his hand gently. "No matter what it takes."

"Do you really believe that we will be enough?"

"Someone has to take that swarmy dick down, why not us?" Dean straightened in his seat again. "I wanted to thank you for protecting my little girl."

"I would do anything to keep her safe."

"I believe that." Dean looked up at the darkened sky and the twinkling stars overhead. "You don't have to do this alone, you know. You're family."

"This might be a bad time to ask, but - is that invitation for dinner still open?" Castiel asked hesitantly.

Dean burst into laughter. "Yeah, but - do you even need to eat? Being that you're..." He gestured to his friend. "You know."

"A demon?"

"Yeah."

"I don't mind it. I enjoy your burgers very much." Castiel leaned back in his seat. "So, are we going now?"

"Yeah. Keep your pants on. First I have to call Sammy and let him know I haven't killed you and left your body in a ditch somewhere."

"Thanks for that," Castiel replied dryly, with a bitch face that could rival Sam's.

The hunter started the car, the rumbling sound filling the night air. "Anytime, Cas." He pulled out his phone and called his brother, as they headed back towards town. "Hey, Sammy, you're never going to believe this..."


	30. Family Meeting

The ride back to Sioux Falls had been tense, but not just because Castiel was a demon, because yeah - what the actual _fuck_.

It was Sam who had called Bobby and filled him in on everything, because even Dean wasn't brave enough to do that. Naturally, the older hunter demanded they 'hightail their asses back home immediately' so that they could have a family meeting. He didn't sound entirely thrilled that a demon had been living under their roof the whole time, and Sam was worried that Bobby would shoot Dean's boyfriend - or whatever they were now that they had professed their undying love for each other - the moment the Impala pulled into the driveway.

He couldn't stop tapping his foot the closer they got, and Dean kept giving him dirty looks and threatening to toss him out if he kept it up. In the backseat, Castiel was perfectly calm, playing 'I Spy' with Rhapsody, who didn't seem worried in the least that her second father figure wasn't exactly human. Children were always more accepting of things than adults, after all. Sam had been shocked to find out the news himself, though he always knew there was something different about Castiel. Granted, he was a bit more biased, because one of his ex-girlfriends happened to be a demon, too.

_Ruby..._

He would probably always love her. Maybe not as much as he had loved Jess, but her betrayal was something he couldn't forgive. With Ruby came danger and addiction that led him straight off the edge, and right into oblivion. When Dean had caught Sam in the dark, desperately licking the last tiny bit of demon blood off his palm, he had been understandably pissed off. He and Bobby had locked Sam up in the panic room until the addiction wore off, and he endured sweat, tears, hallucinations and withdrawals that would make rehab seem like a vacation. That whole incident was something Dean never brought up again, because in true Winchester fashion, he preferred to sweep things under the rug and pretend it never happened. Maybe now was a good time to talk about that, in the hopes that Dean might be able to finally get past it.

After Bobby reamed them all a new ass, of course.

Singer Salvage came into view, and now it was Dean who started to look tense, his hands drumming on the steering wheel to music that wasn't even playing. Sam resisted the urge to give him hell the way Dean had done to him, but his brother was under enough pressure right now, and liable to tell Castiel to poof Sam to Antarctica or something out of spite. Dean and Castiel hadn't even been able to go on their date last night because of this impromptu family gathering, but with Crowley upping the ante, they didn't really have time to have normal social lives right now. Not that any of this was _normal_.

Gabriel was sitting on the porch waiting for them when Dean parked the car, and everyone slowly filed out. After hearing about Castiel's story and learning what he used to be (Sam was definitely going to collect on the money he was owed for being right all along about angels) there had been a burning question in his mind about Gabriel, and what he really was underneath all that wit and sarcasm. Sam had read the bible before, and he knew all about a certain Archangel who shared the same name.

He watched as Gabriel lazily swirled a red lollipop in his mouth, his golden eyes lifting to meet Sam's. It was almost electric, the way they gazed at each other, and Sam couldn't bring himself to look away. Not until Dean stepped into his line of view and snapped his fingers in Sam's face in annoyance.

Okay. That was... strange.

"Earth to Sammy!" Dean groused, shoving a duffel bag roughly into his chest. "You gonna help unpack or are you gonna stand there gawking all day?"

"Now you know how it feels to be in the same room with you and Cas for more than 5 minutes," he responded with a sly smile, taking the bag and heading towards the house.

Dean just stood there dumbfounded. Sam loved when he managed to render his brother speechless.

"Heya, Samsquatch," Gabriel greeted as he got near. "The hunt went well, I take it?"

Sam huffed a laugh, hoisting the strap of the bag over his shoulder. "Uhh... yes and no? Did Bobby tell you -"

"Oh yeah. I always miss everything." Gabriel looked like he might actually be pouting about just that.

"Trust me, I think the fun is only just beginning," Sam said with a sigh. He gestured towards the house. "Is he still pissed off, or what?"

"Well, he's not happy." Gabriel winked at him. "But then again, that seems to be his default personality, so..."

"I figured. Is that why you're sitting out here?" "Yeah, that and I need to talk to my little bro for a minute." Gabriel stood up, stretching his arms with an almost obscene moan. Sam pretended not to hear it. "See ya inside, Sammy."

Normally, he hated when anyone but Dean called him Sammy (not that he particularly liked when Dean did it, either), but for some reason it sounded nice rolling off Gabriel's tongue. And that moan...

Nope! Nothing good could come of that.

He quickly shook off that line of thought and walked into the house. He found Jody in the kitchen making sandwiches, dancing along to the sounds of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 that came from a small radio on the counter. A fresh pot of coffee was brewing and filling the place with the delicious scent of vanilla and hazelnut, Sam's favorite. He was glad to be back home, despite the reasoning of their hasty return. In a way, he was glad that they were going to talk things out. He had always been taught that you can never hunt with people you don't trust, and who don't trust you in return. It could end up fatal for everyone. Airing out their dirty little secrets was going to be the only way they could get through this together.

Perhaps Crowley had actually done them a favor by exposing Castiel.

"Good morning!" he greeted, setting the bag down and sliding into a chair at the table. Jody turned around and smiled at him, lowering the volume on her music. "Morning. Did you guys get some sleep before you came?"

"Well, no, but -" She put a finger up, and he could tell he was about to hear another lecture.

Somewhere along the way, maybe even before she and Bobby had gotten together, she had slipped into the role of mom to Sam and Dean, always reminding them to eat and get enough rest. Dean always complained about it, but Sam knew he was secretly touched that Jody cared so much about them.

"What have I told you boys? Rest, then travel." She shot him a disapproving look, before returning to the sandwiches.

"Bobby said he wanted us back home as soon as possible."

"I doubt he meant for you to hop back on the road right then and there! You boys just hunted a pack of werewolves!" She tsk-tsked and started to arrange the food on a large white platter. "Once we're done with our little meeting, go get some rest, okay?"

Sam chuckled a little. "Yes, Ma'am."

He knew there was no arguing with her when it came to his well being, so he stopped trying long ago. "Where is he, anyway?"

"He was in the study, last I saw him. Surprised he wasn't waiting with a shotgun when you guys pulled up."

"Yeah, I was expecting the same thing."

"Well, go get cleaned up and your stuff unpacked. I'll grab Bobby and we'll hash this whole thing out."

"Aren't you upset that Cas lied?" Sam asked, a little surprised that Jody was being so cool about it.

She gave a shrug of her shoulders. "Our lives aren't exactly normal. I see the weird stuff all the time - if not here, then at work. Cas being a demon is nothing in comparison. I honestly don't think he intends to harm any of us, because why else would he have stayed? He is a supernatural being who has been found out, and still he rode with you guys back home where he could easily be killed." When Sam began to protest she put a hand out. "Not that we're planning on doing that, of course. I'm just saying."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." He stood up, wincing a little as a bruise on his ribs from one of the werewolves flared up in pain. Luckily Jody didn't notice it, or he'd never hear the end of it. "Talk to you soon."

xoxo

If he thought the car ride was tense, it was nothing compared to the current scene. Bobby was sitting at his desk, steadily glaring at Castiel while Jody stood next to him, trying to placate him with a pastrami sandwich. He didn't lose his focus for even a second as he took it from her and began to savagely bite into it. Dean and Castiel were sitting on the couch together, with Sam next to them, and Gabriel hanging off the armrest. The shorter man had yet another lollipop hanging out of his mouth, a green one this time, and Sam wondered where he was hiding them all.

Once again he had to clear his mind of all those unnatural thoughts and remember the topic at hand.

"I knew you were hiding somethin'," Bobby finally said, continuing to angrily chew on his sandwich. "I told ya that if I ever found out what it was, there'd be hell to pay."

"Let him tell us his side, honey," Jody said gently, placing a hand on the hunter's shoulder.

"Dee coulda been hurt in that park. She coulda been killed!"

"I already gave him the third degree about that one," Dean interjected, folding his arms across his chest. "But he -"

"Let me talk, boy," Bobby demanded, his steely glare landing on Dean for a moment.

The older Winchester put his hands up in surrender. They might fight monsters for a living, but they were no match for a royally pissed off Bobby Singer.

"Now. Tell us everything, Cas. No more secrets. No more lies. Got it?"

Sam felt sorry for the demon sitting next to him. For being such a powerful creature, Castiel looked absolutely terrified.

"I was once an angel, cast out of Heaven because I had thoughts and opinions about how my brother Lucifer was treated. My Father believed that that was the path to worse disobedience in the future." He looked down at his hands, his eyes full of emotion. "My entire garrison watched as I was thrown into Hell." Gabriel mumbled something unintelligible under his breath at that, the obvious guilt flashing over his face. "As I fell, my wings were... burned off. I could feel my grace leaving me, and it was the worst thing I have ever experienced."

"Grace?" Dean questioned.

"Grace is the equivalent of a soul for an angel. It is our - _their_ \- entire being," Castiel replied. "My Father, in all his wisdom, left a tiny bit of it inside me. Gabriel recently told me that it was a timer of sorts."

"What do ya mean, a timer?" Bobby asked, actual concern replacing the annoyance on his face.

Castiel sighed, fiddling with the belt on his jacket. "I have to redeem myself to God before my grace runs out, or I will be a demon forever."

"Damn. All because you stood up for your brother?" Dean angrily spat out, clearly upset for his new lover's plight.

"There was more to it than that," Gabriel spoke up, his voice more dull than it usually was. "Cassie here interfered in something he shouldn't have."

"Are you a demon, too?" Bobby asked with an accusing stare.

The shorter man smiled, but there was incredible sadness in it. "No. I'm an archangel."

Sam's mouth dropped open, his inner fanboy singing with glee. "As in... the Archangel Gabriel?"

Gabriel nodded and gave him a wink. "Yep. The one and only."

The others in the room stared at the man in shock and disbelief. He noticed the skeptical looks on their faces, so he sighed with exasperation and rose to his feet. Lightning flashed in the room, and suddenly the silhouettes of 6 huge wings appeared on the wall behind him. Sam could only watch in awe at the scene, longing to reach out touch the wings himself.

"Wow," Sam breathed, his hand frozen in the air. "It's true, then. Angels are real."

"I thought you guys believed in all this already," Gabriel replied, ending the light show and sitting back down. "Cas told you all of this last night, didn't he?"

"Not that you were an angel," Castiel said, "I thought you would want to tell them yourself."

"Good call," the archangel agreed. "Demons are one thing, but angels..."

"So you said that he interfered in something?" Jody said, after a pregnant pause.

Gabriel and Castiel traded glances, before the latter nodded slowly. "I was trying to save my brother Lucifer from Hell."

"So the devil is actually real?" Sam questioned, leaning forward in his seat.

The archangel rolled his eyes. "Seriously? Sometimes I wonder how you mooks even manage to function."

"Gabriel," Castiel warned, shaking his head at his big brother.

Gabriel shrugged his shoulders in reply. "I'm just saying."

Castiel rose to his feet and looked out the window. "Your bible tells you one story about Lucifer, but it's wrong. Yes, he didn't want to love mankind more than our Father, but it was simply because he saw what they would become. How they would treat each other. Father didn't want to believe such a possibility, so he believed Lucifer to be evil, incapable of love."

"We all wanted to help him," Gabriel said sadly, staring down at his shoes. "But you don't stand up to God. Lucy did and look where that got him."

"Lucy?" Dean asked, finally speaking up. "Are you kidding me?"

Castiel turned away from the window and smiled at his hunter. "No. He was quite beloved by all the angels. A real prankster, too. He often put Gabriel to shame."

Gabriel huffed and crossed his arms. "If you say so, little brother. I found him arrogant and annoying."

"So what's the plan?" Bobby asked. "How do we gank Crowley and save your grace?"

Castiel laughed then, sadness in those blue eyes. "I have no idea."


	31. Gabe, all sweets and sass

The Archangel Gabriel was _real_. Sam could hardly believe it.

The rest of the day, he kept finding himself staring at the shorter man in awe. He supposed he was 'nerding out', as Dean would say, but it wasn't every day that you got to meet an actual angel. Then again, he never expected to meet an actual _demon_ , either - and now Dean was sort of dating one. 

After the family meeting had ended (on a more pleasant note than anyone had expected), Dean and Castiel had gone upstairs to talk more about the situation at hand, while Bobby, Jody and Rhapsody headed out to buy groceries for dinner. He and Gabriel were alone, and he wanted to take the rare opportunity to learn more about a species that he never even knew existed until today. 

The angel was still lounging on the couch in the study, happily browsing through a half eaten box of chocolates that had magically appeared sometime during the meeting. He glanced up as Sam slowly approached, scooting over slightly so that the younger Winchester could sit down next to him.

Sam started and stopped talking several times, before he finally managed to choke out: "Hel-lo."

Gabriel just stared at him as if he had grown a second head. "Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah. Of course." Sam laughed awkwardly. "Why would you ask that? I'm perfectly fine."

"You're acting weird. Well, weirder than _normal_." The angel focused on his chocolates again, tossing aside a coconut creme one with disgust. "I don't know why they try to sneak those nasty things in here all the time. No one wants them!"

"I'm - that is to say - well, I - I was just wondering - "

Gabriel was staring at him again. "Riiight. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess this is about the whole -" He spread his arms wide. "Archangel thing."

Sam dumbly nodded. Man, he was glad that Dean couldn't see him now, otherwise he would never be able to live it down.

Gabriel set his treats aside and clapped his hands together. "Okay, fine. Spill. What do ya want to know?"

Sam felt like he had just been handed the Holy Grail. He almost wished he had taken notes earlier so that he had a list of things readily available to ask the angel instead of standing there gaping like a moron.

"How old are you?"

He winced. That was seriously the best he could come up with? Fantastic.

Gabriel didn't seem to feel one way or another about it though, and instead sat back on the couch, a thoughtful look on his face. "You know - I really have no idea anymore."

"Wow. That old, huh?" 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Well we can't _all_ look like we've been Photoshopped, Sammy."

Sam blushed furiously and cleared his throat. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"Uh huh. Next question."

"So you're really Cas' brother?"

"Yes." 

"And you still love him, despite the fact that he's..." Sam waved his hands vaguely.

"A demon?"

"Yeah."

Gabriel looked saddened for a moment. "He's my little brother. Our Father may have turned His back on him but I just can't. I _tried_." He looked down at his hands. "I hadn't spoken to him in nearly a century until the day at the park. The same day that he met Dean, actually."

Sam raised a brow in surprise. "You waited almost a _hundred_ _years_ to talk to him? Why?"

Gabriel sighed and got up from the couch, walking over to the window. "You're thinking of time from a human perspective, Sam. A century is like five minutes to me and Cas. When he was cast out of Heaven, no one expected to see or hear from him again. I thought that when he became a demon, the brother I knew and loved would be gone forever."

Sam looked down at his hands, remembering his dark time with Ruby. "You thought he would be evil."

The archangel nodded. "A soul as pure as Castiel's, that was tossed into the pits of hell... would be the most corruptible." He huffed a laugh. "And boy, did Crowley try to corrupt him."

"Why was he so set on doing that to Cas, though? What would he have to gain from it?"

"I don't - " Gabriel turned to look at him, realization slowly dawning on his face. "Wait a minute. The prophecy..."

Sam thought back to the demon in the garage. "And when the truest angel of the purest heart sheds the blood of the Righteous Man..."

"Lucifer the Morning Star will rise from his cage and walk the Earth once more," Gabriel finished. "I couldn't quite figure it out before, but it makes sense." He began to pace, waving his arms wildly as he spoke. "If Crowley corrupts Cas, and causes him to fulfill the prophecy, then he - but why would he want him to fulfill it?"

"Wouldn't Lucifer just take Crowley's job if he gets released?" Sam asked.

"Exactly." Gabriel paced some more. "Crowley would _never_ give that up."

Sam felt the tumblers begin to click into place. "If he corrupted Cas, then he wouldn't exactly be the truest angel of the purest heart anymore, would he?"

Gabriel stopped in his tracks. "No, he wouldn't. So Crowley's trying to keep Lucifer locked away. Snuffing out the last bit of Cas' grace would ensure that Lucifer would be trapped forever."

"Unless some other pure and true Angel comes along," Sam said softly.

"No." Gabriel slid back into his seat. "My little brother was always the exception. Too much heart. Too much compassion. Everyone used to think he was broken."

"Did you?"

Gabriel shook his head. "I was one of the first angels. We were all conditioned to follow orders and do right by God and Heaven. Cas saw more than orders and rules, though. He saw humanity for being the broken, terrible thing it was, and yet he still loved it. It was his greatest weakness."

"I'm sorry, Gabe." 

"Don't be. I've never been one to dwell on the past."

"Who is the Righteous Man, then?"

Gabriel huffed a laugh. "Isn't it obvious? Your brother."

Sam stared back at him in shock. "Dean? Why him?"

"Because, doofus. Dean may be a lot of things, but he is a hero first and foremost. He would rush headlong into danger to save someone, even if he _knew_ that he had no chance of getting out alive. He's done it before," Gabriel added, with a pointed look.

"Cas," Sam murmured.

"Yep." The angel tapped his fingers on the couch. "I guess Crowley was hoping to kill three birds with one stone."

Sam nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "By corrupting Cas, he'd not only get a ruthless killer on his hands, but he would get rid of Dean, and any chance that Lucifer would be set free."

"Pretty smart move on his part. I'll give him that. If he wasn't such a pompous douchebag, I might actually admire him for having those big brass balls of his," Gabriel replied. 

"So, what's the plan?" Sam asked. "He made the move against Cas, expecting us to kill him and take care of his dirty work. What's he going to do next?"

Gabriel shrugged. "I have no idea, but it's only been a day. He's probably wondering the same thing about you mooks. In the meantime..." He got up and stretched out his arms. "What do you say we go to the kitchen and scrounge up some lunch?"


End file.
